tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post8369576147064698159..comments2024-01-15T12:17:49.418+02:00Comments on Midlife Singlemum: Unavailable And Not SorryRachel Selbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-38934730613849806012011-10-27T22:13:43.722+02:002011-10-27T22:13:43.722+02:00Thanks Nicola - in fact we have sort of drifted aw...Thanks Nicola - in fact we have sort of drifted away from some friendships and into those more accepting of our needs. It has been a natural progression almost. Along with not phoning the insensitive ones :)Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-58382201767446460512011-10-27T22:03:23.464+02:002011-10-27T22:03:23.464+02:00I read your post and have found myself in similar ...I read your post and have found myself in similar situations of being totally flexible when younger but cannot be so now with a 6yr old. But it was your comment to another poster "I think it's the unfairness of all those years of fitting in and not receiving the same respect" which so resonated. I am so shocked by how old longterm friends can be so selfish. I will lose them and hope to replace with kinder new friends.Nicolanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-87454078959426173992011-09-22T17:39:36.821+03:002011-09-22T17:39:36.821+03:00And it certainly does help Rosa!And it certainly does help Rosa!Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-61386575797782786242011-09-22T13:46:40.923+03:002011-09-22T13:46:40.923+03:00I think you are soooo right and have every right t...I think you are soooo right and have every right to rant.Rosahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16072737507245911501noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-6222677394580843152011-07-11T18:38:05.670+03:002011-07-11T18:38:05.670+03:00I think you are right M Along. I have just about c...I think you are right M Along. I have just about come to the conclusion that this one will probably peter out. It's a bit of a hsam ethough after so many years.Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-67767773202065899502011-07-11T16:38:27.018+03:002011-07-11T16:38:27.018+03:00We have had similar things with friends moving in ...We have had similar things with friends moving in different ways - in the end I have let relationships where there is no give and take gradually disappear<br /><br />True friends understand and accomodate, others just make life harder and its better to get rid of<br /><br />You are not the one being unreasonable hereMuddling Alonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04702217530704657676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-21760362346044990002011-07-09T10:17:36.058+03:002011-07-09T10:17:36.058+03:00Trollmamma - what can I say except, absolutely! Th...Trollmamma - what can I say except, absolutely! Thanks for that.Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-88158545346244303422011-07-09T09:02:51.435+03:002011-07-09T09:02:51.435+03:00I completely understand how you feel, and I am ann...I completely understand how you feel, and I am annoyed with your friend on your behalf.<br /><br />FYI, even when one does have a partner, and has younger children when friends' children are older, it isn't always easy. There are occasions when we are left off the planning list because our children are comparatively younger -- and therefore more hard work. This is, of course, regardless of the fact that others in the circle would shlep their offspring wherever and whenever in the past whether it was convenient/desirable or not for everyone else there. And this, in turn, on reflection, may well have contributed to the situation in which I sometimes find myself, that you describe so accurately and so eloquently. For some people, the world only exists as far as extends their personal space, and gentle (or even not-so-gentle) reminders that the situations of others sometimes differ are required exercises in democracy from time to time.<br /><br />Chin up!TrollMammahttp://pltrollmamma.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-45512075814924746422011-07-08T18:50:03.034+03:002011-07-08T18:50:03.034+03:00Hey jane! Others were also having problems so I ch...Hey jane! Others were also having problems so I changed to the pop-up window. This seems to work better.<br /><br />Someone wrote last week (sorry blogger-pal, I can't remember who) - I'm a mummy now, don't mess with me. I feel a bit like that, and I think my friend was shocked as she's used to me being 'available'. Hmm feels OK :)Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-4810822002956799832011-07-08T17:37:59.965+03:002011-07-08T17:37:59.965+03:00Yay!!! It let me post a comment! I am so excited,...Yay!!! It let me post a comment! I am so excited, I shall leave another one! xxxExmoorjanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09230395732150659356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-45010865819246913262011-07-08T17:37:34.925+03:002011-07-08T17:37:34.925+03:00Ah hon...I think you were heroic in the way you fi...Ah hon...I think you were heroic in the way you fitted in with other people's children when they were young...and you absolutely deserve to have that same consideration returned. Toddlers are difficult little beasts who have very specific needs which, for everyone's sanity, need to be met. <br />Do what you need to do. People forget VERY quickly. :( xxxxxxExmoorjanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09230395732150659356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-84257599640859990852011-07-08T17:17:37.691+03:002011-07-08T17:17:37.691+03:00Jax - I know, and you'll go anyway because you...Jax - I know, and you'll go anyway because you have to.... I hope you are pleasantly surprised.<br /><br />FBStuff - it's also amazing how some people assume that wa all have the same set of variables - so if they did it, why can't I? Infuriating!Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-32549602516531111452011-07-08T17:06:52.826+03:002011-07-08T17:06:52.826+03:00That would be a nightmare! Since I have had my bab...That would be a nightmare! Since I have had my baby, my social life has totally changed. Luckily, a lot of my friends (I only have a small circle anyways) have their own children. We don't see each other as much, and I see the ones without children hardly at all. They seem to have fallen out of the circle. I am slowly gaining new ones, and they all have small chilren. I can't imagine trying to justify my new social hours to someone who thinks they know what they are talking about because they have older kids. I hate how free women feel to just spout off any old thing in your face or behind your back without stopping to consider if they sound reeeeally biotch-like.M_Massiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09353961507254330355noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-87557987897619711772011-07-08T16:49:17.464+03:002011-07-08T16:49:17.464+03:00I had this conversation with my OH the other day a...I had this conversation with my OH the other day about family members who were expecting us to drive to Devon and all cram into one room with a 3 year old and a 10-month-old to attend a weekend wedding. We have to go, but it's going to be a total and utter nightmare for me and I'm dreading it. xxJacqui Paterson https://www.blogger.com/profile/17315907330389903524noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-64595418407275350542011-07-08T15:35:48.474+03:002011-07-08T15:35:48.474+03:00Thanks Liska. I did explain some of it to her and ...Thanks Liska. I did explain some of it to her and she understood, and we got past it. However, sometimes when it's all over you still find you are sitting with it on your chest. I think it's the unfairness of all those years of fitting in and not receiving the same respect.Midlife Singlemumhttp://midlifesinglemum.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-90717030226594619982011-07-08T15:28:35.286+03:002011-07-08T15:28:35.286+03:00Oh God I read every word and I think you have been...Oh God I read every word and I think you have been fair and a great friend. Now you are still being fair but a great mother too. Don't give in to the pressure and try and find a way of saying all this to her xxxNew Mum Onlinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14285584922202683960noreply@blogger.com