The Bat Mitzva

It wasn't what we had planned by a long shot. However, a series of intimate events, which by their size hardly warrant being called events, turned out to be fun and ticked most of the boxes.

DD's class capsule (bubble) of half her class meet up in the school playground once a week for an activity. It's her first year in middle school and after two months of remote learning they realized that some students knew nobody in the class. The outdoor lessons, though educational, are primarily a social exercise to help them make friends. 

I secretly arranged with the teacher to bring in cupcakes and chocolate milk for their mid-morning break. I was given permission providing all food items were individually wrapped. DD was horrified when I turned up with the treats on Wednesday morning, about an hour after she had left home. "What are you doing?! Stop!" I left them to it as their break wasn't until later. A very happy DD called me on her way home. 

Cupcakes from Sweet Art Creations 

On Thursday evening we invited four friends from primary school to a pizza and dessert (more cupcakes) party. I disappeared into my bedroom and let them get on with it. The first half hour was spent zooming with the three friends who were avoiding indoor gatherings (and one who had moved to America). It was a great success and we promised to do it again (without cupcakes or gifts) as soon as the covid situation is over. Or in the park when the weather is more predictable.  

On Friday we recieved fruit platters from my sister in London and from a group of my friends here in Israel. And a bouquet of flowers, fancy chocolates and helium balloons from my sister-in-law, also in London. 

A friend and her daughter came to stay for Shabbat. We spent Friday night after dinner, playing Perudo and Rumikub. On Saturday morning we went to a Bar Mitzva in the morning and returned home in the afternoon for lunch and more board games. 

On Saturday evening we zoomed with the family in London. 

And finally, we have six guests coming to light Chanuka candles with us on Wednesday evening. This isn't strictly Bat Mitzva related but they were supposed to come for brunch on the Friday morning of the Bat Mitzva and DD's actual 12th birthday but two of them were in quarantine and another two were preparing for their Bar Mitzva the next day. The other two were staying for Shabbat so we postponed the brunch until Chanuka. 

As the shopping malls have opened this week, we are going shopping for clothes one day this week. I told DD she can have whatever she wants. After all, despite the temptation, it wouldn't be fair to use the whole of the Bat Mitzva fund, which I've saved up over the past two years, to pay my council tax and building dues for 2021. 

 

Some R2BC And The Crisis To Come

First day of 7th Grade. This is all I got.

I only blogged once in August because there was little to say. We watched Netflix and You Tube, we had dinner a couple of times with friends, DD went to one Bat Mitzva party (a picnic in the Botanical Gardens), she had a friend over a couple of times, and we got fat. That was our summer. Reason 2B Cheerful - we didn't get corona. 

Today is my birthday. I'm nearer 50 than 40 (and always will be). So that's one Reason 2B Cheerful. And another is that we're invited out to dinner tonight. 

DD is back at school for four days a week for half days. This week she was in the second shift - 10.50 am till 2.20 pm. Next week she'll be in the 8 am till 10.20 group. The second shift isn't so good. They have more school hours but there's a lot of hanging around in the morning waiting to leave. It's only a 12 minute walk to her school. 

Only on Fridays it's different because the school closes at 12.30 pm for the weekend. I thought she had a 10.20 start this morning so I didn't hassle her about the time. Suddenly she flies into a panic at 9.40 because that was when her first lesson started. I had no idea. She ran out of the house crying to run up the hill (it's a mountain) in 35 deg C heat. She'll be ok but I felt for her. It's not nice to have to walk in late in the first week of a new school. 

On Sunday and Monday she has distance learning from home for the full 6 hours. It's a R2BC that DD has some sort of schedule again, even if it requires keeping on the ball to know where she should be and when. 

Israel has gone from being among the best coping countries during the first wave, to being the worst as of this week. We are now the top country for the number of new cases in relation to population. R2BC - I did an online supermarket shop and we have enough food in the apartment to see us through the threatened lockdown in the coming weeks. 

Did I mention that my salary a my college has been reduced by 60% for the same amount of work? I'm prepared to take one for the team during this crisis but the great terms of employment we had BC (Before Corona) will never be reinstated AD (After Disaster). What we have now is what most colleges do and have done for years. I enjoyed extremely generous terms for 10 years and now it's over forever. R2BC - thanks for the great first 10 years. 

I'm not panicking about the salary situation because there are about 3 million people in this country who are worse off than me. People in service industries, tourism and all 'non-essentials' related jobs. All these people have either lost their jobs or are on greatly reduced income. People who rent and have a number of children to feed. People in the early years of a large mortgage. Older people who might never find work again. This is not a R2BC but the government will not allow half the country to be homeless and starving so solutions will be found. This is a Reason 2B Hopeful.

I read that the real economic crisis won't hit until next spring when we'll have the beginnings of people using up all their savings and redundancy money, and unemployment payments stop (you only get a year of dole money here). 

My nephew tried to explain to me that he heard from an economist (his brother) that because it's a world wide phenomenon, governments will be allowed to print more money without devaluing their currencies as long as all countries print the same amount of money. This money can be used for stimulus projects and income support. So R2BC - we will cope and we will survive. 

The sad thing is that these drastic stimulus measures will only be implemented when most people have used up all their savings. They will survive but all dreams of a better future (buying a better property or even just getting on the property ladder, opening a business, a comfortable retirement, etc...) will have been dashed and we will have to start from scratch. Or maybe a more modest world will be good for all of us. R2BC? I'm not sure. 

So amongst the doom, about eight or nine Reasons 2B cheerful or at least grateful and hopeful. And this is why I've not blogged for the past few weeks.

