Not A Fancy Wedding

I was hoping to get back to mundane but happier topics with the start of August. I expect I will soon as the end of the war seems to be in sight. The tunnels under Israel that took Hamas 5 years to build and cost them millions of dollars are all but destroyed. I've heard that we are pulling out of Gaza.

Today on fb I saw these photos posted by Lisa Brink.

It looks like a fancy wedding doesn't it? It was in fact the Friday Night Dinner at Tel Hashomer Hospital in Tel Aviv. The guests were the families of wounded soldiers who were staying in the hospital over Shabbat to be with their sons, husbands, boyfriends, and brothers.

And here are goody parcels to keep them going in between meals.

Sometimes I love Israel even more than I yearn for salt and vinegar crisps.

A Nation Unites

Here are some facebook statuses written and shared by my friends.

1. From Gila:
The father of a soldier who is now in Gaza told how his son was informed on Friday that his unit will not be going home for Shabbat, which was a problem because they did not have any provisions for Shabbat. The father ran to the supermarket to buy some things, as many dips and salads as he could, then he stopped at the shwarma place in Petach Tikva. He asked for a portion to be put into an aluminium tray and explained that it was for his son who is in Gaza without food for Shabbat. The owner said to him "what do you mean for your son? How many soldiers are in his group?" The father answered "70" The shwarma place owner called all of his workers. They prepared all the shwarma they had, brought out all of their meat, fried schnitzels, prepared Moroccan salads and chips and within an hour he and all of his workers had emptied the entire restaurant and given it over to the father. The father just stood there crying and thanking him.

2. From Stanley:
We have an amazing army an an amazing people. Just came back from nearby. We are hosting a battalion who are resting and recovering after coming out of Gaza. Unbelievable, the whole kibbutz is making bbq for them, letting them shower in their homes, hosting them etc. And the soldiers are such nice guys, helpful, polite. In the whole of history having an army billeted on you was regarded as a disaster. Here they are charming guests.

3. From Susan in America:

4. From a soldier on the border
  What's happening here in the staging area [area where soldiers prepare to enter Gaza] is beyond amazing. Almost every hour a car shows up overflowing with food, snacks, cold drinks, socks, underwear, undershirts, hygiene supplies, wipes, cigarettes, backgammon and more. They're coming from the North and the Center, from manufacturers, from companies and private businesses, from Chareidim (ultra-orthodox) and Settlers, from Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.
  Every intersection on the way down here we get stopped, not by the police, but by residents giving out food. What is amazing is that the entire situation wasn't organized and everyone is coming on their own without any coordination.
  They're writing letters and blessings, how they're thinking of us all the time. There are those who spent hours making sandwiches, so they're as perfect and comforting as possible.
  How wonderful to belong to nation such as this. 

5. From Jerusalem:
If there are any families in the south who want to come for a Shabbat in Jerusalem to get away from it all please let me know. We have families ready to host you. 

6. From David:
We may be sending too much food...

Translation: The people of Israel spoil its soldiers. (Reading from right to left) - Before the operation, After the operation.

7. From Natan Sharansky:
Yesterday I went to Soroka Medical Center in Be'er Sheva to visit Gabriel Bennahim, a lone soldier from France who was seriously wounded in Gaza on Sunday. As I walked through the hospital corridors, I saw that all of the soldiers' rooms were full of people – families, friends, adoptive families, and well-wishing strangers. People were roaming through the halls with boxes overflowing with gift baskets, flowers, and letters from children all over Israel thanking the soldiers for defending our home. Truly one family.

Later that evening, I joined the funeral procession of French-born soldier Jordan Bensemhoun in Ashkelon. Jordan came to Israel and joined the IDF as a lone soldier. He was struck down in battle in Gaza on Monday fighting terrorists. We were concerned that Jordan's funeral would be sparsely attended because he had little family in Israel and the public had been cautioned not to travel because of the constant threat of rocket fire. So we helped ensure that his family could come and arranged to have two buses of French speakers who wanted to pay their respects on his final journey. In the end, over 6,000 people came out of their homes and shelters to honor Jordan. Overwhelmed by the massive crowd, Jordan's father asked me, "Do all these people know my son?" That is the secret of Israel. In reality, there is no such thing as a lone soldier.

