Last week DD came home from school saying something about an outing this week. She didn't know any details because... "I didn't bother to listen because I knew there'd be an email."
Sure enough there was an email. The parents' committee had arranged an outing to the Jerusalem Fire Department, where one of the fathers works. It is tomorrow morning. We have to take them to the fire station at 9am and pick them up at 11.30. School finishes at noon on Fridays anyway so no lessons will be held.
DD: Well I'm not going to that. THAT doesn't interest me at all!
I didn't push it. We are entering the last month of the school year, there seems to be more homework all of a sudden (or is that just my perception?), it was 44 degrees C (111 F) in Jerusalem this week. We are tired and I'm picking my battles.
I put it out there on fb just to see what other mums thought about me letting her stay at home. Some understood while others were adamant that if I give DD a break in First Grade she will grow up to be an irresponsible adult with no committment to her work.
It's a very Israeli thing that all the children have to be the same, do the same, get the same. It's left over from the days when we were a strongly socialist country and everyone was a closet kibbutznik. It's total b***sh*t of course. Israel has one of the highest wealth gaps between the rich and poor in the western world. So I had to laugh when one mother suggested that if I allow DD to opt out of a Friday morning school outing that doesn't interest her, I would be encouraging a sense of entitlement. LOL, there are kids in this neighbourhood who opt out of a week at school in order to go skiing every year so I don't think missing a couple of hours at the local fire station is going to impress anybody.
I admit I was deliberately provocative when I said I'd let her skip her 'Tiyul Shnati' (big class trip that is usually a hike in the mountains somewhere) next year if she doesn't want to go, as she hated it so much this year. This is particularly shocking to Israelis as the tiyul shnati is the big bonding and socialization event of the year, and it promotes the compulsary love of the land and beautiful countryside. (Imo it's not beautiful - it's Mediterranean scrub and there is no countryside as I know it.)
Other mums, the British mums interestingly, said it's also not healthy to grow up thinking you have no control over your life and have to do what everyone else wants to do even if you hate it.
A few weeks ago DD's best friend was away for three days as her family went to Eilat. A lot of families go now because it's cheaper than in July and August and the climate more pleasant. Last week two out of the six children in DD's swimming lesson group were absent because they were taking a few days in Eilat. And a mother of one of my pupils told me he will be away next week. "We're going to Eilat," She sighed resignedly, "the kids so need to get away. They really need it."
Well my 6yo daughter, who is in school six days a week, five of them from 8 am till 4.30 and half day on Fridays, also needs some time off and we can't afford to go to Eilat. Anyway I can't take time off my work before August but actually we don't need to be in Eilat, she just needs not to have to get up for school once in a while.
The truth is that last weekend was a school holiday for Shavuot (Pentecost) and they had three days off. She went back on Tuesday, which is only half a day of lessons and the rest activities. On Wednesday she stayed home because the weather was 44 degrees C. and imo, that is too hot to go out. (NB I didn't tell them this on fb - I didn't dare. Even though it was her class teacher's day off so no maths or Hebrew. Even the teachers only have to go to school five days a week!) Today she went back to school and tomorrow is the outing.
DD came out of school at 4.30 today and said, "I told my teacher I'm not coming to the fire station and she said I have to go."
Me: "So are you going?"
DD: "I suppose I'll have to."
Me: "Good. When we get home I'll phone one of the parents and organise a lift for you."
DD: "No need. I arranged that Daria will take me because you don't have a car."
When I called Daria's mother to confirm this arrangement she said that Daria had already told her they were taking DD and bringing her home afterwards.
So this post is partly to describe how this whole amusing episode has left me wondering what my role is here as the mother. That Abba song springs to mind - Slipping Through My Fingers. She's only 6 for goodness' sake!
And also to open the topic of mental health days and whether children should be allowed to decline to go on a fun school trip if they don't want to go. What do you think? Luckily we don't get fined for being absent but how does it impact your decision (uk mums) knowing that you could get fined for giving your kid a break?
