Midlife Panache

Too cool for blogging about.

Today I started a new blog called Midlife Panache.

After 10 years of blogging as Midlife Singlemum, it's time for a change. I've explained it all on the new blog. Just click on the link. 

Thank you for sticking with me all these years while I muddled through single motherhood. Thank you for the comments and the likes on facebook. I'm not exactly at the empty nest stage yet but DD turned 12 and no longer wants to be featured on a blog. 

It's time to blog about me and the big wide world outside. Please come over and check it out. See you on the other side. 

Rachel (aka Midlife Singlemum)  

Such Is Life

I'd like to say, "trying to stay healthy,"
but I'm way beyond that and now into
"trying to get healthy again." 

This week, after receiving two messages from blog-friends about my absence,  I realised that you can't just disappear from the blogosphere with no word of explanation to your blog friends. 

Apart from not having much to write about due to the current restrictions on going anywhere, seeing only a small circle of people, working from home, etc... I've been reluctant to write anything about how I'm organising the apartment, how we binge watch tv series together into the night, coping with zoom teaching, cooking and sewing, or any other pass-times that are keeping us contentedly jogging along during corona times. 

Even mentioning sitting out on our balcony and enjoying the view with a cup of coffee in hand seems like a slap in the face to those who live in less comfortable domiciles and cannot go out. A Reasons 2B Cheerful post at his time would just be rubbing salt in the wounds. 

Everyday I read on FB about people who've lost their jobs or businesses that they've spent years building up, about people who can no longer afford to pay their rents or mortgages and are afraid of becoming homeless, and people who can't afford to put food on the table. In Israel we now have 25% unemployment. Like everywhere, the tourist, hospitality and entertainment industries are dead, many shops and other commercial concerns are shuttered until further notice, and those who still do have money are not spending it anyway. 

Added to that the fact that I have an almost teenager who doesn't want me to write about her or post photos of her on the blog or occupy any space or speak or breathe. Fair enough but take out the 'mum' bit and I'm just Midlife Single, which is a bit sad and certainly doesn't define me. I thought of closing the blog down but I still want to write. I though of changing the name or starting a new blog. All still possibilities as I approach my 10 year blogiversay in January. 

So that's where I'm at re the blog. Here are a few other observations from my dining table in November 2020.  

1. Whilst actually teaching far fewer hours than in previous years and saving on the travel time, my online obligations to the school seem to stretch and take the whole day, even on days when I'm supposedly not teaching. 

2. Princess Diana died because she didn't wear her seat-belt. End of. 

3. Just call me Harry and wife are desperately trying to stay relevant in an organisation that they left. It would be like me calling the Head of the school I left a few years ago and asking her to include me in the school magazine. No one would care. The Markles are playing at being Royals in America and no one cares.

4. It's my daughter's Bat Mitzva (12th birthday) in three weeks and I'm waiting to find out the regulations for the next few weeks before trying to arrange something meaningful with fewer than 10 people. Or a few fewer than 10 people events. I'd like to take solace in the fact that this has saved me a fortune by not having a big party, but I'm not earning the fortune that would have [eventually] paid for it all.

I can't promise to be back next week, or even the week after. Probably another round up of thoughts and a brief catch-up in December. Which is a shame because I've just made it back into the TOTS100 top 500 and I'm going to slide down the scale again next month. Oh well. Such is life. 

Corona Changed Everything

I am no worrier. I've lived in Israel for a very long time. I have friends. I even have childhood friends who also moved here. I work, I bought an apartment, I did IVF and had a baby, I've been a single mother for almost 12 years. And all this in a language I'm not 100% comfortable with.

I hate the weather in the summer which is far too hot for me, and getting hotter apparently. I hate the national pass-time of hiking in the countryside because I can't see any countryside - only Mediterranean scrub. Otoh, I love it that we live 45 minutes from the Mediterranean. In theory. We're actually not beach lovers.

I love visiting the UK. I love the countryside, I love walking in the countryside. I love London, I love the humour, I love listening to the radio talk shows and understanding all of it. I love dealing with bureaucracy or commerce on the phone or by email because I have full command of the language and all its nuances.

I've always been torn between living here and living in the UK. The more years you expat yourself, the harder it is to go back. The more you have invested in your expat life and the less you have to go back to. However, no one expected covid-19 or that it would change everything. Not just highlighting what I already knew, but bringing up things that I also already knew but had buried deep.

We are far away from close family. It wasn't a problem when a short plane ride was available and traffic went both ways - they came to us and we went to them. But now what happens if I get sick? Who looks after DD? Would you take in a traumatised child who needs to be in quarantine for two weeks and could endanger your own family?

So I'm being over cautious about social distancing. DD came to me last night and said sadly, "Mummy everyone else is out having fun." In theory she's correct. In practice, we both know that we hate that sort of hiking or even picnicking in 34 degree heat sort of "fun". I don't even know what other kind of fun there is in this country in this sort of heat. In past years we went along with friends and endured the heat in order to enjoy the company.

I have a drivers' license but I don't drive here because I don't have a person to call if we break down, get stuck or have an accident. I mean, I have people to call in an emergency but once the emergency bit is over, I still have to deal with all the mechanical and insurance issues. This scares the hell out of me. So we don't have a car and as much as I say it's cheaper to take a taxi any time we want to go anywhere out of town (which it is - I've done the maths) we don't. Our lives are limited.

Our lives are limited, not only by lack of private transport. It's a language thing. I shy away from too much responsibility at work, at school (DD's and mine) and in the community. This is tragic for a natural joiner and organiser.

Finally, as we face DD going into Middle and High School, I feel I'm limiting her education. Her Hebrew has surpassed mine but due to our English lives at home, she doesn't have the language skills necessary to excel. And though I can help her with the material, by looking up the information in English, I can't help her with presenting what she knows. School is half about what you know and half about presenting what you know according to the teachers' requirements.

Maybe covid-19 has turned me into a worrier. Or maybe it has just made me face some difficult truths. Whichever, it has changed everything.

Last Day Of Primary School

First Day at Kindergarten, aged 3 3/4

Can you believe it? I'm the single mum who just had a baby on my own. Only apparently that was almost 12 years ago and that baby just left primary school.

I'm the friend who dropped out of social events in the evenings because she had a baby/toddler/little girl at home. Only now there's no little girl at home. Only an almost teenager who looks remarkably like a young woman.

I look at the school opposite our house and down the road and it's no longer our school after eight long years.

