Lockdown Meltdown And Losing The Plot

The almond tree
in the school vegetable garden has blossomed.
We have not blossomed.

Yesterday I got up bright and early and ready to start the lockdown routine. I went to my school to collect all my books. DD had been to her school on Saturday evening to clear out her locker. (Yes, they told us to take EVERYTHING! What does that tell you about the thinking here? Kids were signed out once they had cleared their lockers.)

I didn't go to the bank on the way home because I was carrying a heavy load of books, so that's still to do, but not today.

DD was still in pyjamas when I got home, and watching You Tube. Her bedroom looked like a bomb had hit it with her bed unmade and all her school books everywhere.

I calmly continued with my planned schedule by setting up homework for my school pupils. Then I smugly filled in my Day Book about the morning's activities and went to make lunch. This is where it all started to fall apart.

DD didn't want any lunch and insisted on taking a bag of crisps instead. Later she came back for some cake. I said that I'm not buying any more sugar things because she eats them instead of proper food and it makes her irritable off-the-wall crazy mad. She screamed at me that I was talking rubbish. (She didn't see the irony.) She stomped off, I ate too much to calm my nerves. She hated me. I hated myself. And that was lunch on day 1.

In the afternoon I insisted that we watch a documentary together. We chose one about the history of astrology. She sat on her phone saying that it was boring. I was totally fascinated and spent the rest of the day watching more and more programmes about the link between astrology and religion. Then I fell asleep on the sofa.

DD did do some painting in the afternoon but she refused to enter into the spirit of the day book at all.

Day 2. I vowed to do better. We got up and I got dressed. DD: "Why? It's just a waste of clothes!" I had no answer.

At 09.00 DD had to sign in for school with an emoji on the class whatsapp expressing how she was feeling. They have 'classes' until 12.30 every day with the teachers available on email, whatsapp and phones. The first lesson this morning was English so we were cool.

I had set up a laptop for her on the dining table but luckily today's work was all in notebooks and on the phone. Others are reporting that so many kids are on the educational websites that they're all crashing. Other families are trying to juggle one computer amongst several kids and working at home parents. It's a jungle out there.

Next DD had geography and I had to set up two classes of work online in lieu of my lessons in college tomorrow. DD didn't understand what she had to do and neither did I - 6th grade Hebrew and all. She had a meltdown. I called one of her friends to ask. She screamed at me that I was embarrassing her. Now that I knew what it was about, I wrote down some reasons why we still need to save water despite desalination. She screamed at me that I don't know anything. I burst into tears. I wrote to the class teacher that I don't think we can do this.

Eventually we came up with a good rhyming couplet to encourage saving water and used google to check our Hebrew spelling. Part of the problem was seeing everyone else sending in great jingles. DD crumpled under the double pressure of writing something and then having everyone see it.

DD was finally happy. I had to eat a packet of crisps.

Then came Tenach (Bible Studies). This is not only in Hebrew, it's in biblical Hebrew (think Shakespeare for EFL students) and there's a website involved. We gave up.

I've not done any of my work but I'm exhausted and I've got a headache and I'm still a bit teary and fragile from the whole experience. I'm blogging to get it off my chest and then I'm going to find out more about Noah's Ark, Moses, Mithras, The Budha, Joseph and Jesus all being based on Pagan myths about the sun and the stars.

I'm done for the day, I'm done in, and it's only 11.30 am. We'll try again tomorrow.

No School Reality Sets In

Life was easier when this was school work.

Today was only the first day of no school and Friday is quasi-weekend so it doesn't really count. Thus, writing advice about how to deal with no school perhaps seems a tad premature. However, I've something to say and a platform so I'm going to say it. And when the UK and US close their schools, maybe someone will remember this post.

Last night DD was dancing around the apartment with joy, chatting to her friends on whatsapp, and generally on a high, not believing her luck.

I admit that I was quite liking the idea of all that time at home to pursue my own interests without daily work obligations, even though I'm very happy in my jobs. But then reality set in. We will have obligations.

It very quickly became apparent that the children and students will have online work to complete. Teachers with little knowledge of how to create online courses, are suddenly required to put assignments, quizzes, lessons, presentations, etc... on various education platforms that they are not familiar with and the children/students do not know how to navigate.

