Weddings and Potties: the Pain of No Grandchildren

Last night one of my friends made a wedding for her son. This is the second wedding she has made as her daughter got married a couple of years ago. I was at home showing DD the new potty I had bought for her.

Of my friends, only the ones with lots of children have one (two at the most) bar or bat mitzvas left to make. Most of them are on to weddings. About six of my contemporaries have married children and one is a grandmother of twins.

These twins are about six months older than DD, which is very significant. When the two baby girls were born, I was, thankfully, already three months into my pregnancy.

A while ago I read an article in one of the UK newpapers online (I must start making a note of where I read things) written by a childless woman in her 50s. She wrote about how she had got past the baby-blues and had almost forgotten the pain of not having children of her own. In fact, she had been enjoying a period of renewed availability amongst her friends who no longer had to be tied to the home to babysit their young children. As her friend's children grew up, the differences between their lifestyles became less obvious. Once more they were able to meet for coffee, go shopping together or to see a film.

Then the friends started whipping out photos of their newly arrived grandchildren. The writer was not prepared for the violent reaction she felt. She said it was like being childless all over again. All the emotions she had dealt with the first time around, returned with a vengeance. If anything it was even worse as, the first time round she had not entirely given up on becoming a mother.

As I hear about the weddings of my friends' children I am able to rejoice in the cycle of life and be excited for them. I watch DD playing with her new potty in the living-room - it's very good for carrying plastic Disney figures around - and I thank God.