I took DD to the kindergarten when she was still 3. It was two year groups together and the twins who 'adopted' her were almost 6. She was tiny and a bit like the mascot of the kindergarten.

In 1st Grade I had to take her into the classroom every day and wait for the bell. Some days the Headmistress had to prize her off me saying, "A kiss from Mummy and in you go." What she meant was - off you go Mummy and be quick about it.

By 2nd Grade I was leaving her at the school gates and watching her run inside.

In 3rd Grade she wanted me to stop half way down the road and let her walk the last bit with her friends. I watched until she'd gone through the school gates.

By 4th grade I only had to see her across the road.

In 5th grade she went by herself, carefully crossing the road as I watched from the balcony and waved. She got her own front door key for the days that she arrived home before me.

In 6th Grade I often had to go to work early, leaving DD to lock up and go to school. Three times a month she was the supervisor for the crossing guard.

I tried to send her to bed tonight. I don't know what I was thinking. "Good luck with that," she replied, "No school until September remember."

I remember.

Back To School On Sunday?

School - so near and yet so far

There were news reports early in the week that Kindergarten to 3rd Grade, and 11th and 12th Grades, would return to school on Sunday, 3rd May.

Facebook was full of it of course. I'd say there was about a 50-50 split of parents who were for it and those who said it was too soon. And all the parents who were for it weren't 100% convinced either. As usual, those with children in that age bracket who needed to go back to work, didn't have a choice. Those with money (either savings or with desk jobs that can be done from home) to see them through another month were able to make their own decisions. Not to mention the gap in mental health between those with outside space and those without. Bottom line - we are not all in the same boat.

On Wednesday elementary schools were told to prepare for Sunday. Kindergartens are deleted from the equation - enforcing social distancing on 3 - 7s isn't practical. The final decision was made today, Friday, and we're still on. I don't believe this is the final decision but I've been wrong before.

Apparently (I didn't hear it myself but someone posted it on Facebook so believe it or not) they felt compelled to ease restrictions because they think that if they don't, there will be serious unrest and actions against the government. It's the economy stupid.

Other news reports say social distancing is falling apart in many places and the government has lost control over it. Lifting restriction on babysitters, how many families can share childcare, opening high street shops, and easing permitted travel distance, have all helped to erode any sense of logic. Although I am sticking to the rules, I can understand others who won't not go to the park with their kids when people can go to IKEA. (News flash - a corona positive man from Jerusalem spent an hour in IKEA in Rishon on Monday. So there you go.)

A poll found that the biggest hurdle to returning to work is the lack of childcare. The classes are being split into halves (no more than 15 children in a class) so there's only room for half a school to return. They assume that 4th - 6th Graders can be left alone, or with siblings, while the parents go to work. My 6th Grader can but I didn't leave her for more than a couple of hours when she was 9.

In my school the following measures are in place. 1st Graders will enter the school via the top gate, the others by the bottom gate. No parents are allowed on the premises. The class teacher will team up with a subject teacher and teach half the class at a time. No other teachers will be with each class. (The class teachers for 4th - 6th Grades will continue with distance learning.) Only one child per table. Playtimes will be staggered and masks worn during the breaks only. There was some more about the toilets and hand washing.

Many parents are scared and not sending their children. Some children live in families with at risk members. Some teachers live with at risk family members or are at risk themselves. So it's not compulsory. Teachers can opt to take sick leave although there is a certain amount of pressure not to.

My take is that it's a national experiment, with the children as the subjects. If it were known to be safe then everyone would go back. The economy has trumped health with the safety net of restricted school so that the hospitals will be able to handle a modest spike in corona cases.

As an overweight, older mother of an only child, single parent, with no immediate family in the country, this does not reassure me. I'm glad my 11 year old is in 6th Grade (and I am on unpaid leave from school) so I don't have to decide whether to allow her (or me) to be part of the experiment. But if I did have to decide... we have a balcony, I have enough money for another month in lockdown, and we are two people in a not tiny living space. I won't judge.

Israel Indepencence Day - R2BC

Here are my Reasons 2B Cheerful for this week. I missed last week as I had so many students' papers to grade. So even though very little has changed since two weeks ago, I don't want to miss another week. The Linky is with Becky on Lakes Single Mum (and I promise to go back and read all the posts from last week too.)

1
Independence Day
We're 72 years old! We celebrated on our balconies instead of in the national parks and on the beaches. The road outside my building has become the local synagogue as it was our neighbours who started the regular prayers.

On the eve of Independence Day a couple of guys came out with a harmonica, a guitar, and a microphone. We sang all the prayers together, then we sang some Israeli favourites, and we finished with Hatikva, the national anthem. It was much nicer than when we all troop up to the promenade for a rock concert and outrageously priced food and souvenirs.

We did miss the fireworks though.

2
Distance Learning
DD is really into her distance learning from school now that her friend's mum is there to help her. She's much more relaxed and she doesn't worry if she misses an assignment or two because she's getting most of it done. It's actually fantastic because she's occupied for the whole morning.

There's a lot of Zoom and video calling going on. Every so often she calls out from her bedroom: "Mummy! Don't come in, I'm in a meeting!"

3
The Wonders of Boredom
It took a whole month of nothing to do and nowhere to go but slowly slowly, DD has been tidying out her bedroom. Drawer by drawer, shelf by shelf. Every few days a couple of bags of clutter appear by the front door ready to be taken down to the bins.

And she's developed a love of the Windolene squirty bottle. So far the balcony doors, the kitchen window, her bedroom window and the mirrors in the bathroom have been cleaned.

I'm being as encouraging as I can whilst trying not to seem too happy about it or I know it will stop as suddenly as it started.

Have a good week y'all. Take care, stay safe and keep well.

I Discovered Sport

Although I've been out a couple of times this week to the bank and to the supermarket, DD hadn't left the apartment for over a week. She was quite happy staying in - we're an indoors sort of family. However, it's also been very cold and wet so the sitting on the balcony for a while every day, in the afternoon sun, to boost vitamin D wasn't happening.

This afternoon one of DD's friends asked her to go to the school with her roller blades. I also needed some fresh air and exercise so I went with her. DD's BFF was already there with her Dad and their dog. So they have to go out a few times a day to walk the dog anyway. The rule in Israel atm is that unorganised sport of no more than five people is allowed. And we are allowed to go for short walks in the nieghbourhood as long as we keep the 2 m distance.

