Monday, July 16, 2012

50 Days To Change My World Part 1

Sometimes it seems like my whole life has been a battle for perfection. Being a Virgo (if you believe in these things, which I'm not sure I do) I am destined to be a perfectionist. Being a procrastinator of the first order I am always on the losing side. And the biggest struggle is the one about weight. I know I can be slim as I've achieved it several times in my life and maintained a slim figure for years sometimes. However, once you lose it (or should that be gain it?) it can take years to get back into the right mindset.

With money tight and a wardrobe full of clothes that no longer fit it's a no brainer that spending less on food I don't need to eat and opening up a whole new/old wardrobe of clothes I already own is a sensible economic move. If only it were just a matter of good sense.

I cannot stick to one of those diets that tell you exactly what to eat each day. Nor one that requires a degree in chemistry in order to work out the system. I cannot spend hours cooking fancy food and be expected to leave uneaten portions for subsequent days. I'm not into exercising. However, whilst I approve of a healthy way of eating for your whole life rather than a drastic diet - I've reached the point where this isn't working for me either as the slowness of it is too frustrating. Did I mention that I don't eat meat (at home - I'll blog about it, bear with me on this one).

After DD was born I quickly lost all the baby weight and more. I was breastfeeding, happy, under no pressure as I'd just had a baby so I could justify any lumps and bumps, stress-free as I'd saved up enough money to stay at home and not work for the first year... Whatever the reasons, here's what I looked like when DD was a few weeks old.


By the time she was 6 months my face had rounded out again (not such a bad thing) and the hips were filling out again nicely too (a bad thing).


Three years later, I have been starting a diet every few weeks, losing even up to 10lbs, and then throwing in the towel only to start again the following Sunday morning or 1st of the month. The goal was always my 50th birthday - I had a whole year to succeed, then 6 months, 3 months... Now we are down to 50 days. (Yeah I know, who's 'we' Pale Face?)

I have in the past done an 'I'm going on a diet' post in the hopes that a public announcement will spur me on (or shame me) towards success. I've resisted that lately for obvious reasons (embarrassment mainly). HOWEVER. It's 50 days until my 50th Birthday! This is not how I want to look on my 50th Birthday:






I'm not the worst case of morbid obesity of the like regularly featured in the sensational press but I did once put up a picture of Lucien Freud's Sue Tilley on my fridge to constantly remind myself of my potential.


Lucian Freud's portrait of Sue Tilley sold for a record £17million

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1019795/What-dreadful-painting-tells-art-corrupting-power-money-mans-contempt-female-sex.html#ixzz20lwkcqvF
Hahaha - thank you God! As I was writing the previous paragraph the phone rang. It was friends visiting from London and inviting me to join them for lunch at a local restaurant. I've just finished my OK (though  not meagre) breakfast of a wholewheat pitta stuffed with cheese and tomato, and two coffees. Of course I'm going out to lunch but you see what I mean about the best intentions. I will not eat the bread, I will not eat the bread....

So in a Bridget Jones mode of social suicide, I pledge to update as I downsize.

Read Part 2 - Fad Diets.
Read Part 3 - Style Makover.
Part 4 - Happiness Shows.

36 comments:

  1. This might not help, but I think you're just gorgeous the way you are! x

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    1. Thanks, of course it helps but also remember that you don't see me in my swimming costume when we meet in the park! My poor daughter gets less then her fair share of pool time because I don't feel compfortable undressing at the pool. I have to do something about it.

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  2. I am so with you on this one. I have a birthday, a family wedding and a batmitsvah to slim for - and I'm sitting here munchin and munching and munching....

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    1. I'll see you at that family wedding. Let's bot look great!

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    2. It's a deal - and I'll email you that 2 week diet I talked about. The best part about it is the subsequent lifestyle change.
      Actually, I don't know about you - but you've given me another incentive now!!!

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    3. Great, and thanks for the 2 week thing.

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  3. Hi, I would say for DD's sake keep a baggy tshirt on in the pool if you must but go, a fun mum is so important and will teach her confidence. If you can love yourself as you are aiming for better is a game not an ordeal........well I am repeating what I try to do myself (but fail lots). Good luck.

