Help....Let's Plan Something

This post is a Thank you Thursday to Lisa Gold Margolin who started a facebook group on July 31st. called: Help Me I'm A Mum In Israel In August -- Let's Plan Something. What a brilliant idea and it's working aswell.

The first posts were full of suggestions of things to do. We have a difficult situation here whereby it's far too hot to go out before about 4pm and the younger children (who don't hang out in the a/c'ed malls) are going stir-crazy in the flats, unless you can get them to an early morning session in the park - yeah right, in my next life as Supermum. And yes, well spotted, most of us live in apartments so there is no flinging open (or sliding of) the patio doors for hours of outdoor activity while Mum cooks dinner. We have local parks with the ubiquitous playground climbing/slides combo and a patch of grass - but small and, to be honest, they get boring after a while.

And finally, there is a limit to what a 2yo can do and enjoy. 2yos don't need to go to theme parks or museums. They need simple stuff that doesn't cost much. It's just a matter of thinking of the stuff, finding it and - thanks to Lisa, posting it on fb so that a group of us can meet up there. 2yos do love company and so do their Mums.

Today I was clicking my way round fb and twitter when I saw a post by J asking if anyone wants to join her and her twin boys in Independence Park, Jerusalem. Apparently (who knew?) there are streams and waterfalls (all manmade but who cares) to frolic in. Oooh yes please! I replied, completely forgetting that I had offered to have one of DD's friends for a couple of hours this afternoon. It crossed my mind to get J's mobile number before we left but I thought: no, let's be old fashioned and find them in the park.

I packed a towel, spare clothes, water jelly-shoes, drinking water, and snacks. We got on the bus into town at 4pm (which is when I remembered about DD's friend - sorry S and J). We went into the wrong section of the park. We sat there, not seeing any water nor any J and her twins. I called two mutual friends and managed to get J's number - but she didn't answer. I was about to take DD home when I suddenly thought: I know there is more to this park somewhere. So we left the small part of the park,walked round the fenced off bit where they are re-landscaping, down the road and into Independence Park proper.

J and the boys had finished frolicking in the water and were on to bubbles and frisbie. DD didn't fancy paddling on her own but we took some pictures. The park is lovely. Plenty of shade, large grassy areas, water, trees... and it's on almost every bus-route. We said we'd organise it better next time. Warn people about the split parks phenomenon. Get a bigger group together. As J said - you need someone to do it first so they know what's what. Next time we'll be wiser. Those of you who commented: Let us know what it's like and we'll do it next week - very clever! On the other hand, we were out for a couple of hours in the cooler weather, had two rides on the bus and went to the supermarket on the way home.

Midsummer's Day Motivation

Tonight is Midsummer's Night and tomorrow is Midsummer's Day. A day associated with Midsummer madness and A Midsummer Night's Dream.

One of my favourite memories of this night is from about 15 years ago when a friend used to commandeer her uncle's garden in Ein Karem, a rural and largely unspoiled area on the outskirts of Jerusalem. It probably looks much like Shakespeare would have imagined Italy in his time. A group of us would bring cheese, wine and grapes, and we acted out (reading from the text of course - we were only pseudo intellects, not the real macoy) the play amongst the vines and olive trees, and under the stars. It sounds terribly pretentious and it was. You should have seen how we sneered at the person who brought coke and crisps (didn't stop us eating them though!).

The big questions have always been why is this Midsummer's Day when the Summer Solstice is only three days earlier on June 21st? And why is the Summer Solstice considered to be the start of the summer when it is the longest day of the year? I went googling (Agoogling I did go, with a hey and a ho and a nonny nonny no....) and I found all the answers and more here (Midsummer's Day) and here (Summer Solstice).

Bottom line(s)? Midsummer's Day is a hand-me-down from the Roman calendar when the summer solstice did fall on 24th June and they celebrated the day the sun stopped and changed direction. The seasons starting on the solstice and equinox dates is merely a traditional concept. Many people believe that they should actually mark the middle of each season.

All lovely and informative, but what I really like about today is what Liska from New Mum Online pointed out in her post from the beginning of the week. It adds a touch of magic and totally fits in with my getting a grip activities this month. It is more powerful than January 1st (that other voodoo date for new starts) and more timely as the season of gay abandon is practically upon us.

So my Thank you Thursday this week is to Liska for giving us all another shot at improvement. And this one is surfused with the magic of the gods, the blessings of St. John the Baptist and the ease of eating healthily during the salad season. How much more help do you need to get motivated?

Thank You Thursday: More Than Just A Funny Story

Sometimes I read a blog post by another mummy blogger which speaks straight to my heart. My Thank You Thursday this week goes to Emily Carlisle over at More Than Just A Mother, for her post last Sunday entitled Accidental Parenting: Naked Beans Night. First of all Accidental Parenting is a phrase I wish I'd coined myself. Emily describes the well-known phenomenon of absentmindedly doing something one way - once or twice - and this becoming the only way to do it that is acceptable to your children. I won't spoil Emily's post by retelling her hilarious example - and anyway, I think it's only fair that you click on the link and read it yourself.

More important than the story is the concept itself. There are things we woud never have planned in our perfect-parenting dreams and behaviours we would have readily frowned upon - until we found ourselves allowing them in our own households. And, as Emily so rightly points out, once a 'way' of doing something has been established it often involves too much effort and energy to reverse the custom. So thank you Emily for understanding why I give DD a square of chocolate halfway through her main course (only if she remembers to ask for it). Once it was a way of giving her a treat for eating half and giving her the encouragement to finish her meal. Now it's just what we do sometimes and, in the spirit of picking your battles, it's not terrible it just happened.