Not only were we unorganised, we were disorganised as well so no rule broken there. DD and BFF went on their roller blades. The Dad had brought along a basketball and he was shooting hoops. I joined him. Not since school days have I played netball but I do remember that I liked being goal shooter best as I was ok at that - you didn't have to do much running.

It was actually fun. "Hey, this is fun!" I exclaimed. And a bit later as I chased the ball, "Hey look!, I'm running!" I know this is pathetic and I do keep meaning to get more active and fit but for the longest time I had bad knee problems - a bursitis and some other stuff. I couldn't run for ages but since then the knee things seem to have improved a lot.

Tbh, after a while shooting netballs did get boring but by then super-family had pulled out the frisbee. I took some photos of that while the dog took my place in the game.

Then it started to rain so we sheltered under the covered pergola, made some conversation phone calls, and went home. (Just kidding, of course we chatted.) We'd been out and active for two hours and here's the amazing thing.....

1. We felt happy and relaxed.
2. I served a late lunch and DD sat down and ate it all without a whole fuss about what she didn't like/want and what she wasn't going to eat.
3. For the rest of the afternoon we didn't have one blow up or even a tiny argument.

Obviously I knew the theory of this beforehand and I have tried to get DD outside during the week but she never wanted to and I didn't want her to come to the supermarket and bank with me, which were the only places I went to last week.

This coming week, we are so going for regular walks around the park.

Home Schooling In A Foreign Language

She started her education with so much promise. 

First lesson, 09.00 - 10.00 maths. We got off to a good start. The assignment was to complete five pages about area and one page starting the notion of volume. There wasn't actually much calculating to do but there was a lot of explanation and wordy word problems. This is our downfall as it takes us ages to work out what it means. I was with DD all the way - it's easier for me because at least I know the maths in advance. Needless to say I didn't get any of my work done.

10.00 is supposed to be a snack break. We missed it as we were still doing maths.

At 10.something history started. DD abandoned the rest of maths only half done. We went to the page in her history book and were horrified to see a double page article to read, in Hebrew of course, on the autonomy of the Judean State in Hellenistic Times. My cultural background at this age is A Day in the Life of a Viking. I was lost before we started.

The first question was: What does autonomy mean? That was easy. I wrote a sentence straight onto Google Translate and DD copied it into her history notebook.

Next, and final question: Describe the autonomy of Judea in the time of the Hellenic Empire. I went to Wikipedia in English, copy-pasted a paragraph onto Google Translate, edited it down, and DD photographed it with her cell phone. Done.

Before we got to the next subject - English, a message from the class teacher came through that there was a live interactive broadcast of something at 11.00 and they could tune in to it. I scanned the message and saw the word, "tosefet". That means it's an extra not an obligation. Phew. We didn't go there.

But we'd missed the start of English at 11.something.
DD: "Shall I do the English now or finish my maths?"
I thought it was better to get maths out of the way but DD was concerned because it was English time. Suddenly a message came through with a link to a maths quiz on percentages. You had to do it over and over until you got it all correct. I don't know if there was a time factor but the pressure was on and DD kept making mistakes. In the end I sat with her and told her the answers.

We had the 'shall I do English or maths?' discussion again. I insisted that she we I finish maths. Suddenly DD was asked via Whatsapp to write five good things that happened today. I had loads of great ideas: I didn't have to go out in the cold, rainy weather, for example.
DD:"No! That didn't happen. It has to be things that happened or we did."
Me: "I finished my maths and photographed my History and I'm going to do my English if I get a moment's peace from Whatsapp."
DD: "Mummy you're ridiculous."

In the end she looked at what everyone else was writing and copied a few of the others. Then I made lunch as it was already 2 pm and school was supposed to finish at 12.30. Then I made her do her English. Then I sat down to do some of my own work and found that I didn't have the energy.

And now we learned that today is the final day of home school. *DD dances around the apartment with joy.* Instead they are taking 9 days off the summer holiday, with the optimistic view that we will be returning to school after Pesach. *DD virtually in tears.* Life is indeed an emotional roller coaster atm. 

Lockdown Meltdown And Losing The Plot

The almond tree
in the school vegetable garden has blossomed.
We have not blossomed.

Yesterday I got up bright and early and ready to start the lockdown routine. I went to my school to collect all my books. DD had been to her school on Saturday evening to clear out her locker. (Yes, they told us to take EVERYTHING! What does that tell you about the thinking here? Kids were signed out once they had cleared their lockers.)

I didn't go to the bank on the way home because I was carrying a heavy load of books, so that's still to do, but not today.

DD was still in pyjamas when I got home, and watching You Tube. Her bedroom looked like a bomb had hit it with her bed unmade and all her school books everywhere.

I calmly continued with my planned schedule by setting up homework for my school pupils. Then I smugly filled in my Day Book about the morning's activities and went to make lunch. This is where it all started to fall apart.

DD didn't want any lunch and insisted on taking a bag of crisps instead. Later she came back for some cake. I said that I'm not buying any more sugar things because she eats them instead of proper food and it makes her irritable off-the-wall crazy mad. She screamed at me that I was talking rubbish. (She didn't see the irony.) She stomped off, I ate too much to calm my nerves. She hated me. I hated myself. And that was lunch on day 1.

In the afternoon I insisted that we watch a documentary together. We chose one about the history of astrology. She sat on her phone saying that it was boring. I was totally fascinated and spent the rest of the day watching more and more programmes about the link between astrology and religion. Then I fell asleep on the sofa.

DD did do some painting in the afternoon but she refused to enter into the spirit of the day book at all.

Day 2. I vowed to do better. We got up and I got dressed. DD: "Why? It's just a waste of clothes!" I had no answer.

At 09.00 DD had to sign in for school with an emoji on the class whatsapp expressing how she was feeling. They have 'classes' until 12.30 every day with the teachers available on email, whatsapp and phones. The first lesson this morning was English so we were cool.

I had set up a laptop for her on the dining table but luckily today's work was all in notebooks and on the phone. Others are reporting that so many kids are on the educational websites that they're all crashing. Other families are trying to juggle one computer amongst several kids and working at home parents. It's a jungle out there.

Next DD had geography and I had to set up two classes of work online in lieu of my lessons in college tomorrow. DD didn't understand what she had to do and neither did I - 6th grade Hebrew and all. She had a meltdown. I called one of her friends to ask. She screamed at me that I was embarrassing her. Now that I knew what it was about, I wrote down some reasons why we still need to save water despite desalination. She screamed at me that I don't know anything. I burst into tears. I wrote to the class teacher that I don't think we can do this.