A last R2BC is that the R2BC linky is back on Becky's blog - Lakes Single Mum. Check her out for beautiful photos of Kendal and The Lakes. 

DD 11 - R2BC

We kept a copy for ourselves without the sunglasses.

If you understand the title of this blog then you've been here before. Anyway DD turned 11 last week. Scarily grown up but also still a little girl in many ways. And nothing of the baby years left.

We're usually in London for Hanuka which is on or around the time of DD's birthday, so I (or Grandma) take her to a show or a pantomime, Grandma has a birthday cake and a birthday tea with the family, and there are lots of presents. The birthday is sort of swallowed up among all the seasonal festivities.

This year we went to London in September for my brother's wedding so we're not going for Hanuka. And anyway, Hanuka is late this year, falling over Christmas week. DD felt she needed to give me instructions about how to do her birthday. "I don't need a cake," she informed me, "but you need to get me a present."
"Fine, got it, thanks."

Of course I was going to get her a present anyway. She needed a new backpack just the right size for school outings. Her regular school bag is too big and the front bit that unzips to form a small backpack for outings, is too small. (What a waste of money that idea was.) Off I went into town like Goldilocks, looking for a backpack that was just right.

Not being much of a present, I set about buying other gifts to fill it with. I bought a new watch; an alarm clock (because I want the phones out of the bedrooms at night - I got a smaller alarm clock for myself as well); a small over the shoulder bag for when she goes out and just needs her keys, phone, and some money; two books in Hebrew because she needs to start reading more in Hebrew; a back scrubber for the shower; a big bottle of moisturiser for her bedroom and a smaller tube of moisturiser for her bag; a hair accessory; and some orange Tic-tacs to take the number of gifts to 11.

Reader, she was pleased. But not so pleased to move the gifts into her bedroom and they are all still sitting on the coffee table in the living room. *sighs*

I wanted her to celebrate but she wouldn't commit to what the celebration would be. I suggested either we do like last year - lunch and a [Netflix] movie at our place after school on early Friday, or I take a few friends out for lunch and fancy doughnuts - like we did the year before, and the year before that. In the end it was DD who thought of bowling.

So after school on Friday we took four friends for bowling and pizza (and chips actually, because they were there and why not?). It was exceptionally successful. The score pads of old are long gone so all you you have to do is toss the bowling ball and the machines to the rest. I just watched as they got on with it and had lots of fun. I was also useful for ordering the pizza and chips of course, and paying for it all, obviously.

One of the girls had to leave early so I took over from her in the second game. I didn't embarrass myself. However, whereas we all clocked up scores in the 80s, there was a group of little boys playing next to us who, seemingly without any style or strategy, all managed to get scores over 100. We left the bowling centre happy but humbled.

R2BC - The Birthday Party

This is the last Reasons 2B Cheerful for a while. We're taking a month off for Hanuka and Christmas. I'll still be blogging though, and cheerful (hopefully). Meanwhile the linky is live at Michelle's Mummy from the Heart.

There's a school policy that most schools adhere to - if you make a birthday party you must invite the whole class or all the girls/boys. When we were told this in first Grade it irritated me and I argued against it in facebook discussions. 1. We have a small apartment (and a winter birthday). 2. It's expensive. And 3, don't tell me who I must invite to DD's party.

Over the years everything has changed. 1. The girls are older and 17 ten year olds is not the same as having 17 seven year olds to entertain. 2. We're not in that same financial situation as when DD was small and I had less flexibility with work hours. And 3, I get it now. If your child is the one who never gets invited to parties, you're very grateful for this rule. Israel still retains much of its socialist origins and the schools spend a lot of time on social cohesion and community building.

In reality, many children had small parties, quietly, usually in the holidays and the invitations were made individually. No one minded. And many parents took the other path - spend the money, hire a children's venue with an organised party included in the price (activity centers, chocolate workshops, entertainer, etc...), send an inclusive whatsapp to the class group and turn up on the day to your child's party. And leave at the end with no disruption to your own house.

We were in the first category and last year I took three of DD's closest friends out to high tea one day after school. It was lovely. In a previous year we had 12 children here for a pirate party in which I was the entertainer so we only invited the English speakers. And one year, in kindergarten, we had a Jewellery making party with seven guests, also English speakers. We usually have a tea with family friends and/or escape to London for a family celebration at my Mum's.

Just once in DD's primary school career, I wanted to invite all the girls to her birthday party. Especially as she has been to so many of their parties over the years. With our new tv and recently acquired Netflix subscription I saw a way to keep it simple. We invited all the girls for lunch and a movie after school on Friday (school finishes at 12 on Fridays). One message to the whatsapp and we were committed.

DD was nervous. What if they don't come? (13 out of 16 came.) What if they hate the movie and spend the whole time on their phones? (There was some phone activity but much of it was  multitasking as we all do when watching tv.) A couple of girls gave her a hard time at school, telling her that she needed to have an activity. I told her to tell them that it's lunch and a movie, take it or leave it. DD was concerned. I was cavalier. If they're bored they can call their mothers (they all have phones) and go home. It's not a disco boat. Most of them walk home themselves anyway. Trust me.

So on Friday morning I got up early and cleaned the apartment. I went out and bought 20 fancy doughnuts. I ordered 6 family pizzas. There was cold water from the fridge to drink as there was enough sugar in the doughnuts and pizzas. And I set the table with paper plates, cups and napkins. Sorted. The girls all walked home from school with DD.

