tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post1463195001287928025..comments2024-01-15T12:17:49.418+02:00Comments on Midlife Singlemum: Why I Like International Women's DayRachel Selbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-52080302356204354362017-03-08T14:32:15.969+02:002017-03-08T14:32:15.969+02:00Yes but that's not Women's day its Family ...Yes but that's not Women's day its Family day. Women's day should not become about being carers and home-makers. It's about the choice to do this or go for the 100% career or anything in between. Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-63685186564349222592016-03-09T13:14:39.211+02:002016-03-09T13:14:39.211+02:00I'd also like to celebrate men who put their f...I'd also like to celebrate men who put their families above their careers; this is for me the most important thing in life and should be seen as that.LLM Callinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17199375981896229914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-78422821740090850692013-03-11T08:47:55.877+02:002013-03-11T08:47:55.877+02:00And God bless all men who are willing to test trad...And God bless all men who are willing to test tradition and do what is necessary for the good of their families. I am totally for equality in choosing the carer in a family - it should not based on gender but on more practical criteria. Thank you for your comment. Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-17971196309887879642013-03-11T01:06:19.354+02:002013-03-11T01:06:19.354+02:00Can I have a quick word here, Please! I am a hous...Can I have a quick word here, Please! I am a house husband after being made redundant 20 years ago. My wife worked until six months ago when she took voluntary redundancy when local government cuts took their toll where she worked. She decided to return to work when our son was born to both criticism and delight among her fellow workers. Strangely, it was the much younger staff who criticised. " I couldn't leave my baby with someone else". That 'someone else' was her mother. I was made redundant twenty years ago and after fiddling about with low paid temporary work. (My wife had earned more than me anyway) I decided to do the home care, cooking, cleaning, school run, by bike as it happened with a run along the sea front as a diversion. I was looked on by some women as unusual and soft. I was doing women's work as one woman actually said. Later I looked after my father in law who became seriously ill after mother in law died suddenly. The care became very personal just before his death. I also helped my sisters and poorly mother care for my own father who also died after four years of Alzheimer's and later my mother before her sudden death. (More women's work I was told, again, by a woman). My wife's ageing aunt required increasing care and as my wife could not do this due to her work I again stepped in with increasing care leading to eventual responsibility as her heart and kidney infections made her more debilitated, her dementia caused problems as well as worsening arthritis. I did all her cooking cleaning and hospital appointments of which there were many. We eventually found a care home and I did most of the visiting. I did this all to take the stress of caring from her shoulders. <br /><br />During all of this I discovered that many other men were finding it their lot because of marriage breakups or male unemployment. We men are becoming primary carers and I still hear women talking of 'women's work when confronted by men doing it. As for men not having to deal with issues at work please consider what my wife had to go through in her job as cuts began to bite. Name calling, laughing at someones misfortune, a show of friendliness to a face then talking derogatory behind their back and overall bitchiness and backstabbing as people jostled for position, all women.<br /><br />As Mother's day draws to an end I thank my wife for the effort and financial stress she went through in providing for our son. His architectural school gets no funding from the government and we or should I say, my wife has paid it all including necessary trips abroad, his working in China and costs of materials. She has sweated during the nights with worry at times but our son has done a marvelous job of his studies and the beautiful words on his 'Mothers Day' card says it all. Some women think that men can't do "WOMEN'S" work but we can and well.<br /><br />There are some amazing women in the world but some are poor specimens to hold up as women.<br /><br />God bless all women, mothers or not and single or not but only those who deserve it. Joconhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08040709667556329005noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-6590839067400598732013-03-09T10:56:15.465+02:002013-03-09T10:56:15.465+02:00I am genuinely pleased that your experience has be...I am genuinely pleased that your experience has been more positive :) I think we're just going to have to agree to disagree xxLooking for Blue Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10010049814419812468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-7945242423877261242013-03-09T02:17:42.852+02:002013-03-09T02:17:42.852+02:00I agree that mothers who are the primary carers at...I agree that mothers who are the primary carers at home are not respected at work. I chose not to work in such an environment. I'm poorer but happier for it. That element of society doesn't define me. <br /><br />Government cuts are harder as you cannot opt out of being a single mother or a carer. I get it that it is usually the mother (i.e. the woman) who cannot and will not walk away but I think the "crime" here is being weak and vulnerable rather than being a woman - pensioners, and the disabled are also targeted.<br /><br />You are not a burden because you cannot pay your way atm. You are part of a good (if sometimes inadequate) system that we all approve of and nobody wants to abolish. The burdens are those who abuse the system, not you. <br /><br />I understand that you've been/are discriminated against. The debate is whether it's a gender thing or a disregard for the weak and vulnerable. This doesn't make it any better for you I know - sorry. Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-76533583070147991092013-03-09T00:09:20.659+02:002013-03-09T00:09:20.659+02:00Great post and I nearly feel the need to write ano...Great post and I nearly feel the need to write another post in reply! My experience of having children has been about control and also about being regarded as a burden to society by some because I am no longer paying my way, even though I am now working part time. Many/most of the cuts to services and benefits in Ireland have affected women and children, which reflects societies view of their importance in my mind. I had great flexibility from my last (female) boss, but I always remember that my clients must have thought that I had poor health as they were always told that I was sick not my children when I had to take a day off. And they weren't told that I worked part-time: I was just always 'in meetings' in late afternoon. Doesn't that tell you a lot?Looking for Blue Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10010049814419812468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-85343194677245588862013-03-08T16:56:32.336+02:002013-03-08T16:56:32.336+02:00Good point. Although I like the idea that all wome...Good point. Although I like the idea that all women of the world are united in this rather than it's us doing it for them, which could be seen as a bit condescending. Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-692517788030253147.post-68490321202330424442013-03-08T16:44:37.781+02:002013-03-08T16:44:37.781+02:00I don't think that because I'm a woman I ...I don't think that because I'm a woman I have been discriminated against. If I have wanted something in life, I have always gone after it. I have had nothing handed to me on a plate. Everything I have achieved I have done through my own efforts. I have always ploughed my own furrow and that didn't include children. Not through choice, but I was never with the right man at the right time. If International Women's Day can help raise awareness of the plight of women in developing countries, then I am all for it! Personally, I think that it is for them, not us. We all have the choice to follow our own paths, they don't. That's the difference.Countryidyllhttp://www.countryidyll.co.uknoreply@blogger.com