Eventually we came up with a good rhyming couplet to encourage saving water and used google to check our Hebrew spelling. Part of the problem was seeing everyone else sending in great jingles. DD crumpled under the double pressure of writing something and then having everyone see it.

DD was finally happy. I had to eat a packet of crisps.

Then came Tenach (Bible Studies). This is not only in Hebrew, it's in biblical Hebrew (think Shakespeare for EFL students) and there's a website involved. We gave up.

I've not done any of my work but I'm exhausted and I've got a headache and I'm still a bit teary and fragile from the whole experience. I'm blogging to get it off my chest and then I'm going to find out more about Noah's Ark, Moses, Mithras, The Budha, Joseph and Jesus all being based on Pagan myths about the sun and the stars.

I'm done for the day, I'm done in, and it's only 11.30 am. We'll try again tomorrow.

No School Reality Sets In

Life was easier when this was school work.

Today was only the first day of no school and Friday is quasi-weekend so it doesn't really count. Thus, writing advice about how to deal with no school perhaps seems a tad premature. However, I've something to say and a platform so I'm going to say it. And when the UK and US close their schools, maybe someone will remember this post.

Last night DD was dancing around the apartment with joy, chatting to her friends on whatsapp, and generally on a high, not believing her luck.

I admit that I was quite liking the idea of all that time at home to pursue my own interests without daily work obligations, even though I'm very happy in my jobs. But then reality set in. We will have obligations.

It very quickly became apparent that the children and students will have online work to complete. Teachers with little knowledge of how to create online courses, are suddenly required to put assignments, quizzes, lessons, presentations, etc... on various education platforms that they are not familiar with and the children/students do not know how to navigate.

Read this article. https://anygoodthing.com/2020/03/12/please-do-a-bad-job-of-putting-your-courses-online/?fbclid=IwAR191aF-odPx9L6PrGe03ACmyjKPFyDC__xuWpZAfn9pV8qfj7cZ5HD5_ns

It explains exactly what I was thinking. Not all pupils have access to computers, printers, cameras, and any other tech devices. Some of them are working on their phones which we all know is inconvenient and frustrating to say the least. Most of them are sharing a computer with other pupils, students and parents working from home. Devices go wrong or break, and then they're even more handicapped.

Some of them may be looking after younger siblings or helping to care for sick relatives. They may not have a quiet place to work or a parent who can help them. Scheduled meet-up lessons are a no-no.

Some of them may be stuck at home with people with anger issues or who are abusive. Some children's only respite is when they escape to school. Some children only get their square meals provided for them by the school. There may be emotional issues that prevent school work from getting done. Don't expect them to work to deadlines.

DD's teacher sent a beautiful graphic of a schedule where pupils could write in what they did each day against a list of eight things: morning routine, something educational, physical exercise, reading, Pesach cleaning (spring cleaning), screen time, a family activity, and evening routine.

Then there was a meal schedule where you could write in whose turn it is to help prepare the meal, cut the vegetables, lay the table, clear away and do the dishes. Good for a family of four or more, not so relevant to our family of two. We just do it all together. I just do it.

I think it's a great idea in theory but every family is different. We are not good at sticking to schedules or having routines. We are a very laid back family. We fulfill our obligations on the fly and rely heavily on the panic monster. We waste hours just hanging out. We look forward to Friday afternoon and then 'POOF!' the weekend is gone before we even did anything. We're not tech savvy and we're not crafty. Being expats, we don't even know the language that well. (DD was born here but we live an English life.)

I dread what's coming. I'm already composing my opting out letter in my head. Home schooling would be a disaster for us. Maybe we'll have to change. I always wanted to be highly disciplined and self-motivated but I know myself and unfortunately for her, DD has learned my lifestyle well.

I too have to set work for my pupils and students. I'm feeling the pressure as all heads of departments seem to think we'll have it up and running by Monday - all seven classes in my case! (Luckily one of my courses is already online).

I'm going to think about it very carefully. I intend for us to go to the park every day and use the work-out equipment, I would like us to watch a tv documentary every day on whatever takes DD's fancy, I'd like to take up the recorder again but I don't think DD will go for it. We will definitely do the spring cleaning. Maybe cook together, except that she only like pasta with cheese (no sauce), tuna salad, and sausages and chips.

I'll let you know what happens.

Beautiful Numbers - R2BC

02022020

Here are my Reasons 2B Cheerful for this week. The linky seems to have died but then again, linkies were so last decade. 

1
Palindrome Day
The following announcement is for your enjoyment and because I don't want you to miss it.

Today, 02/02/2020, the date is a perfect palindrome using the full eight digits. The last time this happened was in 11/11/1111 over 909 years ago! How cool is that? Very.

From now on there will be a full palindrome in February for anyone outside of the USA, for the next 2 years: 12/02/2021 and 22/02/2022. After that we'll have to wait until 2030 for 03/02/2030 and every 10 ten years for 04/02/2040, etc... until 09/02/2090.

Americans will have to work out their own and actually, they've already had a few this century that don't apply to the rest of the world.

The special thing about today is that it's Full Palindrome Day for everyone, whichever system of Gregorian calendar dates you use. This will not happen for another 100 years on 12/12/2121.

(Thank you to Alina Theodor for correcting me and to Jill Yonassi for pointing out that there are quite a few more full palindrome dates in our lifetimes to look forward to, for non-Americans at least.)

2
Income Tax
Every January you have to fill in an income tax form for your employer. I work for three employers so I have to do it three times. It's not a big deal but ironically, it was less of a deal when you just got the paper and could fill it in. Now you have to have a password, find the form online, download it because you can't fill in a pdf file, and when you've filled it in it's not accepted because your particular circumstances aren't recognised by the computer, and finally you have to sign it. I don't know how to sign on the computer. So I end up printing it out and faxing copies to the various offices instead.

Because I work in three places I also have to get a Tax Coordination form for each employer. Until now I've always taken the bus ride to the tax office and got the forms in my hand there and then. Until recently online applications would still need to be processed and the Tax coordination Forms sent to you by snail mail, taking up to two weeks of anxiety about whether you're actually going to get them.

