A piece of parchment paper came home from school with a note asking me to write a blessing for my daughter for her Torah (Bible) Party. My first thought for a blessing was: hamotse lechem min ha'aretz. That's a joke, it's the blessing we say before eating bread.
The problem was that I missed the meeting where most of the parents wrote their blessings and handed them in straight away. I didn't know if it was to be stuck into a Bible to be presented to the children, made into a bookmark, or displayed on the wall. I didn't know which way round the parchment should go (portrait or landscape) so I wrote my piece twice - once on each side in the two different layouts.
Actually that was wasn't the biggest problem. The biggest problem was what to write. I wanted something meaningful and to do with the Torah. Maybe a quote from it or an inspiring quote about how the Torah can be your guide for life, etc... And, of course I was going to write in Hebrew as DD's schooling is in Hebrew and it's the Torah, for Goodness sakes. Of course it should be in Hebrew.
As DD had handed me this thing just as Shabbat came in, it was too late to have the discussion about what to write on facebook. I looked for some quotes online but, funnily enough, they are all written in the masculine form. Well I object to that.
I didn't just object, but it brought up a whole load of memories of being denied the chance to read from the Torah on my Bat Mitzva like the boys get to do on their Bar Mitzva. Of being relegated to the Ladies' Gallery in the synagogue where we were not a part of the service at all. I used to sing as loudly as possibly to make myself heard but no one really cared.
On my Bat Mitzva, a joint ceremony of seven girls on a Sunday afternoon, we weren't even allowed to stand on the raised platform from where the Torah is read. We had to stop on the second step. We were allowed to read some psalms in Hebrew and the prayer for the Royal Family and another prayer for the State of Israel in English. We were not permitted to utter any words of Torah in Hebrew or English.
Looking back on it now I'm angry in a way it didn't even occur to me to be angry back then. I accepted it all and more. But with my adult head on now, they spoilt it for me. Later when I actually read more of the Torah, with a more feminist head, I felt alienated from this history of the men of Israel.
So what do I tell my daughter? How can I tell her to love the Torah when I don't love it. When I don't think it's very relevant to her as a girl. Yes I know it holds the fundamental laws on which western civilization is based, and therefore it's not unimportant. I agree with don't kill, don't steal, don't covert, honour your parents, etc... Being kind to strangers, turning the other cheek, giving charity, and feeding your animals before you feed yourself are all hugely good and wise ways to conduct yourself. But what about the narrative. The story. Where are the women in all this roaming around the desert?
I could pull up my big girl's knickers and let it go. I could justify it as being true to history. The Bible stories are about an era when women did stay in the tent and were owned by their husbands. The problem is that we look to this book as a guidebook for life. And the commentaries throughout the ages were written by men, perpetuating the whole women as chattels issue.
I took advice from friends at lunch. They told me to forget trying to find a quote from the Torah, there's nothing in there for girls. They suggested a quote from English literature or poetry. Something personal. So this is what I wrote:
To Adiele Hanna Luisa Selby (My Adieli-Weli-Wooshwoosh)
"Everyone has good news inside her, The good news is that you don't know how great you can be." - Anne Frank
God bless you and make you a good big girl
"You see I love you more each day. Today more than yeterday and less than tomorrow." - Rosamonde Gerard.
I have no idea what anyone else wrote. Possibly I wrote too much, They might not like it that I wrote in English. Oh well, this is my blessing.
The problem was that I missed the meeting where most of the parents wrote their blessings and handed them in straight away. I didn't know if it was to be stuck into a Bible to be presented to the children, made into a bookmark, or displayed on the wall. I didn't know which way round the parchment should go (portrait or landscape) so I wrote my piece twice - once on each side in the two different layouts.
Actually that was wasn't the biggest problem. The biggest problem was what to write. I wanted something meaningful and to do with the Torah. Maybe a quote from it or an inspiring quote about how the Torah can be your guide for life, etc... And, of course I was going to write in Hebrew as DD's schooling is in Hebrew and it's the Torah, for Goodness sakes. Of course it should be in Hebrew.
As DD had handed me this thing just as Shabbat came in, it was too late to have the discussion about what to write on facebook. I looked for some quotes online but, funnily enough, they are all written in the masculine form. Well I object to that.
I didn't just object, but it brought up a whole load of memories of being denied the chance to read from the Torah on my Bat Mitzva like the boys get to do on their Bar Mitzva. Of being relegated to the Ladies' Gallery in the synagogue where we were not a part of the service at all. I used to sing as loudly as possibly to make myself heard but no one really cared.
On my Bat Mitzva, a joint ceremony of seven girls on a Sunday afternoon, we weren't even allowed to stand on the raised platform from where the Torah is read. We had to stop on the second step. We were allowed to read some psalms in Hebrew and the prayer for the Royal Family and another prayer for the State of Israel in English. We were not permitted to utter any words of Torah in Hebrew or English.
Looking back on it now I'm angry in a way it didn't even occur to me to be angry back then. I accepted it all and more. But with my adult head on now, they spoilt it for me. Later when I actually read more of the Torah, with a more feminist head, I felt alienated from this history of the men of Israel.
So what do I tell my daughter? How can I tell her to love the Torah when I don't love it. When I don't think it's very relevant to her as a girl. Yes I know it holds the fundamental laws on which western civilization is based, and therefore it's not unimportant. I agree with don't kill, don't steal, don't covert, honour your parents, etc... Being kind to strangers, turning the other cheek, giving charity, and feeding your animals before you feed yourself are all hugely good and wise ways to conduct yourself. But what about the narrative. The story. Where are the women in all this roaming around the desert?
I could pull up my big girl's knickers and let it go. I could justify it as being true to history. The Bible stories are about an era when women did stay in the tent and were owned by their husbands. The problem is that we look to this book as a guidebook for life. And the commentaries throughout the ages were written by men, perpetuating the whole women as chattels issue.
I took advice from friends at lunch. They told me to forget trying to find a quote from the Torah, there's nothing in there for girls. They suggested a quote from English literature or poetry. Something personal. So this is what I wrote:
To Adiele Hanna Luisa Selby (My Adieli-Weli-Wooshwoosh)
"Everyone has good news inside her, The good news is that you don't know how great you can be." - Anne Frank
God bless you and make you a good big girl
"You see I love you more each day. Today more than yeterday and less than tomorrow." - Rosamonde Gerard.
I have no idea what anyone else wrote. Possibly I wrote too much, They might not like it that I wrote in English. Oh well, this is my blessing.