From A Distance

I've always loved this song. I've always thought it beautiful and haunting and hopeful all at the same time. Bridgitte Raven was recording "From A Distance" in her studio in Israel when the air raid siren sounded.

"Had a little help from Hamas on this one.
Obviously wasn't expecting the siren but when I suddenly heard it through the headphones I ran out but came back to finish the song.
It threw me a bit, especially the booms, but the show must go on." Bridgitte Raven

You can hear it on the recording...

"From A Distance"

From a distance the world looks blue and green,
and the snow-capped mountains white.
From a distance the ocean meets the stream,
and the eagle takes to flight.

From a distance, there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
It's the voice of hope, it's the voice of peace,
it's the voice of every man.

From a distance we all have enough,
and no one is in need.
And there are no guns, no bombs, and no disease,
no hungry mouths to feed.

From a distance we are instruments
marching in a common band.
Playing songs of hope, playing songs of peace.
They're the songs of every man.
God is watching us. God is watching us.
God is watching us from a distance.

From a distance you look like my friend,
even though we are at war.
From a distance I just cannot comprehend
what all this fighting is for.

From a distance there is harmony,
and it echoes through the land.
And it's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves,
it's the heart of every man.

It's the hope of hopes, it's the love of loves.
This is the song of every man.
And God is watching us, God is watching us,
God is watching us from a distance.
Oh, God is watching us, God is watching.
God is watching us from a distance.

Wishing everyone a Shabbat Shalom.

We Are At War & I Am Proud To Be Israeli

I've not written for a week as the situation here has deteriorated and so has my mood.

On a personal level I have a traumatised child here. I hesitate to even write this as families on the border with Gaza have been running from rocket attacks for the past 14 years. We have had 3 air raid sirens and coped with them admirably. However, I am not in control of what the other kids say at kindergarten. The kids with older brothers and sisters who have friends with even older brothers and sisters.... and so things trickle down to even the little ones.

DD, who was already sleeping in my bed, will not now go to sleep in the bedroom if I am not there. She wakes up in the night and tells me she's scared of the baddies but she won't tell me what exactly because, "it's too bad, I can't tell you." Twice this week she was supposed to go to a friend to play after day-camp and cried that she didn't want to go, so they brought her home instead. And the frequent questions about rockets, what they do, baddies, where they are, etc... For all my lighthearted carry on attitude events have not gone unnoticed.

I am no longer concerned about our own safety. Rockets to Jerusalem were obviously not cost effective and seem to have stopped (although they're still raining down all over the south and centre of the country). Now it is a far worse situation. We had hoped to avoid a ground invasion at all costs but after 3 cease fires where we cease and Hamas fires, terror tunnels found as far as 1.5km into Israel and even under a kibbutz dining hall, rockets found hidden in an UNWRA school which UNWRA handed back to Hamas, and Gazan citizens told to ignore Israel's warnings that they send before firing (we want to destroy weapon stores not kill people), there was no other choice.

So now our boys and our men, my students, my friends' sons, brothers, and husbands, fathers, colleagues, neighbours, are risking their lives for our safety. Over 20 families have so far been plunged into despair. I was too frightened to call one of my friends last night as 13 soldiers from her new son-in-law's brigade were killed yesterday.

This is a war against Hamas, a recognised terrorist organisation funded by Iran and no less dangerous than Al Quaeda funded by Iraq. When America was brought to its knees on 9/11 and London was attacked on 7/7 four years later, America, Britain, France and Germany invaded Iraq and Afghanistan. That was approximately 3,052 civilians killed in the US and UK. Since then:

Between 2001-2014, some 21,000 to 23,000 civilians were killed in Afghanistan.

Between 2001-2014, 20,000 to 30,000 civilians were killed in Pakistan.

Between 2001-2014, 133,000 to 147,000 civilians were killed in Iraq.

All these civilians were killed by U.S., French, British and German forces.

data from http://www.jewishpress.com/news/breaking-news/us-israel-could-do-more-to-prevent-civilian-deaths/2014/07/18/

So don't talk to me about disproportionate retaliation.

I read this in a DailyMail comment (serves me right for going there): "Hamas rockets don't actually hurt anyone." - They are metal missiles with sharp edges, about 1m long and packed with explosives. What do you mean they don't hurt?! Over 1,500 of these have been fired into Israel in the past three weeks.