The pizzas were late so we started with dessert. The doughnuts were a great success. I had meant to put some candles in them and have everyone sing Happy Birthday, but I forgot. We put on "The Parent Trap" (with Hebrew subtitles). Then the pizzas arrived and were also welcomed with enthusiasm. By the end of the movie all the phones were away and everyone was hooked. Result.

A couple of girls stayed to play after the party. I chucked all the used paper goods, washed up the three doughnut dishes, and threw the table cloth and hand-towels from the bathroom and kitchen into the washing machine. By 2.30 it was all over including the clearing up. It was the easiest party I've ever made and well worth the cost of the doughnuts and pizzas.

DD was happy and so was I. And Shabbat lunch will be leftover pizza and doughnuts.

The Sixth Happiness For My Birthday

No photos from yesterday so here's one we made earlier.

Yesterday was my birthday. It wasn't a big birthday although no one can say that the number is small anymore so I suppose all my birthdays are now big birthdays. It was the day I don't teach in school, and college hasn't started yet so I did have a less hectic day than would normally be the case.

Whatsapp messages from family and friends mostly either wished me a great day (fantastic, amazing, wonderful, etc...) or asked what I was doing to celebrate. I answered truthfully. Grading papers, preparing lessons, supermarket. I treated myself to a delivery but then I do that every month so not really fair to count it as a birthday thing.

Facebook was marvelous as it always is on birthdays. Thank you to all my friends and even my "friends" and my cousins, who left birthday greetings. I tried to answer each one with a personal thank you but after a while I just 'liked' as many as I could. But, seriously, big LIKE to all of you.

Two e-cards all the way from Canada and California. Thank you, you know who you are.

And now enough of this Oscars acceptance speech  and back to the day itself. I also popped into college to do a few things, I went to sign DD up for gymnastics club, I did some housework. That's it. Until the evening.

This is where you expect me to say that I let my hair down and went clubbing all night. Wrong. DD had been asking me what I'm doing for my birthday all day. She was annoyed that I wasn't doing anything. I think she wanted to go out for waffles but as she didn't even bother to make me a card, I wasn't inclined to break my diet for her to have the treat. She did give me a big hug and say, "Happy Birthday Mummy, I love you so much." She's clever like that - no money or effort involved.

Anyhoo, I felt a bit guilty (Why? Just why did I feel guilty?) so I asked DD to watch a film with me for my birthday. It was my birthday. Mine. So I got to choose the film right? Wrong again. Well I refused to watch some pre-teen Hallmark TV movie this time so DD refused to watch anything with me.

As I was choosing for myself I revisited my childhood and watched, "The Inn of the Sixth Happiness" on You Tube. Remember? Ingrid Bergman and 100 Chinese orphans escaping the Japanese invasion. I was surprised to find that the bit about escaping with the children was only the last half hour of a 2 1/2 hour film. I'd remembered Gladys Aylward secretly reading her employer's books about China and saving her wages to pay her passage to China. I remembered her adopting Sixpence and then I thought the whole film was about the orphans' journey across the mountains. Not so.

It was a bit like when I watched Jane Eyre again decades after reading the book (because I had to at school) and seeing the movie and the BBC TV drama. I'd completely forgotten that half the story is about her life before going to be the governess at Mr. Rochester's house.

Btw, I read Wikipedia about Gladys Aylward and the film was very romanticized. The real Aylward never kissed a man in her life and didn't abandon the children in the end to go back to her  boyfriend. I didn't mind that so much but I'm sorry I read the article before seeing the end of the film because afterwards I could only think, all that scenery is actually North Wales not China. It lost some of it's magic I'm afraid.

Still, I found myself blubbering through the last 20 minutes so it was a fantastic choice of movie and a great way to celebrate my birthday.

R2BC - The Surprise Party

Top Bunk!
She's pretending to be asleep for this photo, I can see her smiling. 

The working week is over for me on Thursday afternoon (I go back to school on Sunday morning), apart from all the work I have to do at home, and the shopping, and the cooking, and the cleaning. But apart from all that.... Seriously though, if I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn and get us both out of the house before 7.30 am, I don't count it as working. Here are my reasons 2B cheerful for this past week. The linky has moved back to Becky's Lakes Single Mum for December and I'm on it as usual.

1
DD turned nine on Monday. She had a lovely birthday and actually, she ended up with three different celebrations.

I'm still getting my head around the fact that nine years have gone by since she was born. As I'm an older mother, I'd had over 20 years of total independence. I did what I wanted, when I wanted. All I had to do was make my arrangements for myself and lock my front door behind me. I didn't even have to leave a note for anyone. Now I've had nine years of not making a move without factoring DD into the equation - where will she be? Who will she be with? What will she do? What will she eat? Will she be happy? Will she be bored? Will she be too tired? Will she be warm enough?

I know all mothers live with multiple lives to consider, and some of them do it for decades if they have large families, but for me it was a new experience. It's complicated sometimes but I like it.

2
On Tuesday I had to be in school from 4 to 8pm for parent-teacher meetings. The day was a study in logistic planning from reorganising my college timetable to making arrangements for DD so that she could go to club, be taken to Sarit's house, stay overnight with Sarit, be taken to school in the morning with a classmate, and not have to schlep her clarinet everywhere with her after the clarinet lesson on Tuesday morning.

My first R2BC is that it all went like clockwork. Thank you team!

3
I knew that Sarit was going to have a cake and candles for DD as Tuesday was the day after her birthday. And I knew that she had a gift for her. So I'm sitting at school, bored stiff because only 15 parents came to see me in four hours! And it was not one family every 15 minutes. It was more like 10 families in the first hour and a half and another five families spread over the remaining two and a half hours. Anyhoo, I suddenly see Whatsapp messages coming through with photos of a proper birthday party happening at Sarit's place.

