Thursday, January 20, 2011

The Best Advice I Ever Got

All my adult life I had been saying that if I didn't get married I would have a baby on my own. However, I was holding out to do it the traditional way with a loving other. Or at least an other. It wasn't until I saw my friend's twins, who had come into the world with the help of IVF, that I got over that hurdle. They were her babies, her family. I looked but I didn't see any question marks hanging over their heads.

Now, at the age of 41, I knew it was put your money where your mouth is. Either I did it now or I came to terms with the prospect of never being a mummy. I started to develop symptoms for about five major diseases. I am not a hypochondriac. I wasn't even registered with a doctor as I hadn't needed one for at least ten years. I was the opposite of a hypochondriac, if there is such a thing.

So I found a wonderful woman doctor (WWD) and told her about my pins and needles (MS), palpatations (heart disease), unstable hands (parkinsons), twitchy restlessness and buggy eyes (thyroid) and painful boobs (breast cancer). WWD diagnosed stress and then, with no prompting from myself, she asked me, "have you ever thought about having children?"
"All the time," I replied.
"Don't dwell on all the details of how you would cope or you'll scare yourself out of it. I know many many women who have done this on their own and not one of them has regretted it.."

That was the best advice I ever got.


  1. Hi Singlemum! Thanks for that. I am just now getting ready to go it alone, except I live in Switzerland, where it is close to impossible for single women. (It seems the doctor facilitating a pregnancy can be sued for child support if there is no "father"). Just now started a blog on it, but it is in German ( Seeing a fertility specialist in January, pretty scared...

    1. Good luck with everything. It is truly a wonderful thing you are doing for yourself. Sorry I don't understand German or i'd read your blog.

  2. Hi

    I am looking into IVF in Israel. Are there any leading clinics in the country for older women 41 who offer IVF for international patients. From what I can gather Israel is a world leader in IVF. I have looked at a clinic in Haifa with a Doctor Kol. I have the significant other who will provide the other gametes lol.

    Many thanks for reading. As an aside have you considered using Google Chrome as a browser ? It have an automatic translation facility. its fantastic. Opens up a whole world of blogs, websites etc

  3. I'm just seeing this now. As far as I know all the major hospitals have 'tourist patients' - especially from the surrounding Arab countries would you believe.