Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Starting The Daddy Conversations

Last night in bed we had the prologue to the daddy conversations. Actually it was more of a prelude to the prologue to the daddy conversations.

At 2 1/2, DD is obsessed with Beauty's father in Beauty and the Beast. She tells me when he appears in the DVD, she points him out to me on the box, and she even mentions him, sans prompt, at any odd time of the day. I have been waiting for the inevitable next step in her thought processes and trying to decide how I can best help her, whilst knowing I've had my prepared line to say to her ready since December.

A wise friend once wrote me an email saying: children will accept their identity, it's a matter of how you present it. (L - if you read this, it's you and I thank you for it). With this in mind I found myself directing the following conversation in the dark, after stories and before DD fell asleep.

"Beauty daddy," she said apropos nothing.
"Yes, Beauty's got a daddy," I confirmed.
"Yes, Beauty daddy," she repeated.
"But no mummy," I found myself saying.
"Beauty daddy."
"Yes, Beauty's got a daddy but noooo mummy."
"Yes. Noooo mummy. Beauty daddy."

We left it at that. It was enough for the first daddy conversation. I'm one step ahead and at some point we could refer to the fact that Bambi has a mummy but nooooo daddy. But not yet. It's just there for the right moment.

A few minutes later DD said, "DD push the buggy. No mummy push it,"
"Yes, DD can push the buggy tomorrow," I answered.
"Yes, and no mummy push it. DD push it." And then she fell asleep.


  1. I'd steer clear of Bambi's mother for a long time if I were you...look what happens to her!
    This is such a sweet and moving post - you're so sensitive to your daughter's thought process.

  2. Bambi should be X rated .. I had nightmares for ages after seeing it aged around 4.

  3. Thanks Keren and Janice - Funny how it's things that never cross your mind that provoke the most reaction. I'd no idea Bambi was such an emotive subject. DD loves it but, you are right Keren, she doesn't understand what happened to his mother. I., on hte other hand, cry every time.

  4. Sound like you are doing all the right stuff, I imagine this is just a passing interest - children's own experience is generally the only experience as they world revolves around them. There are lots of fab books that feature just one parent - we love the Big Bear, Little bear books.

  5. Thanks Gemma - Next time we are in England I am going to check out some of those books. btw, how come you don't have an opinion about Bambi? ;)