You know the types... I REFUSE TO WASTE MY TIME GOSSIPING ON FACEBOOK and I DON'T WANT EVERYONE KNOWING MY PRIVATE BUSINESS or even... I'M A VERY PRIVATE PERSON, I DON'T HAVE A NEED TO TELL EVERYONE WHAT I'M DOING EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY. And perhaps the most damning comment from someone who only lurks... YES I SEE YOUR LITTLE SILLINESSES ON FACEBOOK. The last delivered with a condescending smile. Bitch!
I have some understanding of where they are coming from. Facebook is not quite 8 years old and I've only been on it for 3 1/2 years. I only joined because it was part of blogging, for sharing purposes. Before blogging I also resisted. What did I need it for? If I want to speak to someone I call or email them and they can do likewise. It didn't cross my mind to examine the cost of five phone calls versus telling five (or more) people your news for free and emails didn't seem as unsatisfactory for chatting as they are now. But back then I thought Facebook was only for announcing venues for drinks and other events.
Obviously they don't get it. If they had any idea how Facebook has helped me over the past few years as a single mother, a bread-winner, a home-owner, an expat, a teacher, a home-maker, a citizen, a neighbour, and a friend; they might not be quite so judgmental. And if they were prepared to be a bit more open-minded, they might discover a whole new quality of life. But I know how it is if you simply don't get how it works.
A glance and a bit of a read won't enlighten you much. Your wall and the casual user's newsfeed is not an accurate picture of Facebook. This page is like the playground outside school, it's the water-cooler at the office, it's the staff lounge or common room. It's where you share cute memes, jokes, casual comments, exclamations about what's going on in the news, and general alerts about the weather, pollution levels, internet privacy, new laws, health issues, etc... The latter can be interesting and very useful or less so - like the information shared at the water-cooler in fact.
It's also great for keeping in touch with old friends, acquaintances who you don't phone, and sharing family news. It's a modern version of the stack of Christmas/New Year cards but more environmentally friendly and free.
If you were to only see what I write on my wall you wouldn't know nuffin. All the important stuff happens in groups. I belong to a group of parents living in Jerusalem where we share parenting advice and information - invaluable for health, education, and kids' events, and great for arranging group outings in the summer. I also belong to larger a national parenting group. I belong to rooms for let and apartment swap groups as renting out my spare bedroom is an important source of income for me and swapping might be a great way for us to get a holiday we wouldn't otherwise afford.
I belong to an expat group, a living frugally in Israel group, a 'What's for Dinner?' group for great recipe ideas, a blacklist group so you know which businesses to avoid, vegetarian and vegan groups, a losing weight support group, a what's on in Jerusalem/Israel group, an employment group, an EFL teachers' group, a writers' group, and a buy/sell/swap group.
Not only has all this kept me sane and connected as a single mother who can't go out much in the evenings, it has kept me informed and allowed me to share my knowledge with others. It has saved me from missing many opportunities I wouldn't have known about. On a social level it has allowed me to console and/or support friends who might otherwise be suffering or celebrating alone.
You can set up a group for anything from an open group for wine enthusiasts to a closed group of select friends to see you through a significant time or event in your life (an illness, a wedding, a divorce, a new career, a difficult pregnancy, a loss).
One local mother who wanted her son to join one of my 'learning to read English' groups has told me more than once (in capitals) that she absolutely will not go on Facebook. I explained to her that I post openings and schedules on the Parents in Jerusalem Facebook group. "I'll give you my phone number," she said, "and you can text me." Umm no.
Then there is the friend who said, "I'm not on Facebook, could you tell me or email me anything that comes up in that group that you think I need to know?" Umm I charge $20 an hour for secretarial services.
A recent and new put-down for Facebook is that FACEBOOK IS FOR THE MIDDLE-AGED. ALL THE YOUNGSTERS ARE INTO SOMETHING ELSE ALREADY. Umm, yes what's your point? I am middle aged. What's more, I've spent some effort trying to avoid becoming friends with all my friends' children. I like my friends' children but they are not part of my chatterati.
You don't have to be on Facebook but you're not proving any moral or social superiority. Maybe next time someone tells me why they wouldn't touch Facebook with a barge pole I'll say, "I know what you mean, I wouldn't join a gym for the same reasons."
Disclaimer: Facebook has paid me nothing for this post however, I've paid them nothing either so we're quits.
I have some understanding of where they are coming from. Facebook is not quite 8 years old and I've only been on it for 3 1/2 years. I only joined because it was part of blogging, for sharing purposes. Before blogging I also resisted. What did I need it for? If I want to speak to someone I call or email them and they can do likewise. It didn't cross my mind to examine the cost of five phone calls versus telling five (or more) people your news for free and emails didn't seem as unsatisfactory for chatting as they are now. But back then I thought Facebook was only for announcing venues for drinks and other events.
