Tuesday Tidbits 6

1
DD: Mummy why doesn't anybody like me? Why doesn't anybody want to be my friend? Why doesn't anybody want to play with me in the playground?
Me (tearing up): I'm sure they do. We'll ask the teacher about it tomorrow.
(We asked the teacher and she said everybody loves DD and she has lots of friends.)
Next night.
DD: Mummy I know everybody loves me and I have lots of friends but why don't they want to play with me in the playground?
(I think this is progress - I think.)




2
I have a problem with genders in Hebrew grammar. It comes (I assume) from being used to an 'a' ending being feminine e.g. Daniel/Daniella, David/Davida, Michael/Michaela, etc... In Hebrew the 'a' is usually the masculine form e.g. at (you, fem.) ata (you, masc.) and aseet (you did, fem.) aseeta (you did, masc.).
DD (in Hebrew): Ma aseeti? (What did I do?)
Me: I don't know, ma aseeta?

DD: DON'T SAY THAT TO ME! I'M NOT A BOY!
Me: Sorry. Ma aseet?
(That told me.)

3
DD (calling from her bed): Mummy why is everybody 5 and just only me is still 4?
Me: Some children are still 4.
DD: Who?
Me: I don't remember, we'll ask the teacher tomorrow.
DD (sobbing): Waaaaah I don't want to be the only one who's 4. Waaaaah.
Me: Go to sleep.

4
Me: Hello Daughter.
DD: I don't want to be a daughter, I want to be a sister.
Me: Can you be a sister without any brothers or sisters?
DD: Yes, of course.
Me: OK. Hello Sister.
DD (smiling): Hello Mummy.

5
DD: I'm so excited I'm going to be 5.
Me: Not for another half a year.
DD: Yes, of course. I'm going to be 5 and I'm going to have a party.
Me: It's quite a long time till your birthday Darling.
DD: Can I have a picture of the sky and the grass and a river and a house and some children and a flower and a bee and a butterfly and the sun with a smiling face on my cake?
Me: I don't know. I'm not that clever at baking cakes.
DD: Yes, of course you are. (Thinks for a moment) Make sure you put some white in the sun's eyes not just brown because brown and white is more proper than just brown. (Thinks again) Or maybe I'll just have a 5 cake.

#SilentSunday

Online Shopping In Israel

I actually like supermarket shopping. I walk up and down every isle, viewing everything, choosing, meeting people I know and exchanging pleasantries. All in all a very satisfactory experience if you have the time and don't have a broken toe. Not having a car isn't a problem as the delivery service is cheap and advisable if you live on the third floor with no lift, especially during watermelon season. One of the reasons I've not done online shopping until now.

Another reason is that I tried the prototype of online shopping about 15 years ago - telephone orders. Hilarious to think that you sat on the phone with a clerk and went through all the product lists together. When it arrived the fresh produce was very fair, e.g. out of six tomatoes four would be perfect and two would be so-so. After a while I got fed up of buying 33% so-so fruit and veg. I wanted 100% perfect so I went back to shopping in person. Besides, I missed the social.

Recently I've heard that Mega (my local super of choice) may actually reserve the best produce for online orders. I've seen the packers and they do seem to choose carefully. Reports from friends have also been very favourable. So I gave it a go, what with wanting a large watermelon in my third floor walk up apartment and having a broken toe and all.

Here's what I learned:

1. Even though the store loyalty credit card has CAL, YOU, and MasterCard printed on it, you are still supposed to know that you have to choose Diners when you pay. I called the 1-800  number for that info.

2. The total amount at the bottom of your order is not a sum of the amounts listed in the order (my total was about 50 shekels over). Nor is it the final amount you will  pay because the exact weights of the produce, cheese off the block, etc... are not known. Another call to the 1-800 number sorted this puzzle out.

3. Very helpful to have the prices also listed as price/100g so you can compare the different brands - impressive. However, when my watermelon (which can be up to 8kg) was listed as costing 3.99 when the stated price was 3.99, I suddenly feared that I'd ordered 100g of watermelon. But no, 1 unit of watermelon on the website = 1 whole watermelon. Phew!