This year my neighbour told me that it's now an instant an online calculator, You fill in the form (just one form), click on submit and you instantly get all the forms you meed for each employer. And what's really amazing is that you can just email them on. Whilst this news was exhilarating and liberating, it was also giving me butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Remember that I have to do all this in not my native language, a language with a different alphabet and it doesn't even use vowels! For example, stp could be step, stoop, stop, setup situp, shutup, stiff, stuff, staff, setoff, shutoff, shotup, etc... (because s and sh are the same letter and so are p and f). While I was dithering I received all three Tax Coordination forms from the tax office with the notice that if nothing has changed since last year, they will continue with the same agreement.

So that's all the January tax forms done and dusted.

3
End of semester
It's the end of the first semester. I finished writing all my reports and sent them in on time. I wrote my semester summaries for each class. I wrote the mid-year exams for my students and they're ready to give out on Tuesday. I'm up to date with all my grading. We now have four weeks of no teaching at college for mid-semester exam period and break. (I get five weeks because the festival of Purim falls on my college day.) I still have meetings on College days but no teaching. Although I will still be teaching at school.

4
The Tweenager
I wrote a sentence about DD's report. No details, just a general comment. But then I deleted it because.... ya know, she's entitled to her privacy. Like most things, there's no set age by which things have to change. Everyone is different and you know when it's time to make changes. It's a feeling not a number.

I Did DD's Maths Homework

I know it's a mess. Don't judge me, it was traumatic. 

DD came home with maths homework. Geometry to be precise. I love maths and geometry was always my favourite part of maths. I have also been a maths teacher in my time and I once co-authored a series of maths textbooks for primary school (published by HarperCollins although never actually used but that's another story*). So I offered to help her. She needed help as she didn't understand all the technical terms in Hebrew. Neither did I but at least I understand them in English.

So I'm translating all the technical words with the Google Translate. Meanwhile DD is screaming at me that I don't understand and that I'm doing it wrong. She was totally out of control. It was hard to concentrate. I'm saying, "listen to me, I'll explain," while she's shouting, "no you listen to me - I DON'T GET IT!" You can see how this might take us round in circles. And it did, until I had to send her out of the room and do the homework myself.

I figured that it's ok if I do it providing I explain it to her afterwards so that she understands. It's not ideal but this is the only way we can work. If I show her the answer on the page, she calms down a bit and will listen to the explanation. She cannot watch me working it out as it makes her panic and get hysterical in case I'm doing it wrong.

I worked out that makbilim are parallels and me'unahim are right angles. But now I'm looking at the words, I think it might be the other way around. Alexonim are diagonals, and tzla'im are lines, I know that much. I'd recognise the word for angles if I saw it but it didn't come up in this exercise. It begins with a z.

I kept getting the words muddled up so some of the answers were written after the wrong questions. When you're counting parallel diagonals and perpendicular lines on multi-angled shapes, you need to use different colours on the diagram otherwise you can't keep track. So I employed some pens. Pens don't rub out. The page looks a bit of a mess but all the answers are there - somewhere. Except for two questions which I understood but didn't know what the teacher wanted them to answer: How do you check that two lines are parallel? How do you check that two lines are perpendicular? I don't need to check on a hexagon (meshusheh if you're interested), I can see by looking.

My co-authored maths books for Year 5

I invited DD back to the table to explain my answers to her. She was upset by the messy page but she did understand the geometry in the end. Putting the maths page back into her bag she said casually, "now I need to do my Hebrew homework. Will you help me?" I just couldn't deal with any more of DD's homework tonight. She actually said she could do it herself but she didn't feel like it after doing all that maths. Excuse me? She is so doing it herself tomorrow evening.

*The other story. The books were ahead of their time, using computer programmes in parallel to the books before most pupils had access to a computer for more than one hour a week. This maths programme required an hour of maths with a computer every week when the one weekly computer session in school had to cover all subjects.

R2BC - Proud Mother

Preparing for Chonchut

Reasons 2B Cheerful for this week are all about DD.

We have a something in Israeli schools called Chonchut (with both ch's being a raspy sound at the back of your throat). The nearest translation I could think of is 'mentoring' as the root of the word is the same as guide and educate.

I first heard of it when DD was in first grade and once a month on a Friday morning, two fourth grade girls would do some fun activities with her and a friend. The whole class was divided into groups of two first graders with two fourth graders. One day we were walking out of school and DD ran over to give a hug to an older girl. When I asked she said, "oh, that's one of my Chonchot (mentors, pl,f) for chonchut (mentoring, n)." I know it sounds like a throat disease if you're not used to it.

The way it works is that the fifth graders are paired with the second graders and the sixth graders are paired with the third graders. Last year in fourth grade, DD was a chonechet (mentor, s,f) for first grade. I remember one Friday when her partner didn't come to school and she had nothing planned. I was very proud that she used her initiative and they chose board games from the class library which the Chanichot (mentorees, pl,f) enjoyed. And one day, as we were leaving school, a little girl ran over to give her quick hug. Her Chanicha (mentoree, s,f) of course. [*wipes a tear at how fast they grow up.]

 

Hanukkah Bingo with prizes
(After play so some pictures are crossed or ticked instead of using counters.)

This week DD had to organise an activity for her second grade chonchot. Her partner had not been in school for a few days so she took it all upon herself. She spent a long time making a Bingo game with Hanukkah symbols. She told me she also needed something active and I shared a Hanukkah game we used to play in my Youth Club when I was a teenager.

It was all a great success.

And on Friday DD came home with the monthly class prize for good work, kindness and patience towards her friends. I didn't know about the prize until I got an email from the teacher tonight saying that she was proud of DD. Apparently DD 'forgot' to mention it.

So from one proud mother, have a good week and if you're looking for more R2BC, the linky is over at Michelle's Mummy from the Heart.

Holiday Families And Fasting For Love - R2BC

5. Living in the Desert.
I went to visit my friend who lives in the desert.
Seriously, the real desert is at the end of her street. 

Lots of reasons 2B Cheerful this week despite the seemingly overwhelming hateful, political events happening in the world. The linky is with Michelle on Mummy from the Heart where we celebrate the small things every week.

On Sunday there is fast Day in the Jewish world. It's the second biggest fast day after Yom Kippur. It's supposed to commemorate the destruction of both the first and the second Temple in Jerusalem. And they added a load of other sad or tragic events to make a day of religious mourning. Delve a bit deeper and we can find reasons to make Tisha B'Av (the 9th of Av) a day we can all relate to.