She had invited the rest of our 'created family' group (we are five mothers and five children but one family is away atm) for tea and birthday celebrations. I was really touched as it was a total surprise. DD was so happy. The only negative thing was that I couldn't be there.

4
This one is DD's. She got the top bunk for the night at Sarit's. Her first time on a top bunk. She was thrilled.

Such Is Life

Sunset over Jerusalem.
The sun doesn't go down, it's the world that keeps on turning.

We live on the third floor of an apartment building. Directly below us on the second floor are a young family who just welcomed their third daughter into the world. And on the first floor, directly below them, are a couple in their late 50s with grown up children and baby grandchildren.

On DD's birthday, as we went downstairs to go to school in the morning, we noticed a big colourful poster on the door of the family on the second floor. WELCOME HOME TO MUMMY AND OUR BABY SISTER! We smiled and said that we must go in and visit next week and take a gift.

We left the building and outside in the parking area we saw a small marquee with the sign 'Sukkat Avelim'. It means 'Mourners' Shelter'. I looked to see where the electric cable from the roof of the marquee went into the building and saw that it was attached via the balcony of the couple on the first floor.

My heart sank as I understood what had happened. Although there were no notices up yet I had met the wife in the supermarket last week and she told me her son was in hospital. Had an elderly grandparent died, they would have not have needed a tent. But when a young man with a family of his own dies, there are more mourners and more friends who come to visit and comfort during the week of shiva.

By the time I got home from school and was rushing out to collect DD and her friends for the birthday supper, the notices were up. I had been right. Michael was was a young family man with four babies - two sets of twins all under four years old.

The funeral had been in the morning and the street around our building was full of tearful friends and family. My neighbour came out of the tent. I hugged her, "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," was all I could say. We all assumed he would be ok. He was young, there are babies, he was in the hospital, the hospital makes you better doesn't it?

I popped into their apartment on my way upstairs to say a few words to her husband and then ran up to dump my bag and do a quick change of clothes. On my way back out I met the new father on the second floor. I wished him Mazal Tov and we walked out together, through the mourners to the street.

He drove off to collect his wife and new baby from the hospital and I went to celebrate DD's birthday. Such is life.

A More Sophisticated Birthday

Fancy shmancy doughnuts. They don't come fancier than this. 

The birthday started last Friday when DD celebrated her birthday in school along with the other December birthdays. One of the mothers made a fabulous cake, I bought a gift from the three of them to the class (a picture atlas if you're interested), and the other friend bought a small present for each of the birthday children.

The real birthday day, yesterday, started with me waking DD with a full throttle rendition of "Happy Birthday to you..." in two languages.

DD: Stop that racket! It's a regular school day!
Me: But its your birthday!
DD: Don't be weird. (Turns over and goes back to sleep).

So much for that. We eventually got moving. I found some Whatsapp messages for DD on my phone and an e-card on the computer. I related the messages to DD and she watched the card. #postmillenialgeneration

Me: O (my friend's son aged 7) wishes you lots of presents and sweets.
DD: Amen!

Perusing the menu.
There were only 4 options on the kids' menu but they studied them seriously.

We both went off to our separate schools. The celebrations were going to be after school.

DD didn't want a party but she did want to do something for her birthday and so did I. So we invited a friend to come out for supper and a fancy doughnut.

A word about the doughnuts. Fried food is traditional for the festival of Hanukkah. Specifically latkes and doughnuts. Like Christmas, Hanukkah starts early in the shops and in recent years the competition to produce the fanciest doughnuts has become fierce. In the exit poles Roladin Cafe usually comes in the top 3 so that's where we went. Also because there is a branch five minutes walk from our house.

By the time we got to the actual event, DD had invited another two friends. I was desperately trying to play it down as there is a school policy of inviting the whole class, or at least all the girls or all the boys to birthday parties. I kept saying, it's not a party, it's not a party. In the end it was great that  we had three guests because it made it more of a party. I know, it's complicated, but you can get away with it if you keep it low profile.

More fancy doughnuts

I collected the girls from school at 4pm and we walked up the road to Roladin. The menu was perfect as they have a kids' selection with four options - pizza, pasta with tomato or cream sauce, cheese toast, or a breakfast type egg, cheese, salad and bread roll platter. They mostly wanted the pizza. And they got a drink of their choice included with the meal. I had a salad.

After ordering, DD opened her presents. They are very sweet here about giving birthday blessings and each child wished DD something lovely for the coming year. And then she thanked them each with a hug.

Then they ran about for a bit outside. Then they chose and ate doughnuts (not me of course). Then I paid and we left. No stress. No mess to clear up. Much cheaper than a party And DD said said that it was her best birthday so far. Result!

The obligatory silly photo with tongues sticking out.
I will never understand why tongues out means we're having lots of fun.  

We walked our guests home. One of them lived further along the Bethlehem Road than we thought. I almost expected to arrive in Bethlehem before we got to her house but we eventually got there before leaving Jerusalem. We ended up doing an hour's round trip to take her home and then walk home again. Yes we could have taken the bus or a taxi back but actually it was a lovely mild evening and the walk was fun.

At home DD played with her presents for a bit, we had an argument about bedtime versus time on You Tube, and the day was over with a kiss and a cuddle.

Week 1 Done And 546 For My Birthday - R2BC

DD playing with her friend's little brother in the park.
She's very good with little children. 

Here are my Reasons 2B Cheerful for this week. The linky is back with Michelle on Mummy From The Heart for the month of September.