Sure enough there was an email. The parents' committee had arranged an outing to the Jerusalem Fire Department, where one of the fathers works. It is tomorrow morning. We have to take them to the fire station at 9am and pick them up at 11.30. School finishes at noon on Fridays anyway so no lessons will be held.
DD: Well I'm not going to that. THAT doesn't interest me at all!
I didn't push it. We are entering the last month of the school year, there seems to be more homework all of a sudden (or is that just my perception?), it was 44 degrees C (111 F) in Jerusalem this week. We are tired and I'm picking my battles.
I put it out there on fb just to see what other mums thought about me letting her stay at home. Some understood while others were adamant that if I give DD a break in First Grade she will grow up to be an irresponsible adult with no committment to her work.
It's a very Israeli thing that all the children have to be the same, do the same, get the same. It's left over from the days when we were a strongly socialist country and everyone was a closet kibbutznik. It's total b***sh*t of course. Israel has one of the highest wealth gaps between the rich and poor in the western world. So I had to laugh when one mother suggested that if I allow DD to opt out of a Friday morning school outing that doesn't interest her, I would be encouraging a sense of entitlement. LOL, there are kids in this neighbourhood who opt out of a week at school in order to go skiing every year so I don't think missing a couple of hours at the local fire station is going to impress anybody.
I admit I was deliberately provocative when I said I'd let her skip her 'Tiyul Shnati' (big class trip that is usually a hike in the mountains somewhere) next year if she doesn't want to go, as she hated it so much this year. This is particularly shocking to Israelis as the tiyul shnati is the big bonding and socialization event of the year, and it promotes the compulsary love of the land and beautiful countryside. (Imo it's not beautiful - it's Mediterranean scrub and there is no countryside as I know it.)
Other mums, the British mums interestingly, said it's also not healthy to grow up thinking you have no control over your life and have to do what everyone else wants to do even if you hate it.
A few weeks ago DD's best friend was away for three days as her family went to Eilat. A lot of families go now because it's cheaper than in July and August and the climate more pleasant. Last week two out of the six children in DD's swimming lesson group were absent because they were taking a few days in Eilat. And a mother of one of my pupils told me he will be away next week. "We're going to Eilat," She sighed resignedly, "the kids so need to get away. They really need it."
Well my 6yo daughter, who is in school six days a week, five of them from 8 am till 4.30 and half day on Fridays, also needs some time off and we can't afford to go to Eilat. Anyway I can't take time off my work before August but actually we don't need to be in Eilat, she just needs not to have to get up for school once in a while.
The truth is that last weekend was a school holiday for Shavuot (Pentecost) and they had three days off. She went back on Tuesday, which is only half a day of lessons and the rest activities. On Wednesday she stayed home because the weather was 44 degrees C. and imo, that is too hot to go out. (NB I didn't tell them this on fb - I didn't dare. Even though it was her class teacher's day off so no maths or Hebrew. Even the teachers only have to go to school five days a week!) Today she went back to school and tomorrow is the outing.
DD came out of school at 4.30 today and said, "I told my teacher I'm not coming to the fire station and she said I have to go."
Me: "So are you going?"
DD: "I suppose I'll have to."
Me: "Good. When we get home I'll phone one of the parents and organise a lift for you."
DD: "No need. I arranged that Daria will take me because you don't have a car."
When I called Daria's mother to confirm this arrangement she said that Daria had already told her they were taking DD and bringing her home afterwards.
So this post is partly to describe how this whole amusing episode has left me wondering what my role is here as the mother. That Abba song springs to mind - Slipping Through My Fingers. She's only 6 for goodness' sake!
And also to open the topic of mental health days and whether children should be allowed to decline to go on a fun school trip if they don't want to go. What do you think? Luckily we don't get fined for being absent but how does it impact your decision (uk mums) knowing that you could get fined for giving your kid a break?