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  4. I'm with you too, and all the above comments. I have put on so much weight since I stopped breastfeeding, and like you, I now feel I have to do something about it, but not a rigid diet, it has to be a lifestyle change. The last time I did something like it, it had such a big impact on my moods. I cut out wheat, diary and sugar ... and it made a massive difference to my waist line ... and for a while, until I introduced those foods again, my PMS went away too. I hope you are going to have a special post for your birthday! Virgos are cool. X

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    1. Thanks OM - so far I've had wheat, dairy and sugar today. The sugar was in the dressing on the salad I had at the restaurant. I think cutting out whole food groups may be too hard for me. I'm going to do my thing and report back in a few days.

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  5. I completely agree with all your comments about diets. The best way is to maintain a healthy lifestyle. If ever I'm trying to lose weight I just cut out fat. Bye bye lattes, cheese, butter etc. Hello cammomile tea, jacket potato with no butter & prawns and salad. Cold grapes straight from the fridge I find an acceptable pudding. Having toast without butter isn't nice but you do get used to it.

    I know you know this, and I don't like exercise either, but it will help. What about brisk walking? - I find that's not so bad with an ipod on!

    Good luck.

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    1. I neet some fat as I eat a lot of cheese and I'm not afraid of fried foods or olive oil on salads. I will try to cut out sugar without being ultra-orthodox about it (i.e. a bit of ketchup is OK). It's hard to brisk walk atm as the temps are in the 90s here and I can't go out in the evenings because of DD. Don't worry, I'll work it out. Thanks for the suggestions.

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  6. I think you look gorgeous, too, Rachel...

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    1. Thanks Rach. I must get a new DVD player so that I can start the program you sent me.

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  7. Oh my God that painting is EXACTLY how my stomach looks.

    I am in a similar position, but what is looming is not a birthday but rather a wedding.

    In February I told myself I would be size 12 for this 10th August wedding, and I soon after went on the Lemonade Diet and promptly went from 18 to 16 (dress size). I thought wow, only 2 more dress sizes to go and MONTHS in which to do so. But early May my employer went into Administration and I dieted on beer and crisps for about a month (my way of coping) and the muffin top an 3 tiered tummy quickly piled on.

    When I put the size 16 jeans on this morning, in order to zip them up, all 3 of my tummies had to go above the waist in a relocation sort of way, so the muffin top looked like a rubber ring (I kid you not).

    Anyway now the wedding is like REALLY close, and as the Lemonade Diet is like a detox and gives me LOADS of energy which at the moment having been made redundant I really need, I AM going to do it again, I just haven't decided which day to start, but you have certainly nudged me and reminded me that first thing this morning (5 a.m. as our flight back from Ireland was 8:15) my intention was to do the diet shortly after getting back.

    But oooops me and Aaron just went to the Supermarket and got bagels, bread, butter, beer, etc.... (oh and crisps)/..... eeek what am I doing?

    And all because I was gutted with the state of the place, and couldn't even say anything to hubby as he is at work.

    I expected more after us being away for 10 days.

    Best of luck with your progress honey....

    Liska x

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    1. Liske you are funny. Do the lemonade thing, clean the house and give the bagels to your hubby. Lovely to hear from you and good luck yourself! :)

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  8. I feel your pain. I am the same I now have 32 days until my holiday and I put on 2lb this week as had a blow out Saturday night and I was due a gain for a while now. I have lost about 7/8 lb since xmas which is piss poor in my book. Like you I have the don't want to be fat and 40/50 mindset and then you think ffs I've been on a diet most of my life when will it end?!! You have to exercise - you just have to. Its very easy to get into and you might enjoy it - just jump in the pool and don't worry about what people are thinking - I'll tell you what they're thinking - all their hang ups about their body. Keep going you can do it - but there's no point you doing something drastic and putting it all back on when you're 50 + 30 days is there? Besides you are going to be 50 for a whole year so technically if you don't lose everything you still have the year of being 50 x

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  9. p.s I never lost any weight while breast feeding!