1
Survival
Just getting through the first week of school is a worthy R2BC. This is what it was like... The children are all in different years obviously, so you get confused when talking about e.g. 5th Grade Girls and you actually mean 6th Grade Girls except when you really do mean 5th Grade Girls but the person you are speaking to is thinking 4th Grade Girls.

Some of the teachers have changed classes. They changed the places of the classrooms. We are all scrambling to finalize out timetables to fit in all sorts of groups and one-to-one tutoring so that the children involved don't miss anything vital. And the kids themselves are only given schedules day by day until it's all finalized. So when you ask a group (made up of pupils from three different classes) if we can meet on Thursdays in the 2nd lesson, they don't know because it's only Monday and they won't know what's happening on Thursday until Wednesday afternoon.

It's amazing how an early start and a full day of work can be so exhausting when you've been used to the long, lazy summer holidays. DD and I found ourselves struggling to keep our eyes open in the early evening at he begining of the week. By Thursday we were getting used to it but I still managed to keep to the planned 'in bed by 8 pm' for DD and 11 pm for me (well sometimes 12).

2
My Birthday
By vainly trying to hide my age, I apparently turned off the whole birthday notification thing on facebook. For one second I was upset that I'd not got 300 Happy Birthday greetings. Then I realized that it didn't really matter.

I got some lovely messages from good friends on Whatsapp, my cousin and a friend from LA emailed, my mum skyped, and one friend messaged me on facebook to say he remembered anyway (which is how I knew that I'd done a facebook fail). It was fine. I didn't need anything else and after day two at school, I was too tired to celebrate anyway.

However..... I blogged about it and then the messages came. They were even more special because a blog post requires a higher level of engagement than just responding to a notification with 'happy birthday x'.

3
Blogging
After a year of trying to claw my way back into the top 1000 blogs in the TOTS100 ranking, I suddenly jumped about 700 places back to 546 (555 in August and 546 in September). It was the only best birthday present I got. If I can get back into the top 500 it displays that on the badge on my blog.

I was once in the top 100 for about two months - back in the day when they had about 700 UK parent blogs registered. Then they jumped to 3,000 and I managed to stay in the top 500 for years. Now blogging has become a professional career in the advertising and PR fields and there are around 6,000 UK parent blogs registered with TOTS100.

I'm thrilled with 546 but I'm not sure how it happened. Maybe it's simply a matter of blogging more often - I posted 16 times in August. I certainly don't keep up with Instagram or Twitter much, which are two of the variables in the ranking equation. Maybe all the professional bloggers were away enjoying free promotional holidays during July and August so there were only actually 546 of us blogging over the summer?

I decided to join Jax in her Making It up Blogtember 30 Day Challenge. It's now September 8th and this is only my fourth blog. I've not given up entirely but mine might be only a 25 day challenge. And next month I may be back down in the 1,000s but I'll always treasure my 546 for my birthday.

Happy Berefty Or Tomorrow Is Another Day

Random Birthday cake from a previous year.

Today is my birthday. Two years ago I tried to celebrate my birthday with DD and it was a disaster. And last year wasn't much better.

Today was only the second day of school and I had to meet three new classes. It was my first long day. It was hot and very humid outside. I didn't expect much from today.

Last night after our first full days back at school, DD and I both went to bed before 8 pm and were asleep within 10 minutes. Consequently I woke up at 5.30 this morning. I forgot it was my birthday. I did the dishes in the sink from the night before, showered and dressed, and made myself a cup of coffee. Meanwhile two good friends Whatsapped me with birthday greetings and I remembered (obviously).

I opened facebook before checking my emails, just in case some birthday wishes had come through. Nothing. Otoh, it was only 6.30 in the morning and 4.30 in England, so I wasn't too surprised. My cousin in London had sent me a Happy Birthday email with an attachment I couldn't open. But it's the thought that counts. I did expect to see all the facebook greetings when I came home from work though.

I didn't mention my birthday at work. Seriously, it's a school on the second day of lessons. Everyone is a bit crazy and confused as all the classes have gone up a year and changed names, and the classrooms have been swapped around. We also have a temporary timetable until October while they iron out the kinks. (I wish they'd have said before I copied mine into my new diary in ink.) I only remembered every time I wrote the date on the board at the beginning of each class.

I arrived home, after picking up DD on the way, hot, bothered and exhausted. There were some more whatsapp messages from people who know. DD had her now regular meltdown (well regular since yesterday) as a result of being hot, bothered and exhausted. I quickly prepared a snack for her and poured us both long drinks of cool water. Then I turned on facebook and...... one direct message from an old friend saying, "Facebook didn't let me know me but I remembered anyway - Happy Birthday!"

What?! Facebook didn't tell you? How could that be?

I always wish friends and even 'friends' a happy birthday on facebook. I'm the first to say that the birthday greetings is one of the nicest things facebook does. People always post comments after their birthday thanking friends for the greeting and saying how touched they were. I've loved it in previous years.

For two seconds I considered rushing over to my profile or my settings or wherever it is, and checking. But then I decided not to. Those who know know and if they want to send a greeting they can. How much is it really worth when you merely type 'Happy Birthday xxx' because the notice is there? It's a nice gesture. I like nice gestures but I don't need them.

DD finally stopped shouting at me about how she wants pizza and why can't she order it from her own pocket money? She's drawing. "Are you making me a birthday card?"
"No, why should I when you won't let me have pizza and all I want is pizza!?"

Happy berefty momey

Then minutes later I got this delivered into my lap with a kiss and a cuddle. So I'm not quite as "berefty" as I was 10 minutes ago.

