Being 'Opposite'

Rolling up her sleeves to tuck into a large Belgian Chocolate Waffle. 

Last Friday they celebrated family day in DD's school. It's the same programme every year but with a different theme. Every year they invite the children to bring in their grandparents or an uncle, aunt or cousin. There's an assembly, they go to the classes and hear stories from the grandparents on the theme, and there's food (obviously).

It's a nice morning. I enjoyed it the first year. The second year was a bit samey. By the third year I really didn't need to go and meet everyone's grandparents again - especially as we have no relatives in the country to bring.

I have some second cousins but not in Jerusalem. Anything further than second cousins I probably wouldn't even know and would include half of the Jews from London probably. I had a friend in primary school whom I used to dance with in country dancing lessons, who turned out to be my third cousin. We had no idea at the time. My Dad sat next to his Dad in synagogue for 30 years and they had no idea that they were second cousins. It gets ridiculous after a generation or two.

So last year in Third Grade, DD went but I didn't. This year she didn't feel the need to go either so we went out for waffles for breakfast to celebrate our family of two.

A word on the waffles. I'm not eating sugar so I went for a savoury waffle. DD's waffle was far too big for one meal so we had half of it wrapped and we took it home. She ate the other half for breakfast on Saturday morning. She didn't need chocolate covered waffle for breakfast two days in a row.

One option is for two people to share one dish - they happily provide two plates for this purpose. But if they sold a reasonable portion for one serving at half the price, we'd definitely go more often. Especially as this was our second eating out in the past couple of weeks. The first time when DD said she wanted a waffle, I said she could have it for dessert. The pizza she ordered for her main course was way too big for her to finish and we brought half of that home with us too. We never got to the waffle. On Friday I said she could go straight for the waffle. Seriously though, half the mains and half the dessert for the same price would be preferable and we really would do it more often.

Today the Purim festivities started. DD's school have a dressing up theme for each day until they break up for the Purim holiday next Tuesday. Today was pyjama day. I put clean pyjamas, Ugg slippers, and her big fluffy dressing gown on the bed this morning in case she wanted to wear them for school. I knew she wouldn't. She came out in normal school clothes.

DD: Do I have to go to school today?
Me: Yes.
DD: I don't want to be the only one not in pyjamas.
Me: So wear pyjamas.
DD: No, I don't want to. It's silly.

DD never dresses up - she hates it. She's the only one in the whole school not in costume on the day of the Purim Parade and she doesn't care. The first time she refused to wear a costume was when she was two. I cried. After that I provided a costume each year which she hardly wore - only if bribed strongly urged to by the teacher. After that I gave up. Each year we go to the costume shop to look at costumes. I tell her she can have anything she wants. She won't choose anything. End of.

One of the things about Purim is to be silly. The idea is to be 'opposite'. I think it's because, in the story, the Persian minister wanted to kill the Jews but in the end, the minister and his sons were executed instead and the Jew became a Persian minister. So we dress up and let ourselves do things we wouldn't ordinarily do like eat and drink too much (haha, that's a joke).

As she walked out the door, DD said to me, "Well I am joining in sort of. I'm being 'opposite'."

  

Do Men Have Favourite Colours?

Today was family day in Israel. DD was busy drawing pictures of and for each member of our extended family. When she draws herself she gives herself a purple dress, purple having taken over from pink as her favourite colour.

When she draws me I get a green dress because green is my favourite colour, when it's not light blue or a delicate lilac or a buttery yellow. I remember loving orange when I was very little and then choosing blue for many years. Most of my wardrobe is red and black. Sometimes I'm not sure what my favourite colour is.

Why do we have to choose a favourite colour? It's a bit like saying who you love best in the family. Doesn't it depend on the circumstances that particular moment and your mood? However, I do know that my mother has always favoured blue without wavering, in the almost 50 years I've known her to express a preference. And my sister likes purple best. Once she liked green but now it's definitely purple.

So maybe us women change our minds over the years, or even over the hours, but do men have favourite colours at all? Of course they do, or so I always thought until I had this conversation with DD as she was drawing pictures for her grandparents.

DD: What's Grandma's favourite colour?
Me: Blue.
DD: And what's Grandpa's favourite colour?
Me: Um, I don't know actually.
DD: You must know. What colour does he like?
Me: I think he likes whatever Grandma chooses.

I was shocked that I didn't know my own father's favourite colour. So then we started talking about the rest of the family - my brother, my brother-in-law, and three nephews. Nope. I didn't know any of their favourite colours. I could guess blue for my b-i-l as he supports Spurs and red for the boys who all support Arsenal, but that's not the same thing. My Dad doesn't support a football team.

Maybe women talk about their favourite colours more because they decorate homes and buy clothes in colours other than masculine neutrals. But do men even have a favourite colour?

I know it's not a matter of life and death but I can't stop thinking about the fact that no man has ever told me his favourite colour. Do you know your husband's or boyfriend's favourite colour? Do you know your Dad's? If you are a male reading this, do you have a favourite colour? Or have I lived a very sheltered existence and this is just one more thing that has passed me by?

DD Got Married!

Today we celebrated Family Day at DD's kindergarten - Israel's more sensitive and politically correct answer to Mothers' and Fathers' Days. All the girls were asked to come in white dresses as they would be dressing up as the brides, while the boys, in their white shirts, were the grooms.

They started off by filing in like a Chinese mass wedding. The couples walked under a large wedding canopy held up by four of the fathers and that was the ceremony over with. Then there was dancing of course. DD had a bit of trouble with her tiara but her betrothed - a real mensch - helped her fix it back in place. A better son-in-law I couldn't wish for. Having said that, I didn't think this would happen quite so soon.

Afterwards there was a slap up wedding breakfast that did us all proud. And finally, all the brides and grooms went home with their own Mummies and Daddies. The perfect wedding(s) wouldn't you say?



One sign of the times that always makes me laugh is how the parents no longer sit and and watch a performance of any sort. As soon as the music starts they all turn into paparazzi, jump up and view the whole thing through their tech devices - LOL.

Mazal Tov DD and DS-I-L

Family Day

It started off as Mother's Day, mainly the commercial aspect of it but also to honour the mothers. It was a funny custom for Israel to adopt as Mother's Day in the UK is definitely a Christian based celebration formerly known as Mothering Sunday. I was never entirely sure if it was referring to the young girls in service going back to visit their mothers (with gifts from the big house) or if the Mother referred to Mother Mary. Anyway, strangely enough, it took off in Israel. Or maybe not so strange as mothers tend to be worshipped here.

However, not all families have mothers and what about fathers? What about children living with other relatives for whatever reason? We're a sensitive lot when it comes to family and so Mother's Day evolved into Family Day. And it's sometime next week.

Word came from the nursery that DD was to bring in a photograph of her family. Well it's just the two of us so not difficult to round everyone up. You'd think. But if both of us are in the picture, who going to take it? So we sat together with my arm outstretched in front of us clicking away blindly in the hope of some decent results. This is what we got.