Listography: Top 5 Life Lessons

Listography has reappeared on Kate Takes 5 (hooray!) with the Top 5 Life Lessons. Follow the link to read some of the other entries.

What are the top 5 lessons I've learned that you may not see on a fridge magnet? The fridge magnet lessons are good but we all know them and even though we know them, we don't always live by them. Here are my Top 5 Life Lessons that have actually changed my life.

1. Some things change with time anyway.
I was always a night person and if I made it to bed before 2am I'd be reading till the small hours. Consequently, I could lie in bed in the morning till lunchtime (and beyond). On the other hand, I firmly agreed with the old rhyme: Early to bed, early to rise, makes a (wo)man healthy, wealthy and wise. So I spent years of my life fighting my natural bio-rhythms and trying to be a morning person. One day I realized that I'd become a morning person without even noticing.

I used to procrastinate over homework to the extent of not doing it at all. I believe it was more than just laziness, such was the effort it took to sit and get started, although I'm not sure what it was exactly. This affliction continued into adulthood with preparing lessons and housework. Until the day I realized that I now eagerly rush through jobs so that I can  tick them off my list. (It's not the list, I always made lists.) I don't know when or how I changed but it happened. Maybe it's a matter of maturity or maybe hormonal changes calming ADD tendencies - who knows?

2. A parent's greatest resource is parents with older children.
We had a three-day activity camp over half term and you could pay by the day. I needed to send DD on the first day as I had to work but after that it was her choice. When I took her on the first day I found out that they were going swimming on the second day. DD can't swim, she can't dry or dress herself alone, she's never been to that pool, the camp was for K, 1st grade and 2nd grade together and DD was the youngest kid from Kindergarten. There was no way she was going swimming with them even though the leader promised me she would help her dress. Then I spoke to mothers from the camp who had older children who had been there before. I trusted their judgement, DD went swimming and had the time of her life.

One of the parents from  my after school 'Learning to Read English Group' almost cancelled as her daughter was worrying about being picked up from Kindergarten by another parent and brought to my place when she doesn't even know me. The other, more experienced, parent advised her that it was worth her while to take an hour off work to bring her daughter herself the first time. She did that and the little girl now comes to English happily with her friend's mum. Not rocket science I know, but sometimes it takes a parent who's already been there to see the obvious solution.

3. Homework is for life but you want this.
It was a grey day when I realized that all jobs that are worth doing and bring the most rewards, come with some kind of homework (preparation, accounts, paperwork...) However, unless you want to work for someone else on minimum pay, you will actually look for a job with homework. Not for the homework, obviously, but because the alternative is likely to be less rewarding, either financially or emotionally, or both.

4. Facebook, twitter and blogs don't necessarily tell you about a person's real life.
Sometimes, usually at the end of a busy work day when DD won't go to bed and I've not prepared my lessons for tomorrow, it's hard to see yet another status from a friend who seems to spend her life jet-setting around the world on business. What she never mentions is that she never sees her family, her teenage daughters hate her, her husband is threatening to divorce her, she lives in dread of the nanny letting her down, and she suffers from chronic back pain which is getting worse. (I made all that up but you know what I mean.)

I do have a friend who I keep up with via facebook statuses and I assumed I knew basically what was happening in her life. It wasn't until we met up after not seeing each other in the flesh for almost two years, that she told me her husband had been out of a job for almost a year and they were not in good shape. As she pointed out to me, there are some things you don't put on facebook.

5. Your desires change with the circumstances of your life.
When a friend of mine who had been an ambitious businessman, became ill with an auto-immune disease, suddenly all he wanted was to be able to walk a bit, wash and dress himself, and make himself a cup of tea - and to live of course. Had he been given even that limited life, he would have been very grateful.

As a single mother, all I want now is for us both to be healthy, and to be able to cover my bills comfortably, and save money for emergencies and some nice treats. A big difference from the days when I wanted to be a famous actress or, failing that, to be Princess Diana. Given the choice now, I wouldn't want to be famous or even an actress. If you'd told the teenage me that I'd be happy to be a single mother living in my own apartment and working as a teacher, I'd have doubted that could be me. But it is.