I'm going to make sausages and chips for supper. And later I'll do some grading. I should clean the bathroom. Nothing has changed. I don't feel any different, not even older. And tomorrow is another day.

Turning Seven Tidbits #37

1
I send DD to Young Scientists' Club once a week after school because girls don't have to do only ballet, art, and piano, right? The first week she came home with a windmill they'd contstructed themselves with a perpetual motion device made with a weight on a string that wound and unwound itself on a stick that the arms were fixed to. The srting was held to the stick with a bead. 
DD: Do I really need to keep this windmill? I mean what do I need it for?
Me: It's interesting to see how it works but you don't have to keep it.
DD: Good, so I can take it apart and throw it away?
Me: Yes if you want to.
DD: I want to because I need that bead to make a necklace.

Birthday doughnuts instead of a cake

2
Me (In a deep southern drawl): Well lookee here
DD: You're exactly like Apple Jack except that you don't like moving very much. Well actually you're more like Granny Smith.

Cake for school birthday party

3
Me: Happy Birthday!
DD: Finally I'm not the youngest in my class anymore.

Hours of imaginative play with Barbie-type dolls

4
DD (Holding up her new Barbie doll): I must go to the mall I need some new shoes.

Reasons 2B Cheerful When You Turn Seven

1. DD's school have made a herb garden on an old previously plain wall. It makes me happy every time I see it. I'm hoping we will be able to use some of the herbs when they've grown.

2. Make it a Habit has lasted six weeks for me and I've lost a steady 2lbs a week making it 12lbs in total. 

3. It's DD's birthday tomorrow. There'll be two parties, one at school in the morning and one at home in the afternoon. The school party is just a cake, a present for the classroom (ususally a book) and a small activity for the children to do. When I say small, I mean really small - last week they had had a photocopied wordsearch of words about the birthday boy. 

I'm no baker so the birthday cake for school went like this: 

First go shopping

Next unwrap the cakes and place them in a baking tray

Finally cover with a sugar glaze and decorate with marshmellows and sprinkles
(I made the sugar glaze myself out of icing sugar and water and DD didn't want the M&Ms on it)

The activity is a bookmark for each child to colour in, with their name on it in Hebrew and English. 

Cut strips of card, write the names and punch a hole in each card

Make tassles from leftover crochet cotton wrapped round a Pink Level Reader

They came out very nicely I think

For the party at home we'll be having lunch followed by fancy [shop bought] doughnuts instead of cake and each of the five children and five mothers will get plain bookmarks (tassles but no names) to decorate with stickers and colours in order to make Hanuka presents for themselves and whoever else they want to make for. 

I'm feeling pretty cheerful about all this and linking up to R2BC over at Lakes Single Mum.

My Birthday, Stupid Friday, And Hitler Ganuff

*Ganuff is Yiddish for thief.

My birthday fell last week on Stupid Friday. I call it Stupid Friday because I have to drag DD out of bed and get her to school by 8 am when school finishes at 11:45 am. On Tuesdays they finish at 1 pm and the rest of the week at 2:20 pm. There is plenty of time during the week to tag those less than four hours onto other days and give us all a break on Fridays. Six days a week at school with only one day off a week is too much. Even the teachers only work a five day week. Rant over.

The previous Sunday I'd got a whatsapp from my friend Sarit. "What are you two doing on Friday night?" "Nothing planned yet. Want to do dinner together? Your place or mine? Share the cooking?" "So you're coming here for a birthday dinner." "OMG I'd completely forgotten it was my birthday this week!"

In truth, I'd probably blocked it out after what happened last year.

So on the Stupid Friday of my birthday I'd taken DD to school and returned home to try and get some work done at least. It takes time to get organised as I have to put on a load of laundry, do the dishes in the sink, check my emails, twitter, facebook, blog and reply to anything that needs replying to. I skim over The Times of Israel Online to check out the security situation in Israel and The Middle East. I skim over The DM Onlime to check out who's been sent home from school for wearing the wrong shoes. I make myself a coffee to sip whilst working and by that time the washing machine has finished so I have to empty it and hang up the wet clothes.

I'd just got to the bit where I open the college website when "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!" Skype calling. It was my mother presumably to wish me Happy Birthday. I answered the call only to see her clicking away with her mouse and keyboard and muttering about the sound not working. I hung up. "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!" I answered. More watching my mother trying to sort out her computer. I hung up. We repeated this another three times before I changed my Skype status to 'Do not disturb'.

So she sent me an email. Bad news I'm afraid. Howard died suddenly and unexpectedly in hospital on Wednesday. I was shocked. My father has 17 first cousins on his dad's side (my grandfather was one of nine siblings). The oldest of the 19 cousins was my late Aunty Rene but my dad, who was born 12 years after his sister, I always considered to be one of the younger cousins and Howard was about seven years younger than my dad.

I never met some of the cousins but I've known Howard all my life. He lived in our neighbourhood, his children went to our primary school with us, he sat next to my dad in synagogue (when they both went), he was my dad's accountant and my first financial advisor when I started playing on the stock market as an economics A'level student (we're talking penny shares here not high finance). Our families weren't close. A few years ago I was visiting London and out with a friend. She said to me, "You don't know your cousin S (Howard's daughter) very well do you?" "No, not now," I replied, "I probably wouldn't recognise her if I passed her in the street." My friend said, "you definitely wouldn't recognise her, she just walked past on the other side of the road." We had all grown up and moved away but Howard was Uncle Howard and he was family.