4. Two items I thought I ordered didn't show up. Must check more thoroughly next time before finalizing the order.

5. Choose the option to have similar items swapped in for out of stock chosen items at your peril. I chose a 6-pack of small water bottles very carefully. I wanted similar lids to a couple of water bottles we have that have leaky lids. Of course I got different bottles with different lids - we didn't even need the water (we have plenty in our taps). There's an option to comment on the order form - now I know what it's for.

6. At least they had the sense to call me anyway to find out if I wanted a burnt sugar and corn concoction with chemical flavourings similar to maple syrup instead of my 100% pure maple syrup. I didn't. They also didn't have the bag of 'oranges for juice' and nothing to substitute - did I want anything instead? No, I ordered the oranges when I couldn't find watermelon and hadn't noticed that they were 'for juice' - what does that mean anyway? Then I forgot to cancel them. Another phew!

7. When you order 1kg of hard cheese they assume you want it sliced. Another issue for the comment box - we sometimes want our cheese grated. In any case we'll do our slicing and grating ourselves as the fancy takes us. A block of cheese please next time.

8. I didn't order ice-cream as I wasn't sure what state it would arrive in.

9. I placed the order in the afternoon and still had the option of getting it between 8pm and 11pm that night. I chose that option and it actually arrived at 7.50pm - very impressive though might not happen if you order nearer the weekend - this was a Wednesday.

10. Score for online shopping 9/10 and only because I need to learn to work the system better. I probably spent less even with an inflated service/delivery charge (28 shekels as opposed to 14 shekels for deliveries under 400 and free for orders over 400 shekels in the shop).

After kindergarten DD and I are going to the more expensive shop round the corner to get bread, rice crackers, ice-cream, and a new toothbrush for DD. I'll probably end up getting a couple of packets of crisps for the weekend for her and maybe a cake and she'll get me to buy her some sweets as well - always happens. Oh, and I keep forgetting to buy a new tin opener which I need urgently..... It'll be another 150 shekels easily but I'm still on the learning curve of online shopping.

Jewish Women Covering Their Hair

Grace Kelly should've been Jewish

Religious married Jewish women cover their hair. It's because your hair is your crowning glory and might attract attention from the opposite sex which would be immodest. There's also the notion of keeping the beauty exclusively for your husband's enjoyment.

Love this style from Pinterest

There are various degrees and styles of head covering. Some women will not show a strand of their own hair while others will be fine with a small bandanna. Styles range from elaborate wigs and hats to snoods, scarves and berets.

BB, not Jewish, what a waste

My friend Hipstermom wrote this post about her headscarf saga over the years. When you think about it, it's a huge commitment to never go out without covering your hair. And in a hot climate like Israel, the summer brings its own challenges.

In the fb discussion that followed, I posted a picture of the beautiful Natalie Portman, who happens to be Jewish and married but does not cover her hair all the time. She's wearing an exquisite headscarf creation in that perfectly groomed, porcelain complexion way that only Hollywood and Photoshop can achieve.  "Not fair!" cried Hipstermom, and rightly so.

Not fair!

As I teach a class of mature students in a religious college in Jerusalem, I thought I'd offer some examples of how real women do the cover up (with their permission). Bear in mind that these are women with several children, full time jobs, doing a part-time degree, and they cover their hair every day like this. Personally, I think it's pretty impressive.

I couldn't manage it myself...

#T'YOUsday: Reading Again

I used to be a reader. When I was quite young I would stay up all night sometimes rather than leave a book. I couldn't leave it sometimes, I was so entrenched in the place and the story. I was Heidi, I was Charlotte Sometimes and I was Jean in A Pony For Jean and its two sequels. Later I was at Flambards and anywhere that Noel Streatfeild went, went I. I have still have all the books to prove it - except Jean. I wonder what happened to Jean?

I stopped reading during my O'level and A'level years. Too much guilt about unfinished homework. Whenever I wanted to read a novel I would be painfully aware that I should be reading schoolwork instead.