Read this article. https://anygoodthing.com/2020/03/12/please-do-a-bad-job-of-putting-your-courses-online/?fbclid=IwAR191aF-odPx9L6PrGe03ACmyjKPFyDC__xuWpZAfn9pV8qfj7cZ5HD5_ns

It explains exactly what I was thinking. Not all pupils have access to computers, printers, cameras, and any other tech devices. Some of them are working on their phones which we all know is inconvenient and frustrating to say the least. Most of them are sharing a computer with other pupils, students and parents working from home. Devices go wrong or break, and then they're even more handicapped.

Some of them may be looking after younger siblings or helping to care for sick relatives. They may not have a quiet place to work or a parent who can help them. Scheduled meet-up lessons are a no-no.

Some of them may be stuck at home with people with anger issues or who are abusive. Some children's only respite is when they escape to school. Some children only get their square meals provided for them by the school. There may be emotional issues that prevent school work from getting done. Don't expect them to work to deadlines.

DD's teacher sent a beautiful graphic of a schedule where pupils could write in what they did each day against a list of eight things: morning routine, something educational, physical exercise, reading, Pesach cleaning (spring cleaning), screen time, a family activity, and evening routine.

Then there was a meal schedule where you could write in whose turn it is to help prepare the meal, cut the vegetables, lay the table, clear away and do the dishes. Good for a family of four or more, not so relevant to our family of two. We just do it all together. I just do it.

I think it's a great idea in theory but every family is different. We are not good at sticking to schedules or having routines. We are a very laid back family. We fulfill our obligations on the fly and rely heavily on the panic monster. We waste hours just hanging out. We look forward to Friday afternoon and then 'POOF!' the weekend is gone before we even did anything. We're not tech savvy and we're not crafty. Being expats, we don't even know the language that well. (DD was born here but we live an English life.)

I dread what's coming. I'm already composing my opting out letter in my head. Home schooling would be a disaster for us. Maybe we'll have to change. I always wanted to be highly disciplined and self-motivated but I know myself and unfortunately for her, DD has learned my lifestyle well.

I too have to set work for my pupils and students. I'm feeling the pressure as all heads of departments seem to think we'll have it up and running by Monday - all seven classes in my case! (Luckily one of my courses is already online).

I'm going to think about it very carefully. I intend for us to go to the park every day and use the work-out equipment, I would like us to watch a tv documentary every day on whatever takes DD's fancy, I'd like to take up the recorder again but I don't think DD will go for it. We will definitely do the spring cleaning. Maybe cook together, except that she only like pasta with cheese (no sauce), tuna salad, and sausages and chips.

I'll let you know what happens.

Israel Today In Corona Times

Because I forgot to take a photo of the bus. 

Israel has banned all inside gatherings of more than 100 people.

All incoming air passengers from abroad are compelled by law to be in self-isolation for 14 days. This has to be in a private residence, not in a hotel. Tourists are being encouraged to leave asap. 

One of my colleagues is supposed to be getting married next week with a big wedding planned. It's not going to happen as planned, that's for sure. 

On the buses the first one or two rows behind the driver are cordoned off so that no one can sit behind the driver and cough or even breathe on him. Taxis that are working are driving with all the windows open. 

I now know people in quarantine who I spoke to face to face before they entered self-isolation. I have made deliveries to friends in quarantine and left them at the door. My neighbour came back from abroad and is in quarantine so we are going to have coffee dates on our neighbouring (though not adjoining) balconies.

In fact tens of thousands are in self-isolation, possibly up to 1% of the country. This includes whole schools and Synagogue communities.

The cashiers in the supermarket are wearing surgical gloves. Apparently at one supermarket, they are taking everyone's temperature before they let them in. (Rami Levy in Jerusalem).

No parents are allowed to enter the schools, only students and staff. 

Another colleague was going to America with her family of six to finalize the children's US citizenship. It's an enormously expensive trip and they are not a family who ever travel abroad normally. They have cancelled and will possibly recoup half their money. 

On the bright side, Israel produces enough fruit, vegetables, dairy, eggs and chicken, to be permanently self sufficient. And we have enough grain, sugar and beef to last the next six months, for everyone. (I don't know about toilet paper but there seems to be plenty in the supermarkets I've been to.)

Despite this, people are stockpiling for the next three-four weeks. We're not worried about shortages but rather that we may be told to go into self-isolation immediately. All it takes is for one person who was at synagogue, one colleague, or one child at school to test positive. This happened to a friend of mine. You get a notice and there's no just popping out to the supermarket before you start. It's immediate with a penalty of up to 7 years in jail for not complying.  

I changed a coffee date for tomorrow morning to a going for a walk date. Or if it's raining we'll drink coffee at my place. Yes, it has got to the stage where I don't feel comfortable sitting in a cafe. Theatres are closed. 100 hotels are closed and 100 more due to close on Sunday. 