My dad lived with Howard and his older brother Arnold's family during the war so that he could continue going to school while his nervous mother and sister evacuated to Taunton for the duration. Their mother, my late great aunt, Aunty Lily, told the story of when Arnold's school were eventually evacuated and Howard, although much younger, was allowed to go too as he was with his big brother.

All the children were on the bus and all the mothers were crying as they waited to wave them off. They were told that the children would send their new addresses as soon as they'd been billetted with foster families. (I can't believe they didn't know at least which county or small town they were heading for but it never occured to me to ask.) Suddenly Howard poked his head out of the window and shouted, "we don't know where we're going Mum, but it's all cos of Hitler Ganuff!" And everyone laughed.

I got a fb message from my sister: Happy Birthday. Hope you're having a nice day.
Me: I just heard about Howard. Feeling very sad.
Miriam: Me too.

I no longer felt like doing any work and so I did what I always do when life gives you a jolt. I hit the bread bin. Three rounds of cheese and pickle sandwiches and a bag of crisps later I spent the rest of the morning playing Farm Heroes.

Dinner was lovely, thank you Sarit xxx.

Facebook delivered as only facebook can (after someone gave me the heads up that my privacy settings meant no one could write on my timeline and I quickly changed it).

The weekend was topped off with a long catch up on the phone with my friend Nicola from LA. Nicola and I were best friends in primary school when we were six and continued to secondary school together until her family moved to LA when we were 14. Nicola told me that she checks to see if I've posted on the blog every day when she takes her coffee break at work. No pressure there then. :~).

A different birthday from last year with some lovely bits, but not best I've had.

The 25 Hour Watch

Despite not dressing up at all on Tuesday, DD did have fun at school where the whole day was one big carnival. When I picked her up at 4 we took the bus into town to buy her a belated birthday present - a new watch. Her first.

Here's the back story, We have a small group of older mother friends with only children. There are five of us and we met at various stages of pregnancy. One of the things we do is celebrate birthdays together. As three of the five children all have birthdays the same week (though three years apart), we try to spread the parties out a bit. What with one thing and another, DD's party was yesterday on her 6 1/4 birthday. The tradition is that each of the others contributes 50 shekels for a really nice big present. In the past we've had Playmobil, Lego, and a scooter.


My favourite old fashioned watch shop in town had children's watches for 59 shekels or a Cassio children's watch for 185. I was aiming for the 59 shekels because it might get lost and need replacing. So as we walked we tried to think of something to buy with the other 140 shekels.


Unfortunately the shop was closed. It's such an old fashioned shop (which is why I love it) that it follows the old tradition of early closing on Tuesdays. So at 5pm on Tuesday evening we went around the corner and bought another, light blue with different coloured numbers, watch for 100 shekels.


Then we got pizza for supper and went to the theatre to see Peter Pan the Musical. It was lovely. We clapped so hard to bring Tinkerbelle back to life she's good for another 100 years at least. Tuesday was a good day.

It may be an Israeli thing to make cakes in dishes but everyone does

Wednesday started off good too. We made a cake in my new oven instead of buying one. I sort of made up the recipe from ingredients I had in the house and was quite surprised when a cake came out. We had our party. I had gift wrapped DD's watch even though she'd been wearing it the evening before, so we could present her with it at the party. The highlight of the afternoon was when my friend R took a second slice of my cake. :~)


Then everyone went home. DD looked at her watch and said, "It's 12 to 6." I told her that meant it was 6 o'clock. After I'd cleared away a bit she came and asked me to take her watch off her wrist and asked if she could play on her tablet. I was sitting with my laptop on my lap and she took the watch with her.

I would have left it plain but it was a birthday cake so we had to ice it.
The red candle is for next year, another Israeli tradition

A bit later: Where's my watch?


Reader we have looked everywhere. We looked in the boxes of all the games that had been out. We looked in the sofa and in my bed (where she had taken her tablet). I even looked through the rubbish bags before taking them out.



So that's what you call a 25 hour watch. I'm hoping it will turn up. Where could it have gone, this is not such a big apartment and there were only the two of us in it?




If it doesn't turn up I have another 50 shekels from one of the other friends (the fourth friend couldn't come to the party) so I'm thinking of the 59 shekel watches in the olde watche shoppe in town.


Or maybe 6 1/4 is just too young to have a watch and we should wait until she's 7?


UPDATE: At 1.30pm on Thursday she found it on one of the dining-room chairs, which is exactly where she had left it. :)

Pirate Birthday Party

When you're 6 you sometimes need to have a Pirate Birthday Party....

I bought two swiss rolls. It's all in the presentation dontcha know. We have an extra candle for next year.

Pin the stuff on the pirate. 

First attempts were very good. I think the blindfold may have been faulty.

After that the pirate got a bit drunk - or the kids did, it was hard to tell.

Vegetarian sausages were added to the buffet, and drinks. 

There were pirate props. 

Some of the crew, also known as me hearties. 

There were clues around the house leading to the treasure chest. The first clue was at the centre of the pass-the-parcel. Unfortunately I forgot to take a photo of the treasure - it was sweets in a chest shaped jewelery box. 

We were mighty fierce pirates. Arrrr! (This was manning the lifeboat in a game of Pirate Ship - Shore.

Now We Are Six

Now I am Six

When I was one I had just begun,

When I was two I was nearly new,

When I was three I was almost me,

When I was four I was not much more,

When I was five I was just alive,

But now I am six I'm as clever as clever,

So I think I'll be six for ever and ever. 

A.A.Milne

The day started with two presents wrapped and sitting by the front door as if they'd come through the door somehow. I don't know why we do that as we don't even have a letter box, but that's what we do. Opened in my bed of course. One was from me and one from Grandma and Grandpa (although they don't know about it yet - I'm still waiting for my mother to get online so I can tell her what they bought and thank them). 

