The 100 word challenge this week issued the prompt:
But it wasn't my fault.
Read what Dancing In The rain had to say about that and then pop over to Julia's for more entries.
Late Again
He retreated from her proffered kiss. "But it wasn't my fault", she
insisted. "The traffic simply wasn't moving." Thinking how to placate him as she
removed her coat, she could read his thoughts, "this time the traffic, last time
a rush job, before that....."
"If you loved me", he stated icily, "you wouldn't want me to sit here
waiting. If you respected me, then you would realise that my time is just as
precious as yours." Striding out of the cafe, he left her with one arm still
dangling, faintly protesting, "but I've never been more than ten minutes late".
Ten minutes? If she's awful, that makes me one to avoid. I like seeing two sides of an issue, but I think if he loved her he would prefer a long talk later to leaving her cold. This feels very real to me, as if I've met him.
ReplyDeleteThankyou for getting the point or 2 points. On the one hand what he says is very valid, but there again, isn't he overeacting somewhat - sort of punishing her? Is it his pride or does he really feel unloved? And what's ten minutes, anyway? I think we've all met him in one scenario or another.
DeleteThis is a great snapshot and I'd love to know everything that has gone before. Maybe they've already had that long talk and she's still persistently late? That would certainly explain his attitude.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, he sounds like this has happened once too often. I felt the rawness of the emotion in this- sounds very real!
ReplyDeleteYes, he is over-reacting, but if it happens time and time again, surely she needs to set off earlier. it's the little things - just ten minutes - which niggle and gnaw at relationships.
ReplyDeleteI love it that this can leaves you wondering who exactly is being unreasonable here. It could be either one of them - we'd need more background. Also very clever how you make the reader change allegience at the end. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your input. You have made me feel that I have indeed succeeded in posing this dilemma in just 100 words. Even with more background, there doesn't seem to be a realistic explanation. Yes, he's told her before. Yes, she's tried leaving earlier but doesn't usually succeed due to a variety of reasons - but should he not understand by now that she's permanently stressed out and allow for that? I understand both their reactions but can't work out what motivates each of them to continue in their set behavioural patterns - he in getting so very annoyed and she in never managing to be on time.
ReplyDeleteIn this short piece I saw that there was much more to it than the perpetual tardiness of the woman. Maybe she is late on purpose, wanting to make him suffer. Maybe he's having an affair and wants to justify walking away from her. I wanted to know more so I could pick a side. Very effective!
ReplyDeleteGSussex
ReplyDeleteShe protests too much and should just apologise!
This is a great story. Brevity creates the time and space for so many suspicions, questions and speculation. My imagination was left like a bewildered bystander in the cafe, blowing the froth off a latte...
ReplyDeleteNice comment. Thanks. And yoú're right. It's not so simple....
DeleteNice work. And something tells me that getting mad at the lateness is just part of the story.
ReplyDeletedon't like him!
ReplyDeleteIt's the little things that stack up in relationships. He is being unreasonable, but we don't know what's gone before, and maybe he senses she's just not that emotionally involved. She doesn't seem to have the investment he has...
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