Obviously they don't get it. If they had any idea how Facebook has helped me over the past few years as a single mother, a bread-winner, a home-owner, an expat, a teacher, a home-maker, a citizen, a neighbour, and a friend; they might not be quite so judgmental. And if they were prepared to be a bit more open-minded, they might discover a whole new quality of life. But I know how it is if you simply don't get how it works.
A glance and a bit of a read won't enlighten you much. Your wall and the casual user's newsfeed is not an accurate picture of Facebook. This page is like the playground outside school, it's the water-cooler at the office, it's the staff lounge or common room. It's where you share cute memes, jokes, casual comments, exclamations about what's going on in the news, and general alerts about the weather, pollution levels, internet privacy, new laws, health issues, etc... The latter can be interesting and very useful or less so - like the information shared at the water-cooler in fact.
It's also great for keeping in touch with old friends, acquaintances who you don't phone, and sharing family news. It's a modern version of the stack of Christmas/New Year cards but more environmentally friendly and free.
If you were to only see what I write on my wall you wouldn't know nuffin. All the important stuff happens in groups. I belong to a group of parents living in Jerusalem where we share parenting advice and information - invaluable for health, education, and kids' events, and great for arranging group outings in the summer. I also belong to larger a national parenting group. I belong to rooms for let and apartment swap groups as renting out my spare bedroom is an important source of income for me and swapping might be a great way for us to get a holiday we wouldn't otherwise afford.
I belong to an expat group, a living frugally in Israel group, a 'What's for Dinner?' group for great recipe ideas, a blacklist group so you know which businesses to avoid, vegetarian and vegan groups, a losing weight support group, a what's on in Jerusalem/Israel group, an employment group, an EFL teachers' group, a writers' group, and a buy/sell/swap group.
Not only has all this kept me sane and connected as a single mother who can't go out much in the evenings, it has kept me informed and allowed me to share my knowledge with others. It has saved me from missing many opportunities I wouldn't have known about. On a social level it has allowed me to console and/or support friends who might otherwise be suffering or celebrating alone.
You can set up a group for anything from an open group for wine enthusiasts to a closed group of select friends to see you through a significant time or event in your life (an illness, a wedding, a divorce, a new career, a difficult pregnancy, a loss).
One local mother who wanted her son to join one of my 'learning to read English' groups has told me more than once (in capitals) that she absolutely will not go on Facebook. I explained to her that I post openings and schedules on the Parents in Jerusalem Facebook group. "I'll give you my phone number," she said, "and you can text me." Umm no.
Then there is the friend who said, "I'm not on Facebook, could you tell me or email me anything that comes up in that group that you think I need to know?" Umm I charge $20 an hour for secretarial services.
A recent and new put-down for Facebook is that FACEBOOK IS FOR THE MIDDLE-AGED. ALL THE YOUNGSTERS ARE INTO SOMETHING ELSE ALREADY. Umm, yes what's your point? I am middle aged. What's more, I've spent some effort trying to avoid becoming friends with all my friends' children. I like my friends' children but they are not part of my chatterati.
You don't have to be on Facebook but you're not proving any moral or social superiority. Maybe next time someone tells me why they wouldn't touch Facebook with a barge pole I'll say, "I know what you mean, I wouldn't join a gym for the same reasons."
Disclaimer: Facebook has paid me nothing for this post however, I've paid them nothing either so we're quits.
well said, my dear
ReplyDeletecouldnt have put it better myself!
How very true - 'you're not proving any moral or social superiority' wonderfully put. The people who think they're above facebook because the don't comment much etc and just sit back and judge what's going on. It is a very useful tool which you can dip in and out of when it suits and if you get enjoyment,help and pleasure out of it then its very useful x
ReplyDeleteThis is good. I might share it on fb ;)
ReplyDeleteOne more aspect, there is art and poetry happening on FB that I would otherwise never be exposed to. Like everything else, it's a great thing, in the right proportion
ReplyDeleteTotally agree...as a result of my joining Facebook I reconnected with true friends across the world with whom I lost contact when I met and married my ex (as happens with a lot if people). These people reminded me of person I used to be and don't know how being back in my life helped me in so many ways. All through Facebook. I will never hear me slate the site
ReplyDeleteTotally agree...as a result of my joining Facebook I reconnected with true friends across the world with whom I lost contact when I met and married my ex (as happens with a lot if people). These people reminded me of person I used to be and don't know how being back in my life helped me in so many ways. All through Facebook. I will never hear me slate the site
ReplyDeleteWell said.... I really enjoy the group aspect of FB and I belong to quite a few - blogging groups, writing groups, which have offered me lots of support and encouragement, and I've made new friends through them as well. There are a lot of positives to FB. X
ReplyDelete