Tuesday, January 3, 2012

You Can't Be A Mother

The 100 word challenge this week is to write from the perspective of the woman under the arrow. I immediately knew what my subject was, it's something I see a lot in Israel. I meet women like this and it breaks my heart every time. I took my title and the final line from this article. Read it to find out more. Then go to Julia's Place to see the other entries.



When I have second baby I must follow sister and leave the Philippines for work. Daughters, like cousins, live with grandmother. I send money.

Being Santa's elf is fun job. Most elves are Vietnamese and Thai but we get along fine. Hardest time is Christmas. Not only it is busy season, obviously, but it is emotional hard.

I go down chimneys on Christmas Eve and see many children who wake up in morning and run to mother's bed for cuddle. It is very hard. I am also mother, but you can't be mother when you are not with your children.

32 comments:

  1. This is so moving it brought a lump to my throat. Fantastic entry.

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  2. Thanks S-J, I cry every time I think about it. Especially when they are looking after other people's children.

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  3. it's heart breaking to think of these women being separated from their children; they continue to love them unconditionally, as any mother would, across the miles and they would do anything for their children - even if it means travelling thousands of miles away from them in the hope that they can raise money to send home to make their lives a little easier. they are mothers even when they are not with their children, the love and pain that they feel stands as testimony to that. great piece, rachel x

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  4. I agree actually, that they are mothers despite the distances. Thanks Emma.

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  5. Compelling stuff. And different again. Get harder to find an original angle the more are posted methinks ...

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  6. This is very emotive, thanks for sharing and I'm pleased to have helped to inspire you!

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  7. Ventahl - You're right, but sometimes, like this time, the subject just jumps out at you.

    Lucidgypsy - Thank you :)

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  8. Very powerful. Your link to frivolity with the reality of life is very moving. This really made me think.

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  9. This is a fabulous piece; so moving and heartfelt.
    I really felt for her.

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  10. Theotheralig and Anna - thank you, it does make you think doesn't it? And give thanks that we were born into a different reality.

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  11. I don't know what to say--I'm moved yet wondering something I can't quite put into words. The fact remains that you've found a very powerful way into this one. That's a wonderful thing for a writer.

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  12. Thank you Sparks. Now I'm intrigued by what you are wondering.

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  13. UcidGypsy - I'm so sorry I didn't realise the signmificance of your comment. Thank you - it's a great photograph. I understand that it was actual some very nice Malaysian girls singing carols.

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  14. *Lucidgypsy *significance - sorry, I was so choked up at finding the photographer :)

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  15. That is very sad, and very thought-provoking. Well done!

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  16. Wonderful interpretation. I saw them as much younger. On closer inspection, having read your piece I can see where you're coming from.

    Well done :-)

    xx Jazzy

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  17. Thanks Lorely. And Jazzy - htanks for coming back and for your comment. :)

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  18. Heartwrenching. I went to a conference last year which presented research on this very subject - the long-distance relationship that these women have with their children, whilst they work thousands of miles away, to provide for them. I found it very difficult subject matter and didn't feel comfortable with the detached academic presentation but also thankful that people are recording and researching this reality of motherhood. So, it is especially affecting to find your writing about it here- wonderful!

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  19. Lucy, I know what you mean about an academic study on such a sensitive subject and I agree with you that it is better that it is aknowledged and recorded than just ignored. I like your use of 'long-distance relationship' as I sometimes forget that they do still have a relationship with their children, albeit a difficult one to bear. Thank you.

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  20. A very well written and thought provoking piece. I read the link you posted, as well which made your piece even more powerful. Thanks for this.

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  21. Thank you GoofyJ, I agree about the link - I wanted to back it up with some real facts to show that this is not just my imagination working.

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  22. Great work Rachel. It's a subject I know very little about, but my eyes have been opened. (Perhaps I was scared to look). As a parent (albeit a Dad), it seems incomprehensible that one might do such a thing but, on reflection, it comes down to there being little choice and, as ever hopeful mummy says, it is no indication that they are any less a mother to their children.
    Superbly though-provoking.

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  23. Thank you Nellyache, I see women like this all the time as there are many Philippinas here in Israel, mostly working as nannies or carers. It is hard to get one's head round it.

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  24. Powerful writing, even more so because you have mixed it up with the lighter fantasy of Christmas. Thank you.

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  25. Thanks Snagglewordz, I wasn't sure if I was being a bit irreverend doing that but it seems to have gone down OK.

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  26. I like the two sides to this - the humour of the 'elf' bit, then the heart-moving story that is sadly true for mothers like this in real life, who face a situation that no mother should have to. The 'Christmas' theme only adds poignancy.

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  27. Thanks Phill - I appreciate you coming back and writing such a lovely comment.

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  28. DancingInTheRain:
    I already wrote a comment last week on Facebook but I wanted to add that I think it is particularly ingenuous that she speaks in broken English. If this is what she were thinking then she would be thinking in her mother tongue - and thus fluently - and so no doubt she is telling her story to someone. Maybe to a reporter who is interviewing her about her plight and the plight of many others. An excellent way, midlife, to raise social awareness.and making it seem like an I retched. As if someone else is already interested in her story, gives it double strength.

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  29. DITR again: 3 words sneaked their way into the 3rd line b4 last. Sorry- don't know how. (like an I retched shouldn't be there)

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  30. Dancing - I was wondering what those words meant :). Thank you for your comment - it hadn't occurred to me but you could be right.

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  31. I love the broken English because it is so effective and really put you in her shoes. Excellent writing Midlife

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