And even more important than all the above, after you have recognised the concept and forgiven yourself for initiating the Accidental Parenting customs in the first place, is the reminder from Emily to consider all this next time you see an act of imperfect parenting from another parent. As Emily says, they probably didn't plan to parent that way. It is most llikely an act of Accidental Parenting. So you could put aside your judgement and just smile knowingly.

Once again, thank you Emily Carlisle at More Than Just A Mother for your brilliant observation and for giving us the concept of Accidental Parenting.

Being in the right place at the wrong time

Last weekend we spent Shabbat (Saturday) with friends on Kibbutz Alumim. This is a kibbutz in the Northern Negev, 5km from the border with Gaza. Since the beginning of the second intifada in 2000, they have had numerous red alerts as missiles have been launched at the towns, kibbutzim and villages of that region. The siren goes off, a loud voice announces "RED ALERT! RED ALERT!" and you are supposed to run to the nearest shelter. Some people do (mostly those with young children) and others don't bother. Whatever your reaction, it is terrifying. There have been injuries and even fatalities on other settlements but, thankfully, so far the main living area of Kibbutz Alumim has been spared a direct hit.

Before I became pregnant with DD, I was one of the more laid back customers when the missiles came. As my hosts didn't panic, neither did I and we waited where we happened to be. Then, one time I was alone in my room when the red alert sounded, and I was pregnant. And I was not in one of the new houses with reinforced rooms (a.k.a. bomb shelters). Did I say I was pregnant? It obviously made all the difference. I froze as I considered my options. Stand in the door-frame? No, that was for earthquakes. Run to my friends' house? No, too far. In the end, after almost a minute of thinking about it, I dived under the bed.

Now what? How long should I stay there? Until I heard the explosion? No, you don't always hear anything. Was there an "all clear!"? I couldn't remember. I didn't have my watch on so I counted to 300 - five minutes was surely enough time, and then came out. Even then, I wasn't sure that it was all over.

When I returned to my friends' house, they laughed at me. Apparently you only have 15 seconds to reach cover before the missile hits. By the time I was under the bed it was all over.

Last Shabbat there was no red alert but, when DD and I went for a long walk around the kibbutz after breakfast, there was a lot of helicopter activity. We own helicopters, they don't, so I wasn't alarmed. However, I knew that something must have happened for us to be so active on a Shabbat morning. DD didn't like it. "Noise!" she said, "no like it!" Then we heard the blasts as the helicopters fired and struck - I didn't know what. "Don't worry darling," I said, "it's just bombs."

Later we found out that there had been a number (reports varied between 30 and 50) of rockets fired over the border. The rockets are short distance missiles and so fast that there is no time for any warning. Subsequently two terrorists were killed close to the border, about 3km from where we were. In the light of the attack last week when a family was stabbed to death in their beds, it felt close.

Then yesterday there was a bomb in Jerusalem that injured 30 people, some of them on the #74 bus. This is a bus that I sometimes take as its route goes through my neighbourhood.

So my Thank you Thursday this week is to God, the Universe, my Guardian Angels, Fairy Godmother, whatever it was... that kept me and DD in the right places at the wrong times. I don't know what I did (or didn't do) to deserve it but please know that I am continually thankful for your protection. And thank you for protecting my friends too.

#ThTh: Three cheers for the driver!

When we were children and went on a coach trip to anywhere - and back, as we approached the pick-up point where the parents would be waiting, we would all sing: Three cheers for the driver, the driver, the driver. Three cheers for the driver who drove us today!

I felt like singing that this evening when my friend Binny, who drove me to, and later home from, an evening with friends, offered to drive my babysitter home. This saved me paying for a taxi for her. When you barely earn enough to reach the end of the month, this is a big deal. Thank you Binny, I really appreciate it.

#ThTh: Thank you to Raheli the Ganenet

The Ganenet is the nursery teacher at DD's nursery (gan in Hebrew). Our Ganenet is Raheli and we love her because she is the best Ganenet in the whole of Israel. This isn't an official statistic - just my opinion.

Thank you Raheli for taking DD aside and teaching her how to wait without crying until it is her turn. And then teaching me how to reinforce this at home.

Thank you for recognising that DD likes to be the boss 'in charge' of something and helping her to play this role a little every day. Thank you for helping DD give out her little bag of salty snacks - one each to each of the other children, when she arrives at gan in the morning. Thank you for letting her go around to each of the children on their mattresses at nap time and tell each one that it's time to go to sleep now, before returning to her own mattress and lying down.

Thank you for taking all the heart-shaped, pre-cooked dough for biscuits that the children had, with runny noses and sticky fingers, rolled, cut out and placed on baking trays - throwing them away and making a new batch of biscuits to give to the parents at the Family Day party. Everyone enjoyed eating the biscuits which the children thought they had made :)

Thank you for teaching DD Hebrew and sometimes translating for her to make sure she understands.

Thank you for loving the children and for the hugs and kisses they receive in abundance. DD running into gan every day, eager to get into the day's activities and be with her friends, is the most wonderful thing to see each morning.

Thank you for the emails and the photos you regularly send us. You and Linda are far better photographers than I am. Thanks to you, I now have a full album of DD photos to keep for her and to share with the family.

Thank you for assuring me that you will know when it is time to toilet-train DD and that we will do it together.

Thank you for all the love and advice.

Thank you Raheli.