Many businesses are now fully working from homes for the next month. Others have enforced unpaid leave on their workers because e.g. in the tourist industry, there are no clients.

People are already reluctant to spend money because of the economy. Many families live pay-cheque to pay-cheque and have hefty mortgages. Obviously this has a knock on effect and will only get worse. 

And I'm pleased that this country is taking it so seriously because I read horrific descriptions about what's happening in Northern Italy atm. I won't post links as even in the midst of all this, I still have this aversion to being a panic monger. But you can google it and find out for yourself. 

Breaking news is that they may be canceling all schools and colleges until after Passover (Pesach) - April 19th. The Ministry of Education is pushing for it and they are discussing with the government now.

UPDATE: SCHOOLS CLOSED UNTIL AFTER PESACH. DD is dancing around the apartment with joy. (Don't tell her that they'll probably take three weeks off the summer holidays.) Other families are freaking out. One good thing is that the closure doesn't include kindergartens or special ed.

A Day In The Life Of Corona Times

Miss Amy Miles' Dolls' House, the V&A, 1000 pieces.

Schools in Israel have a three day holiday for the festival of Purim. I've written about this before. It's our Carnival, Mardi Gras, dressing up, parades, exchanging gifts of food, a festive meal and listening to the story of Queen Esther (not necessarily in that order of importance).

The actual festival is tonight and tomorrow in most of Israel, and the Jewish diaspora, but tomorrow night and Wednesday in walled cities like Jerusalem (even though most of the city is now outside the ancient walls). Today was a fast day - most Jewish festivals have a nearby fast. It seems that our sages knew a thing or two about the benefits of intermittent fasting centuries before it was a 'thing'. Fast days are usually half days (meaning we finish a couple of hours early) in schools but a couple of years ago the Education Ministry accidently printed it as a full holiday on their school calendars. It was a mistake but since then it's been a full day off. LOL.

First port of call today was the bank to deposit a cheque that would normally have waited until I was passing. However, one of my colleagues is in self-isolation after returning from France and after being at work for a couple of days. The directive was retroactive so home she went for the 14 day duration. Another friend returned from the US on Friday and popped over yesterday. We chatted in my home. Then this evening it was announced that all travelers returning from abroad have to self quarantine for 14 days, but not retroactively so he's ok. All it would take is for one person I've been with, or a student or teacher from my school or college, to test positive for corona and I'd be confined to my apartment for two weeks. So the cheque needed to be deposited today.

On the way home I went to the supermarket and stocked up on more food. It was the little local supermarket so more expensive than the big one and not much choice of tinned foods. I may go to the big shop tomorrow morning. I did see a good deal on toilet rolls so I got another couple of packets. We now have enough toilet paper for about three months. You can call it panic buying but actually it's sensible because there's no just popping out once you get the notice. You could be arrested... and you could be responsible for killing someone.

People out and about were greeting each other by knocking elbows. Social distance doncha know. It's all a bit Dunkirk spirit for most of us but terrifying for those with chronic conditions or with compromised immunity. This is why we're taking it seriously and doing as we're told.

Another friend came in from Switzerland yesterday and is under 'house arrest' as Switzerland was on the list before the worldwide ban came into effect. She's a jigsaw puzzle enthusiast so I took two big puzzles round to her house. She buzzed open the front door from upstairs and I left them just inside the hall.

Tomorrow night we're going to a Purim party to hear the Story of Esther and enjoy a festive meal with friends. Special readings are being streamed and broadcast on the radio for those in quarantine.

Five Things I'm Doing In Corona Times

About 2 months' supply for two people.
I may get one more tomorrow.

Israel is a small country with relatively easy border controls, mainly because we are officially at war or, at best, at cold peace, with all our neighours so we never had open borders and always have strong security at air and sea ports. With the threat of the corona pandemic, the Health Ministry is playing it safe. Quite drastic measures are in place and enforced by law.

There is list of about 15 countries in Eastern Asia, Europe, and the Middle East from which tourists are barred entry (plane loads have been sent back after Israeli citizens disembark). Israelis returning from these countries are, by law, required to go into self-isolation for 14 days.

All gatherings of over 5,000 people are canceled, including the Jerusalem Marathon. All international conferences have been canceled. We are advised not to travel abroad unnecessarily and most business trips have been canceled. Anyone returning from anywhere abroad is forbidden from gatherings of more than 100 people for 14 days.

