At the end of last week I wrote two posts about how I need to make some big changes in my life and gain back some control. The first was about the need to lose weight and the second, about better time management. In another few days I will write a follow-up post on how each of these plans are progressing. Meanwhile an interesting question has arisen from some of the comments after these posts.
Crystal Jigsaw and Jazzygal both wrote words to the effect: You are doing great as a single mother and don't be too hard on yourself. I am very grateful for these comments - I'm very grateful for any and all comments - and they do help me ease up a bit on my expectations. And herein lies the problem: I am only too quick to react to comments such as these with a sigh of relief and a wander towards the sofa, usually via the fridge.
So how hard should one be on oneself? If I excuse every lazy day in the name of single motherhood I will slide further and further towards sluttish obesity, not to mention poverty. On the other hand, though I don't expect to keep to my pre-baby standards in many areas of my life, I do acknowledge that I cannot do everything in the time available. Furthermore, the time available isn't always available - DD does not always sleep on demand and I do not always manage to stay awake on demand.
And then there is blogging. Take now for example - I should be working for money. I know it is almost midnight but I work from home and this is a good and quiet time to get on with it. But I want to get in one more post before the holiday (the Jewish festival of Shavuot falls in the middle of this week and it's a two-day national holiday). It is important to me as this is my hobby and my me-thing - not just the writing but also developing the blog and building up readership. It is a link to the outside world and provides connections to other adults at a time when I spend every evening at home with a sleeping toddler. It is part of being kind to myself and it guzzles time (again, not just the writing but the networking and reading other blogs, etc... which is an important aspect of blogging). Rightly or wrongly, blogging has high priority.
And yet, all the factors I wrote about last week still apply and they need to be addressed. So, without being too hard on myself (as instructed), how hard is too hard?