Young pupil: Where's DD's daddy?
Me: She hasn't got one.
YS: Oh, you can do that?
YS: You can't have a boy though, right? Only a girl.
Me: Ask your parents how it works.
Me: DD who did this drawing on the wall?
DD: It wasn't me. No, it was my little children.
Me: I don't want to hear about your little children.
DD: I didn't do it! My little children did it.
DD: Well some of them are very naughty.
Me: There are a lot of clouds. Do you think there's going to be another storm.
DD: No, God promised there won't be any more storms.
Me: Here's your supper.
DD: Yuk! I don't like THIS at all!
DD: What means an ogre?
Me: Shrek is an ogre.
DD: But what is it?
Me: Well, they're green and ugly and they live in a swamp.
DD: Oh how very a shame for them.
Me: Time for bed.
DD: I don't want to go to bed. I'm not tired.
Me: I'm sorry darling but it's time to go to bed.
DD: I'm sorry darling but no.