Between 50,000 and 80,000 Israelis are now in self-isolation. You have to register and they come in hazmat suits to test you. Facebook is full of offers to do supermarket runs and leave supplies outside front doors. We got a letter from DD's school saying that whilst no pupils or teachers are in quarantine atm, some family members are. This is also true of the school where I teach. Some schools have officially closed until after Pesach/Easter but with online lessons and assignments.

A tourist from NYC has the virus and anyone who was in the same place or on the same buses has to go into quarantine. This tourist visited supermarkets and coffee shops in my neighbourhood.

Reactions to Health Ministry directives range from blind panic - mostly from people with real reason to fear they or their family getting sick, or those who tend towards hysterics anyway so if it weren't for corona, they'd be hysterical about something else - to total blase disregard -  from healthy families of the middle age range who've been medically lucky so far. And of course every emotion in between.

A wise friend wrote on facebook -
Can people please acknowledge that management of Corona is a really complicated problem. It requires expertise in mathematical modeling, immunology, economics, epidemiology, psychology and international relations.
Nothing that the health ministry is doing is 'stupid'.
I shared it.

My take on the rigid steps taken in Israel is that they're pitching it to keep us scared enough to take it seriously but not so drastic as to spark mass panic. I also believe that corona isn't going to just disappear, up to half of us will get it, most of us will recover as we do a mild case of any virus, but that it will be easier if it peaks in the warmer weather, and after the flu season has finished.

In the next few weeks, either world travel will be severely curtailed, or corona will be so ubiquitous that it won't make any difference and travel will resume as in normal times.

In light of all this, I too am taking some precautions. I don't fear us catching corona because we are not in the vulnerable age-group nor do we have co-morbid medical conditions. However, I do fear getting it and being responsible for passing it on to people who are vulnerable. To glibly say, "wash your hands and carry on," is, imo, ignoring the very real fears of those who have compromised immunity or children with chronic illnesses. For them it is a terrifying situation.

1. Everyone, including us, who enters our apartment has to wash their hands with soap before touching anything. I'm trying not to touch my face when out but it's surprising how many times one does it without thinking.

2. We are not shaking hands, hugging or kissing even our closest friends.

3. If you were in contact with someone who tests positive to the virus, you will immediately be under enforced quarantine. It makes sense to stock up with at least two weeks of non-perishable food and toiletries. (Btw, shortages in the shops are not due to supplies running out, they are because the supply chain isn't fast enough to respond to immediate demand. They make enough toilet paper for months in advance - it just has to reach the shops. And when this is over, we'll all have enough to withstand any catching up period.)

4. We are trying to eat as healthy a diet as possible with lots of fruit and vegetables. My view is the healthier you start, the healthier you'll stay.

5. We're not making any decisions about future travel plans until the last possible moment. And then we'll weigh up all the available information. (Obviously this may be decided for us.)

Corona Votes - Israel Elections

Yesterday was the third general election in Israel in 11 months. The problem is that we keep getting a tie and neither of the two big parties are able to form a majority coalition of 61 seats in the Knesset. 

In a nutshell, the big left of centre party, Blue White headed by Benny Gantz, are willing to form a unity government with the big right of centre party, Likud, but not with Binyamin Netanyahu (Bibi) as its leader. If Bibi were to step back the unity government would be free of the extreme right and the extreme religious parties and a lot of people would be very happy. And a lot of people would be very unhappy.

A relatively small party in the middle, headed by Avigdor Leiberman, could go either way as he's right wing but religiously secular. His main condition is that he also won't work with Bibi. He's the Kingmaker. Whichever side he chooses will get their 61 seat majority. 

One good thing that came out of this election is that many of the very small, theme-park, parties didn't bother, or couldn't afford, to go a third round and many of the smaller parties joined together. For example, the Arab parties all clubbed together and will be the third strongest party in the Knesset. Usually there are a few parties that get one, two or three, possibly five seats and the left wing has to negotiate with all of them separately, or not bother with some of them as they're not needed. Now they have proper strength in numbers and real clout. 

The woman I voted for last time, Orli Levi, didn't pass the threshold with enough votes for her social justice party. This time she teamed up with other left-wing parties and she will be in the Knesset. I'm pleased she'll be in because although I wanted to vote for her again. I couldn't bring myself to vote for one of her team mates. So the merging parties thing could go either way. Otoh, she was never totally committed to her team so she could be the defector in a Likud government - which would be a good thing. As she cannot change the overall leadership, she could at least be in the governement. 