School and work followed as usual. I didn't dare suggest going out for tea after the fiasco on my birthday. So we came straight home to prepare for the party in school tomorrow. 

I don't get to stay for it but we have to take a cake with candles, some nasherai, paper plates and napkins, a present for the classroom (a book or game), a little gift for each child or prizes are optional (I found little tangram puzzles for 1.5nis each (25p)), and an activity for the teacher to do with the class. 

Until now, as far as I can gather, the activities have been either pass the parcel or musical statues. So I decided to make a pin the tail on the donkey. 

I'm not much of an artist but it's a donkey. And as it's all on plastic paper they don't actually pin with pins. I'm sending sellotape instead, and a blindfold of course. 

That's the end of my creativity. The cake started out as this:

But it ended up looking like this after DD decorated it herself:

That's a house and a butterfly btw. Obviously we will add the candles when we get to school tomorrow. 

So if I can drag DD away from her new tablet...

Before we turn out the lights and call it a [birth]day, I just want to say one word about tablets for children. If you are an only child with a single mum you need a tablet at least until you can read fluently. That's all. 

Happy Birthday DD 

Now you are six you're as clever as clever,

 I love you now and I'll love you forever. 

Your Mummy xoxoxo 

(with apologies to A.A.Milne)

A Single Mother's Birthday

It started with this exchange:

Me: What nice thing shall we do to celebrate my birthday?

DD: Actually I think it's only for children.

And ended with this exchange:

Me: I'm not reading a story to someone who can't even wish me Happy Birthday.

DD: *big sigh* Happy Birthday Mummy can I have the dinosaur book?

In between was a series of mishaps and meltdowns one after the other. 

7am. Up, make 10 o'clock snack, shower, dress myself. Usual mad panic to get DD awake and cooperative enough for me to dress her. Bully and threaten her with no stories, no playing on my phone, no sugar things, etc... until she goes to the loo and drinks her apple juice. Eventually leave the house - she has a small bag of pretzels in her hand in lieu of breakfast (don't worry, packed lunches are eaten at 10am in school). Make it to school just as the bell is ringing. Class teacher has to prise DD's fingers off my dress to let me go. 

8.05am. Back home, make coffee, check twitter, blog, emails, facebook. Facebook is full of lovely messages wishing me a fabulous, wonderful, fun-filled, day. It hopes I'm spoiled and pampered and made to feel special on my special day. I put on a load of laundry and get to work preparing lessons for my college courses.

Work all day, occasionally check in to all the above forums. More pressure from facebook but it serves me right for going there. Make and eat a million rounds of cheese on toast to compensate for having an ordinary day on my birthday.

4.30pm. Pick up DD from school and, feeling the pressure from facebook, suggest we go out for ice-cream. She has a little drink from her water bottle and we go to the nearest cafe. (This is significant).

4.45pm. I don't even like ice-cream so I just ordered a celebratory coffee. Just instant because that's what I like. It cost 16nis (Over 3 pounds) for something I could have had free at home. 2 scoops of ice-cream cost 28nis (almost 5 pounds!) and of course DD had to also have a drink. Last time we go there (Cafe BeGeenah if you're interested). 

After we ordered and before it came I suggested we see what homework DD had. On opening her bag I realize I'd neglected to put her pencil case back inside when I'd removed it to get her water bottle out. It was sitting on a bench in school. DD promptly had a meltdown. I suggested we run and get it. She didn't want to, preferring to sit and scream about it. I kept thinking about all those coloured pencils and felt tip pens individually labelled with her name - hours of work to redo if we've lost her pencil case. 

5pm. The ice-cream came. It was served in a sundae glass and filled to the top. As DD put her spoon in the ice-cream dribbled out all over the top and ran down the outside onto the table. Meltdown 2. I went to the kitchen to get a bowl and paper napkins, I cleaned up the mess, I sat down. 

DD: I don't even like this ice-cream.

5.20pm. We leave the cafe 10 pounds poorer. I'm in a foul mood. I give myself the tip for cleaning the table.  

5.30pm. We get back to school and rattle the locked doors until the cleaner hears us and lets us in. We find the pencil case under the bench (where it had fallen which is why I didn't notice it when repacking the bag). This was the highlight of my day.

5.40pm. Get out DD's homework. There was quite a lot to do. For Hebrew she had to draw over the outlines of the aleph-bet and then go back to colour all the letters in. By the time she got to the colouring she'd had enough. I told her to leave it for a while and do some more after supper. 

DD: No you do it.

Me: I can't do your homework for you, it's not allowed. 

DD: Just do it! JUST DO IT FOR ME!

Me: Ok, I'll do a few letters. (It was a lot of busy work after all.)

I coloured in three letters and suddenly there was a howl of despair from DD. Apparently there was a pattern going on in the colours and I'd done the wrong colours. Meltdown 3. 

6pm. I go to make supper which is usually served at 6pm but because we'd been out it wasn't made yet. 

DD: Can I have suffink (sic) to keep me going? (I give her a packet of crisps.)

6.20pm. I serve supper. 

DD: Actually I'm not hungry. I'm full up from ice-cream and crisps. (Okey dokey.)

7.30pm. After the dinosaur book and a couple of other stories I left DD in bed and ended the evening on facebook reading about various people being whisked off to the Carmel Spa or at least taken out for a special dinner for their birthdays. They were all feeling the luuuurv. Oh good. Happy for them. Really. 

Happy Birthday to me and all single mothers everywhere!