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    1. Natasha you know you are my wise guru. However long it is taking you have still lost nearly 2 stone since october so you must be doing somethng right. But I understand that frustration about the slowness also. You are right about having the whole year of 50 but I do want to feel a bit better by the actual birthday. Funnily enough, I may be going to do The 1970s Diet as it is the on that speaks to me.

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  10. When Jonny got sick last August, I stayed close to his side, was extremely stressed,ate all the food people brought and then some and didn't move far for 9 months! The result - 15 extra pounds on a small frame and a lot of frustration.Nnow I am really up and moving all day, focused on what I put in my mouth the pounds are coming off VERY SLOWLY. best thing I did was find someone who would weigh me every week- had to answer to them and face the truth of the scale....that outside support made all the difference.Perhaps a friend would do that for you. you can email me every week with your progress if that helps.......
    Gilly

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    1. Gilly you are right about outside help. The trouble is that I'm not really scared enough of any og my friends. I am terrified however of failing on this blog in such apublic way. That's part of the reason I posted this. Just reading the commetns tonight has given me a tremendous kick in the right direction and answering them has kept me out of the fridge.

      Good for you for getting back into the healthy eating mindset - I'd love to read about it on your blog one day. Good luck with your quest. xxx

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  11. I feel your pain! I have been on a constant (yo yo) diet. I loose a few kilo and then gain a few kilo and can't manage to loose more. It is very hard for me stay discplined. I can be good for a while and then totally loose it! I have a 2.5 year old and gained a lot of weight with the pregnancy and have been left with it ever since. It really is mind over matter. I have lost weight in the past, but am jst not managing now.
    And it is so frustrating having no clothes to wear because nothing fits and you don't want to invest in a new wardrobe. Not to mention that it is also so not fun to go shopping when everything is made for sticks!

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    1. Totally agree on all your points. Why not join me and report back on my followup posts every so often. Good luck!

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  12. If I had cheek bones like you do I wouldn't give a toss about my weight. Having said that if we spent a month on my cooking you'd shrink with alarming alacrity. I can come over any time that suits...!

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    1. LOL - I had to go back and check out my cheek bones. If I had your figure I wouldn't give a toss about cheekbones. :~P

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  13. I love that this post has had so many comments - I hope we all spur you on Mrs xxx

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  14. Go for it! I did the same for my 50th and got to nearly where I wanted to be. Felt bloody good! After a 2 week holiday I'm now back to where I was last last September....and my bloated face would give yours a run for it's money!! But, I'm back on track now and determined.

    I will not drink the wine.... I will not drink the wine!!

    xx Jazzy

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    1. *Sighs* it's a never ending battle isn't it? But that birthday date is important to feel good about so you did good.

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  15. I think as we get older it slips on so much more easily and I always blamed mine on not having a man in my bed, so I didnt really notice. Then I got a man in my bed and contentment set in! I try not to call it a losing battle and with your mindset I hold out much more hope for you X

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    1. You are right about age not helping. As for my mindset - I think it's more that I've backed myself into a corner by going public like this and woud be so embarrassed if I didn't follow it through. A sort of own-goal name and shame.

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  16. I try not to think about it... I don't have a pair of scales and try not to look in the mirror. But my clothes give me away. I am with you on this battle.. it seems to get harder to get it off (it was my 50th last year) but diets I find are the only sure way to put weight on (in the long term). Think about what you're eating, eat slowly, stop when you're full and keep active. So simple, yet so hard!

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    1. You're right about just not overeating - so simple, yet so hard! And I'm beginning to agree with you about diets too.

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  17. I'm the 'we'. You know I have been a tad (ha ha) up and down with my loss and then give up and then start again and I must vget a grip too. I am going on a very important trip on 6th Oct and I simply must be slimmer for all the right and non-selfish reasons.

    I am routing for you Mrs.

    Mich x

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  18. Thanks Mich. I'm hoping this rather public display of desperation will make me do something about it. Good luck for October (and forever).

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  19. Keep on working, great job!

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