It's 08.30 on Tuesday morning. Exit polls are predicting Blue White to get 33 seats while Likud is expected to get 37. However, the left wing block is still bigger and they could form a government with 62 seats to Likud's 59. But if Likud do get 59 they could poach a couple of people form other parties by offering the defectors a good deal. And, imo, this is what will happen. Of course the exit polls are not the results. They are estimates. The final results will only be in on Thursday morning and here's why.

We don't have postal or proxy votes for ordinary citizens. Only diplomats, other emissaries, and the on-duty military are allowed to vote away from home. For everyone else, either you're here or you're not. They only count these votes if they will make a difference so they don't start until all the other votes are in. 

This year we had special polling stations set up around the country for the 5,700 voters who registered as being in quarantine for the corona virus. These stations were outdoors (luckily the weather was good but there were tents in case of rain), the volunteers all wore hazmat suits, and the voters were told to come wearing masks and surgical gloves.

Last night the vote counters were refusing to count the corona votes but this morning Mada (Magen David Adom - The Red Star of David - our Red Cross) have agreed to count them. (Update at noon, the corona votes are being counted by senior election officials in hazmat suits in a tent.)

In other election news, general election day is a national holiday. In a country without Sundays (kids are in school 6 days/week although adults work only 5 days) and where half the country doesn't travel on Shabbat (Saturday) because of the Jewish sabbath, it is always a day to look forward to, to go out to nature parks or the beach, and to shop. 

In Jerusalem there was free ice-cream at a number of ice-cream parlours if you produced a receipt showing you spent more than 20 shekels shopping. Of course they ran out of the free ice-cream quite quickly but you could still buy some as you're already here. No one was surprised. 

The election campaign has been nasty and even Likud insiders said that their party was held together by hate. President Reuven Rivlin said he was ashamed that it had come to a third election because no one was prepared to work together. Then a friend wrote on facebook that outside her polling station one of the extremely right wing volunteers couldn't get his poster up so the left-wing volunteer helped him. Politics is politics but at the end of the day, Israel is more of a family than a nation.

P.S. And a 71% voluntary turnout isn't bad either.

Oh You'll Never Get To Heaven

Don't pick the flowers

Remember that old camp fire/road trip song? Oh you'll never get to heaven, in an old Ford car, coz an old Ford car, won't go that far (repeat at speed), I ain't gonna grieve my Lord (x3), no more.

Other famous verses, in no particular order, included a Platex bra, a baked bean tin, a ping pong ball, roller skates, a jumbo jet, and a boy scout's knee. And the grande finale... if you get there before I do, just bore a hole and pull me through. Remember? Warning: don't google it, it's too sad. But even so, I admit that we sang it all across Europe more than once.

All this to introduce the concept of getting to Heaven because we watched the series, The Good Place on Netflix. Without giving the whole story away, a group of people find themselves on the way to The Bad Place (Hell) and they don't feel like they deserve to be there. So they try to get into the The Good Place (Heaven).

It all works on a point system. Throughout your life you get points for good deeds and are deducted points for bad behaviour. Try as they might, our group can't get a hold on how the point system works as so many good people are not making into The Good Place. It turns out that no one has got into The Good Place in over 200 years.

Eventually someone examines the files and finds out that in 1700 Tommy picked some flowers for his mother on his way home from work. He got 100 points. In 2015, Jonny brings his mother a bunch a flowers and is deducted 5000 points. What's going on here?

Jonny's flowers came from another country and used up an enormous amount of fossil fuel to get to the shop, they were grown using destructive pesticides which ruined the soil and poisoned surrounding crops, they came wrapped in plastic, he ordered them using his cheap mobile phone which had been made in a factory in China where the workers are exploited, etc... etc...

The whole series is quite good although it does get a bit tedious towards the middle. However, I found this little nugget of a scene fascinating. A brilliant observation that a simple good deed 300 years ago is now a complicated procedure affecting multitudes of people. There are so many factors and variables that it's almost impossible to do a good deed without it originating in sin.

Make your friend a cup of coffee - where did that coffee come from? Milk and sugar - where did the sugar come from and are you feeding her sugar addiction? What about the poor calves and cows who are brutally separated? What about the destructive methane gas from cattle? Give someone a ride - cars are polluting the air and using up fossil fuel. Buy a gift - what's it made of and were did it come from? Call for a chat - who made your mobile phone, in what factory, under what conditions? You can't win.

By the way, I know what you're thinking and though this may be possible in other countries, in Israel it's forbidden to pick wild flowers. We're doomed.