They say that the Temples were destroyed as the result of baseless hatred among people. I suppose it meant among Jews in particular but let's be inclusive in this day and age. Either it means as a punishment from God or as a natural result of baseless hatred - take your pick. I can relate to a fast against baseless hatred. So.....

1
Tisha B'av
I'm going to fast on Sunday in solidarity with all those fasting against baseless hatred in the world and all those suffering from it. Not a reason 2B cheerful as such but a positive action. Of course I don't just fast, I also try to spread the love in real life and do my bit on social media to protest wrongs and get the truth out there where there is injustice.

The real desert

2
Work work
One intensive summer course is over bar the grading of papers. I really enjoyed it. 25 hours of frontal teaching to the same group of students in a week is exhausting but it was also a good experience. A certain amount of bonding happens when you're with one group for 25 hours within five days. And there is no time for anyone to lose momentum so they all worked hard and they will all pass once they send in their final  projects (bar any surprises with the grading).

For me it was an unexpected extra paycheck in the summer. I've already spent it of course as we need a desktop computer that DD can use and I promised her a smart phone for 5th grade.

3
House work
Yeah I know, but I've done practically nothing all week and it's nice to see the bottom of the kitchen sink and the laundry basket again. Seriously - we were washing up cups on a need to use basis. (I admit that this is where hoarders come into their own.) Next stop the bathroom.

4
Summer Holiday Families
We have our summer holiday family. We love them and we are grateful for them. Any single parent with an only child will know that holidays can be disappointing. I'm not talking about a trip to London or other places where there's lot's to do. I mean a traditional beach and pool break in a hot climate.

In a family with two adults and more than one child the adults have help and company, and the kids have playmates. But try taking your pre-teen to play in a pool or on the sand for hours by herself. It doesn't work unless you also want to spend hours playing with her. Call me a bad mother, but after a couple of hours I've had enough, let alone repeating it for days without another adult to step in so that you can at least read your book for a bit. Think of it like one parent taking one of the kids away. See what I mean? It wouldn't work.

So we have our Summer  Holiday Family. We go to the beach together, we go to the pool together, we're going camping for three days (yurting actually), we go to the zoo, the water park, and we even just stroll into town together of an evening to eat out. It's a simple concept but essential and we love it.

Work, Play, Stretch And Shop - R2BC

DD has discovered the joys of gymnastics.
I remember it so well.

Okay so it's not coming home but that's no reason not 2B cheerful. Life goes on and here are my Reasons 2B Cheerful for this week. The linky ladies are with Michelle this month on Mummy from the Heart.

1
Football Crazy
I was passionate about football for a whole 2 hours. Possibly less as I only joined the semi-final at half time. Although I was caught up in all that "Football's Coming Home" excitement and I have been singing it all week. (Note to self: Try to stop singing it now. Time for a new song.)

Someone on facebook posted a link to live coverage so I went there and was hooked even though I missed the first England goal. I saw the equalizer. Then I got bored. Even I could see that England weren't playing very well. I was flicking about between websites and I missed the second Croatia goal. But I was hopeful until the bitter end. However, England will be 3rd or 4th in the World Cup - that's still world cup football. And at least we weren't beaten by France, eh?

2
What Holiday?
I've said before that I'm always surprised in July when the college semester finishes and the work doesn't. Well my July just got more worked up as next week I'm standing in for another teacher on a summer course (another one as well as the one I'm already facilitating online). It was all at the last minute (personal reasons) but I've suddenly got to come up with 25 hours of frontal teaching from Sunday till Thursday.

This time next week I'll be extremely happy (never mind cheerful) as I send in my hours to the college bursar.

3
Latch-key Kid
DD has been taking her door key to summer school with her and I've been free to come home leisurely instead of racing against the clock. Still loving the new sense of freedom and life is so much less stressful without this rigid time constraint. I don't stay out all afternoon but I can be an hour late and she's fine. It's great that she can call me on my mobile - what did we do without them?

4
Independence Day - The Movie
Well not that actual movie but a different movie. This week DD went to the cinema with a friend. The friend's Dad took them, bought the tickets and made sure they went to the right screen. Then he left and they walked home together after the film. We're lucky that we have a Planet Cinema complex about 20 minutes walk away, along the main road. DD loved the whole experience. And so did I.

New watch.
I'm left handed and wear it on my left wrist.
This makes taking the photo tricky.
#rubbishphotographerstrikesagain #outoffocus

5
Which Watch?
After wearing DD's Barbie pink watch with a plastic strap, for weeks now, I finally bought myself a new watch. It looks more expensive than it is - which was the goal.

Does anyone know what film this comes from? My Dad used to quote it all the time.
Two men meet in an Arab shuk.
A: Which watch?
B: Two watch.
A: Two watch? Such much?!

6
Olga Korbut
DD is into gymnastics. More about that later but the photo above is pretty much standard at any given moment, if she's not perfecting her splits or doing a backbend.

Wishing you a great weekend and a cheerful week ahead. 

Shhhh It's 4.30 A.M.

Gardening on the balcony

One thing I am determined not to do this summer holiday is to let DD and I waste the whole nine weeks doing nothing. By doing nothing I mean eating, sleeping, and watching screens. DD's last day of school was Friday. She finished at noon and went off to her youth club for a couple of hours (the final meeting of the year). She came home to throw her shoes off, scrutinize her end of year report card (it was fine) and then crumple into the back of the sofa with her tablet where she marveled about how she could theoretically stay there for two months.

I let her have Shabbat to wallow in a false sense of security and then I burst her bubble. But in order to follow through with my dastardly plan I had to also get myself ready. On Saturday night I did the dishes in the sink, folded and put away all the clean laundry, and generally tidied up the whole apartment. This should be a nightly activity I know, I've seen all the You Tube vlogs. Trouble is, these You Tubers are full time, professional You Tubers. All they have to do all day is wash the dishes, fold the laundry and tidy up and then they sit at the computer for eight hours editing the footage. When I'm working I just about get some supper on the table for DD and I'm done for the night. Every three days or so we run out of dishes so I have to wash up.

Anyhoo, back to the holiday. On Sunday morning I woke up to a clean and tidy home which meant I was ready to hit the ground running rather than spend all morning doing the previous night's chores. DD was home for the day as her Summer School starts tomorrow. (It's a day camp till 1 pm for three weeks.) I did have some work to do on my own summer course (facilitating not taking) and trying to get my year course students to finish already by issuing a final final absolutely non-negotiable extended time. And then I dragged DD out to the plant nursery.