Gap year on a kibbutz and I was, in my mind, conquering the stock exchange in NYC with Jeffrey Archer. Then, for a change of scenery and lifestyle I spent a week being Meggie in The Thorn Birds - which made our basic kibbutz conditions seem positively luxurious.

Back to college and guilt years all over again. My social life didn't suffer you understand, just the reading.

Finally, no more exams and I was a reader again. And I was a spinster single teacher, which meant long lazy summer holidays with no hint of routine. Read until you fall asleep, get up to shower and eat and read again until you fall asleep. That was pretty much how I spent my 30s.

And then DD came along and then I gave birth to Midlife Singlemum. Reading couldn't compete with these two demanding babies of mine. I rarely had my bed to myself - either DD or the blog would be taking my attention on any given evening.

My friends mostly bought me books for my big birthday last year. Here they are. I was so excited when they arrived from Amazon. But I never read any of them. Not one. I had got out of the habit of reading. I wasted all my free, me time online.

Some of my birthday presents from last September

After a long cold winter spent huddling together under the duvet, our trip to England, moving out for renovations, and moving back in to chaos - I've finally got us sorted out and firmly established our separate rooms. (Sometimes this still happens but mostly it doesn't.) In the past two weeks, in the sanctuary of my own bedroom, I've returned to reading. I've read four of the books in the photo and used up the remainder of the gift voucher with an order for two more books.

It's good to be back.




This post was written for the T'YOU'sDay linky. Follow the links below for more posts about mothers who make 'me' time. This is a blog hop after all. 

#SilentSunday

Downsizing And Decluttering

I've moved myself from a large bedroom into a much smaller bedroom. Plus the bedroom I've moved into used to be the study and it still has to accommodate a home office area.

Reasons:
1. The idea is to rent out the large bedroom to a lodger.
2. Anyone willing to lodge with a 4yo in the house has to have a big enough bedroom that they can use for a bit of privacy without actually having to go to bed.
3. The large size of the bedroom compensates for living with a 4yo so I can charge the going rate.
4. DD's bedroom is off the old study so it's only suitable to use the old study as my bedroom.

Thoughts:
1. Aaaargh! How am I going to fit all my stuff in here and still have room for the study?
2. My friends' fashion-conscious daughter, Gali, had a room half this size throughout her teenage years. Half the cupboard space, 1/3 of the drawer space, 4 shelves on the wall. And it was always beautifully tidy and uncluttered - as she was/is. Think like Gali.
3. A wealthy friend in London (multiple homes sort of wealthy) has one modest wardrobe for her own clothes. For each season she has a capsule wardrobe of a few well-chosen outfits which she mixes and matches. I do not need 20 dresses, 20 skirts and 20 pairs of jeans/trousers. Ditto tops, ts and jumpers.
4. It's not about storage solutions, it's about keeping/owning less.

Action:
1. Define the the office area and keep it contained. I'm a teacher and householder, I'm not running a corporate business here - how much shelf/storage space do I need for goodness sake?
2. Get rid of outdated paperwork, sort out piles of workbooks and teaching materials - either use them with students or put the one-side photocopies in DD's pile of drawing paper. Ditto about five enormous ring-files full of my MA coursework. 10 years is way past its academic shelf life and even I'm not that interested in all those scintillating essays anymore. The book about teaching business English with chapters on how to use the word processor and keeping a day-file could probably be thrown out.
3. Make a pile of books to pass on to friends and colleague who will appreciate them. Only keep those which I absolutely love and want to revisit one day.
4. Everything must have a home or it becomes mess. You also spend too much time searching for things that have no official home.
5. Select my capsule wardrobe from what I already own (capsule+ maybe in my case). If I can't bring myself to pass on some of the old stuff then store it in the empty suitcases until I have reached Decluttering Nirvana.
6. Stop buying toiletries until I've used up all the creams, lotions and potions I already have. Including gift sets, sachet samples and half bottles of stuff abandoned by guests.
7. Put old photos in albums or scan them and make books. Get rid of duplicates or make a separate album for DD.
8. We don't need to keep every towel and sheet I've ever owned since 1980.

Any other advice will be gratefully received in the comments.