tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post8190166127545100629..comments2024-01-15T12:17:49.418+02:00Comments on Midlife Singlemum: Ladies Who Lu...mpect 3 - Unexpectedly ElusiveRachel Selbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-74576191308975262512012-03-18T10:39:13.435+02:002012-03-18T10:39:13.435+02:00Oh the role reversal issues sound so familiar and ...Oh the role reversal issues sound so familiar and are more than probably right. Going by my own experiences, restored friendships never go back to 'normal' they start afresh with slightly changed rules. Sad to read that you are now both angry with each other, not nice but in fact you are still sharing! Follow your heart and hopefully it will tell you when the time is right to make the first move (you are the rock after all). Hug xMumB / @mumboshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04028202984783421119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-41905697581022561932012-03-18T10:30:05.794+02:002012-03-18T10:30:05.794+02:00Will do - and someone else asked me to pass on her...Will do - and someone else asked me to pass on her support and say that she knows this behaviour so well from when her father had cancer.Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-89072814935191494692012-03-18T06:19:02.723+02:002012-03-18T06:19:02.723+02:00Hi Midlife,
Pls thank Esther and Gillian for their...Hi Midlife,<br />Pls thank Esther and Gillian for their supportive comments on facebook in my name (Dancing).<br />Cheers xDancingInTheRainnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-86776875022917245492012-03-18T06:11:15.360+02:002012-03-18T06:11:15.360+02:00Hi MumB,
Thanks. Someone suggested to me that she...Hi MumB,<br />Thanks. Someone suggested to me that she is angry with me and can't cope because for 30 years I have been her 'rock' and I have suddenly let her down and finding fault with me (for being too unpredictable) 'legitimises' (to herself) her selfish behaviour. She has another friend to whom she has been her 'rock' for years - and as far as I am aware she was very supportive to her when she had cancer. So in this case I think she was just carrying on in her normal supportive role. It was suggested that in my case she couldn't cope with the role reversal issue - rather than having an issue about the cancer itself. (She's a real hyperchondriac (sp?) and loved discussing the ins and outs with me in great detail. She had queation after question about the treatments, my feelings, etc etc.) I feel like sending the text u syuggezsted but couldn't cope with a second rejection. And also - does she deserve one, after upsetting me so much when i was so ill? Maybe i should write what you said (which is true) but then add: guess what? i'm actually still alive. This would reassure her on the one hand that things are back to normal with me (me worrying about her) and b) the slight sarcasm would show that i'm not quite a doormat to be trod upon. But then that might be perceived as a sign of unpredictability wouldn't it? Catch 22.DancingInTheRainnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-84254913171008041072012-03-18T05:46:31.638+02:002012-03-18T05:46:31.638+02:00Thanks Ju - that's exactly how I feel.
And I...Thanks Ju - that's exactly how I feel. <br /><br />And I'm doing my best to learn the new steps....DancingInTheRainnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-79269963929403344562012-03-18T05:43:17.411+02:002012-03-18T05:43:17.411+02:00Thanks Natasha,
You are right about cutting loose...Thanks Natasha,<br /><br />You are right about cutting loose - but I still find it so unbelievable and upsetting that she would be so selfish. Just as you couldn't believe that you would act any differently to the way you are acting, I can't believe that she has acted the way she has.<br />Cutting loose here though would only be emotionally because she has made the physical cut already.DancingInTheRainnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-51431721500858387162012-03-18T05:30:47.439+02:002012-03-18T05:30:47.439+02:00Thanks Midlife - and for your special support too....Thanks Midlife - and for your special support too. <br /><br />Actually, I thought this friend was in the group....DancingInTheRainnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-21633420650743886362012-03-15T16:34:59.861+02:002012-03-15T16:34:59.861+02:00So sad that you feel your friend has let you down....So sad that you feel your friend has let you down. She obviously can't express her own feelings to you or to herself and that is sad too. My sister has terminal cancer and I've three other siblings and we are all dealing with the emotional and the practical help we can give her and her family in very different ways. I'm glad you are getting a lot of support from everyone else. I too would lament a lost friend though, perhaps one day just a text to your friend saying "I hope you are OK, I really miss you" will help. Stay positive xMumB / @mumboshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04028202984783421119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-31012694747957579402012-03-15T13:00:20.647+02:002012-03-15T13:00:20.647+02:00Crikey. I'm not surprised you can't get o...Crikey. I'm not surprised you can't get over the appauling behavious of the so-called friend. I would be unbelivably hurt and fuming if I was in your place and a previously trusted friend had let me down so badly. Good look with your new dance, I hope the steps suit you and are easy to learn.Juhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17780557093888139653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-83780430812162500592012-03-15T11:53:21.045+02:002012-03-15T11:53:21.045+02:00My friend has breast cancer grade 3 and is current...My friend has breast cancer grade 3 and is currently undergoing her chemo - we've known each other for 20 years there is NO way I would not phone her most days, visit once a week (we live 50 min drive away) and I have a toddler and 2 at primary. Sometimes you just have to cut lose old friends - I often have a clear out, a cull if you will - I have no time for people that only care for themselves and are unreliable. xthe 1970s diethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04657242520631105635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-62289544118719166222012-03-15T09:42:18.969+02:002012-03-15T09:42:18.969+02:00It's often surprising who will jump in to help...It's often surprising who will jump in to help when you need it.... and of course, there are always those you would have expected to be there, who are not. That's why groups of close friends evolve - sad sometimes and surprisingly nice at others. Good vent btw.Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.com