Remember those celebrations and projects I embarked on in January? No? Oh all right then. Well April was supposed to be making the balcony bloom. More about that another day because DD had actually made a start on it, but we combined the continuation with the first project of the summer and off we went.

Two 'trees' waiting for permanent housing.

I'd popped in earlier in the week to ask if they make deliveries and they do. Like kids in a toy shop we picked out what we wanted and I didn't even look at the prices. I collected all the planters, chose a 'tree' for inside (now that I have so much space to fill), and found out how much soil we needed to buy. DD went forth with a cardboard box to collect the plants she wanted. I let her get on with it. Apart from being told by the man (what is he - the horticulturist?) which plants are suitable for a west facing balcony in the Middle East, she had free reign to choose any 10 plants she fancied. We have room for so many more but we also have seeds and we want to try growing our own as well as just using transplants *giggle*.

Having walked in the heat of the day to the plant nursery we were more than happy to accept a ride home from the delivery man. And then we got to work. I say we, but I had some emails to attend to and DD was more than capable. I commandeered a few of  the planters for specific things and she dealt with the rest. We've not finished but DD has done her bit and she had a swimming lesson to go to so we left the rest for me to do today.

We walked to swimming. DD had a private lesson because her swimming partner has broken his arm. I'm only mentioning this because it's much more exhausting to have a private lesson than to share a lesson. We walked home via the felafel shop and bought supper. DD was starving as apart from all the exercise, I suddenly realized that she'd only eaten a bowl of watermelon for breakfast and a banana before swimming. We seem to have forgotten about lunch.

And then we couldn't keep our eyes open We both got into bed at 7.30. Suddenly we weren't tired at all so we laughed about that and five minutes later DD was asleep. Ten minutes later it was 3 am so I guess I also fell asleep. I rolled over and went back to sleep for a while but eventually got up at 4.30 feeling ever so virtuous and Miracle Morning. It's now actually 6 am. DD is still asleep. I'm going to finish this blog and then ...... well I have to do last night's dishes in the sink, finish gardening, do some work on my Summer Course, get DD off to Summer School at 8, and meet a friend for coffee at 10.

So summer so good.

I'm Free-ish!

We have entered a new era here at the Selby household. Whole new vistas have opened up for both me and DD. And we didn't plan any of it.

DD's school finishes at 2.20 on Sunday afternoons, after which she has an art class in school followed by the Learning Lab until 5pm. My school finishes at 2.55 and it takes me an hour to get home on the bus. (On the days when DD has no after school activities, she goes to an afternoon programme costing £100 per month.)

Today both art and the Learning Lab were cancelled. I was going to call the afternoon programme teacher and ask if DD could go today for a couple of hours. I've done it before, it's not a problem.

However, on Wednesday evening she is playing in a concert. She and a friend have a duet which they have to practice together and today after school was the only opportunity. The friend is not in any afternoon programmes and goes home by herself on the bus at 2.20. We live opposite the school.

The best solution was for me to give DD a front door key and let her and her friend come to our place after school. I wasn't a hundred percent comfortable with it but it was the only solution.

At 2.20 I was teaching a class of 4th Grade girls at my school. I asked them how many of them have a front door key and go home by themselves, letting themselves into an empty house. 25 hands went up. Right. Ok then.

I let them out early as I was anxious to get home. I left school at 2.50 and was about to call home when I met a parent I wanted to speak to. Then I stopped to chat to another parent. Well it was outside the school gates at home-time so obviously I'd meet the parents. Then my bus came pretty promptly so it wasn't until I was on the bus that I could make that phone call. But actually, I was confident by then that if I'd not heard from DD (via her friend's phone) that she can't open the door or she's lost the key, then all was probably ok.

I called and guess what, it was fine. They were at home eating crisps and playing, Not playing the clarinet and flute as they were supposed to, but you can't have everything. More importantly, they were safely inside the apartment.

I often leave DD at home alone if I pop out to the shops and she also walks home from school by herself as we live opposite the school. But this was the first instance of latchkey-kid life. And I like it.

I sat on the bus knowing that next year we will be saving £100 a month on the afternoon programme. This made me happy enough but then I realized that even from tomorrow, by putting a door key into the secret pocket of DD's schoolbag, I no longer have to worry if I'm delayed getting home, I can get off the bus and go shopping on my way home after school, I can go out for coffee on a Friday morning and be back around the same time as DD - give or take 10 minutes. The pressure to finish everything I'm doing by the clock according to DD's schedule has just vanished. I'M FREE-ish!

Proud And Prepared - Final R2BC Of 2017

It's the last R2BC of 2017. I missed a couple of weeks because we were away (sorry Becky) but now I'm back on the blog and gearing up for the New Year. Here are my Reasons 2B Cheerful. I've also linked up o the Host Post (her words but I liked it) at Becky's Lakes Single Mum, as usual (except for the past two weeks).

1
Parents' Evening
DD's was on Tuesday. This is my second attempt at writing this section because I decided that too much bragging in not becoming on a blog. Surffice to say that DD has made amazing progress since two years ago when we had a crisis about her weak Hebrew. Her English is excellent (obviously), her maths is very good, and even her Hebrew is now at a good level. These are the three subjects I care about. Well not so much Hebrew but she needs it to get through school.

We chose our teachers carefully. After getting rave reports from the class teacher and the librarian who gives Hebrew enrichment classes twice a week to a small group who need it, we decided to give the music teacher a miss and visit the art teacher for a friendly chat. We knew that was the safer choice. Likewise we didn't bother the science teacher, the drama teacher or the sports teacher.

Most important of all were the lovely comments about good behaviour, respect, and attitude to her work. I've said it before, but I have noticed a big jump in maturity this year. We came home proud and happy.

2
Year of Amazingness
I'm gearing up for the New Year. It's an even number, 2018. The even numbers are so much bigger and better and full of hope in my opinion. (Odd numbered years are sort of half-years and I can't muster up much enthusiasm for them - I  know, I'm mad.)

Inspired by my R2BC posts, my cousin gave me a 2018 year planner for Hanukkah. I always look longingly at them in the shops but then I remember that my weeks need to start on a Sunday, I need Sunday to be a full day, and I need all the Hebrew dates and holidays. But this diary caught my imagination.

Firstly, 2018 starts on a Monday so it's just the weeks of the year from the beginning. Sundays have equal space to the other six days. And most importantly I suddenly realized that this does not have to be my diary. It's my planner for projects and goals. It will be for far loftier things than appointments and when DD has a birthday party to attend.

There are all sorts of exciting pages to fill - notes and lists, whole month views, weeks on a page, and fun quotes from the creator, Rachel Bright. I am going to thoroughly enjoy 2018. And change my life, recreate myself, etc... of course.

R2BC - The Surprise Party

Top Bunk!
She's pretending to be asleep for this photo, I can see her smiling. 

The working week is over for me on Thursday afternoon (I go back to school on Sunday morning), apart from all the work I have to do at home, and the shopping, and the cooking, and the cleaning. But apart from all that.... Seriously though, if I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn and get us both out of the house before 7.30 am, I don't count it as working. Here are my reasons 2B cheerful for this past week. The linky has moved back to Becky's Lakes Single Mum for December and I'm on it as usual.

1
DD turned nine on Monday. She had a lovely birthday and actually, she ended up with three different celebrations.

I'm still getting my head around the fact that nine years have gone by since she was born. As I'm an older mother, I'd had over 20 years of total independence. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. All I had to do was make my arrangements for myself and lock my front door behind me. I didn't even have to leave a note for anyone. Now I've had nine years of not making a move without factoring DD into the equation - where will she be? Who will she be with? What will she do? What will she eat? Will she be happy? Will she be bored? Will she be too tired? Will she be warm enough?

I know all mothers live with multiple lives to consider, and some of them do it for decades if they have large families, but for me it was a new experience. It's complicated sometimes but I like it.

2
On Tuesday I had to be in school from 4 to 8pm for parent-teacher meetings. The day was a study in logistic planning from reorganising my college timetable to making arrangements for DD so that she could go to club, be taken to Sarit's house, stay overnight with Sarit, be taken to school in the morning with a classmate, and not have to schlep her clarinet everywhere with her after the clarinet lesson on Tuesday morning.

My first R2BC is that it all went like clockwork. Thank you team!

3
I knew that Sarit was going to have a cake and candles for DD as Tuesday was the day after her birthday. And I knew that she had a gift for her. So I'm sitting at school, bored stiff because only 15 parents came to see me in four hours! And it was not one family every 15 minutes. It was more like 10 families in the first hour and a half and another five families spread over the remaining two and a half hours. Anyhoo, I suddenly see Whatsapp messages coming through with photos of a proper birthday party happening at Sarit's place.

She had invited the rest of our 'created family' group (we are five mothers and five children but one family is away atm) for tea and birthday celebrations. I was really touched as it was a total surprise. DD was so happy. The only negative thing was that I couldn't be there.

4
This one is DD's. She got the top bunk for the night at Sarit's. Her first time on a top bunk. She was thrilled.

The Weather, The Wedding, And The Sleepover

Today it was 37 degrees C in Jerusalem. That's 98.6 in old money. The day before it was 36 and tomorrow they are forecasting a blessed relief of only 35 degrees. I hate the heat more than most and we don't have air conditioning in our apartment. So this is how I cope:

I leave home with DD at 8 am. She goes to her Summer School program and I go into my college (both are down the road). I sit in the cool A/Ced teachers' room or in the library, and do my work. Then I collect DD at 1 pm and we come home to basically do nothing until the weather breaks at about 6 pm. That's the thing about Jerusalem, it gets cooler in the evening, unlike in other places in Israel where you can be sweltering in high humidity all night. I guess then you do need to have air conditioning. I'm happy to rest during the day and get up at night.

It's now 11.15 and DD has just gone to sleep as, like me, she's a night owl. We both slept for over an hour in the afternoon so I'm now wide awake. I like this informal chatty style of blogging but I do need to catch up on the events of last week.

The Sunday before last I was invited to a wedding on Kibbutz Shluchot just south of Tiberius and the Sea of Gallilee. To cut a long story short, the groom's little sister had her Bat Mitzva on the Shabbat before the wedding and lots of people joined them for the whole weekend for the double celebration. Most of our mutual friends are close family or close friends with the groom's family so it was going to be hard to find someone driving up to the wedding on the Sunday from Jerusalem. I've also come to the conclusion that sometimes it's easier to just take public transport and be your own boss. I was actually looking forward to travelling on my own without having to entertain DD on the journey.

The bus traveled up the valley road that follows the Jordan River. We left Jerusalem on the east side and drove towards The Dead Sea. Then, with a view of The Dead Sea to our right which I was on the wrong side of the bus to get a photo of, we turned left towards Jericho. Passing the turnoff to the Alemby Bridge Crossing on our right, we continued north towards Bet She'an. The mountains rose out of the dessert landscape and were spectacular in the late afternoon sun. I took photos from the bus like a crazy tourist. I was mesmerized. You know I go for greenery rather than deserts, so I don't quite know what came over me.

Friends (a couple and another friend who also happens to be my brother-in-law who came for the celebrations) had spent the day at a guest house near the kibbutz and they met me from the bus so that I could go back and change at their place. We then went to the wedding together.

There were about a dozen of us who'd been teenage friends back in the UK and had been living in Israel for now 30 years or more. We get all nostalgic and it's as if no time at all has passed. Except that many of them are now passing round photos of their grandchildren on their smartphones. As a young mother myself, I indulge them and they indulge me talking about DD.

After the chupa (literally the wedding canopy) I phoned DD to see how she was getting on at her first sleepover that wasn't at my sister's with her cousins. She gave me a whole speech on the phone about how she doesn't miss me at all and she doesn't know what's happened to her because she's very happy to sleep there.... "and it's not just because I don't have a choice!" Hooray! We have entered a new era. What's more, my friend had her hairwashed and in bed by 9 pm. I must find out how she did that.

I came back south after the wedding in the car with friends and my b-i-l and the two of us stayed overnight with them in their house just outside Jerusalem, coming into Jerusalem for work with them in the morning. Apart from the fact that I had to then spend the day in school teaching, I felt like I'd had a mini holiday. Reconnected and relaxed.

Thanks Sarit for having DD to stay. Thank you Julie and Boaz for taking me and bringing me back and having me to stay overnight. Thanks Jonny and Sari for a wonderful wedding. Mazal Tov to Rebecca on your Bat Mitzva. And Mazal Tov to Ben and Tehilla on your marriage. I hope that in 30 years time you will be celebrating weddings with the same friends you danced with at yours - like we are.