About the poor Palestinians. I'm not being facetious. They are poor indeed. When Israel pulled out of Gaza 9 years ago, we left working agricultural farms and were offering to provide training for their continuation. We left hotels, houses, factories. All this, along with billions in financial aid from Europe and the US, could have gone toward building a Palestinian utopia. Instead everything was destroyed. They have a long Mediterranean coastline - beaches for tourism (look at Sharm El Sheik for example), a port for exports (Israel did not start sanctions on shipping from Gaza until it was used to import weapons for destroying Israel), a delsalination plant could have been built so that water shortages will never be an issue. There was money for all this and more to spare. It was all used by Hamas to buy weapons of destruction.

The Gaza-Egyptian border is permanently closed because Egypt is scared of Hamas. No one mentions the Egyptian border when Israel is accused of locking the Gazans in. This is doubly ironic when Israel sends daily supplies of food and medicine across the border and Gazans cross into Israel for work and medical treatment in Israeli hospitals.

Now their homes, schools and hospitals are being used to store these weapons. Hamas knows it cannot win a weapons war against Israel with their unpredictable rockets, over 100 of which have fallen inside Gaza itself, but it can win the PR war if only thousands of innocent Palestinian civilians are killed. It was a coup for them when their own rockets destroyed the main electrical cables into Gaza - 70,000 civilians without electricity. The UN wasted no time announcing an impending humanitarian distaster. However, Israel fixed the cables so that we could continue supplying free electricity. Yes the Palestinians in Gaza are poor indeed.

We are fighting against terrorists and make no mistake, if they are allowed to continue operating they are not going to stop at destroying Israel. Israel is an easy target - it is a western outpost in the midst of hostile neighbours (some less hostile and we do 'enjoy' a cold peace with Jordan and Egypt, though not any actual support), it is small, and the world has a tendency to hate Jews and want to annihilate them every few hundred years.

9/11 and 7/7 followed by years of quagmire war in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan, should have taught the West who the baddies are. But still there are larger rallies protesting against Israel defending itself (and ultimately everyone) than there are rallies against the atrocities in Syria or Nigeria.

I started to get upset by the ignorance of many internet users, even though I have had wonderfully supportive and kind messages from my blogging friends. I watched incredulously as British politicians bashed Israel - where were they on 7/7/2005? I don't begin to understand the motives of non-Moslem moderates who in every other area of their lives enjoy the fruits of Israeli innovation and technology - laptops, mobile phones, medical innovations, kindles... watch the video below and see if you can realistically boycott Israel.

I started to get upset but then I rose above it. I am proud to be Israeli. I will continue to try to educate those who don't get it and pray that their ignorance does not in the end allow us all to be destroyed.

Rocket Attacks: The Musical

I have posted this before but it's worth watching again.

Four years ago a kindergarten teacher in Sderot wrote this song for her pupils who were showing signs of traumatic stress (withdrawing inwards, bed-wetting, regression, etc...) after constant rocket attacks from Gaza. These children have 15 seconds to reach a safe area before the "BOOM!" And the "TZEVA ADOM" (Code Red) can come any time of the day or night

This is one class performing the song for the camera but the sirens are sounding all over the south of Israel several times a day and night. It's often the bravado that gets to you the most. This makes me cry every time.

Sunday Snippets From The War

We are on edge. Every speeding motorcycle, a car revving up or changing gears, even the wind howling in the trees, can make you jump up ready to make a run move with urgency to the bomb shelter or safety zone (i.e. under the stairs or other such safer areas). You can imagine how a police or ambulance siren taunts us. As of this weekend, the ambulances have switched to ice-cream van music instead of a siren. This could pose another sort of trauma to mothers with toddlers but this is possibly the lesser evil. Or not.

We have silent radio stations (The Silent Wave). There are wavelengths for each city that you can tune into and they only sound the air-raid siren when it occurs. Some areas have fewer or quieter sirens it seems. It's also hard to hear if you have all your double glazed windows shut, the A/C on, and music (not from the radio) on in the background. On Shabbat when many people don't listen to the radio or tv at all, they leave the silent wave on all day. Deep sleepers are also advised to use it at night.

And of course you can download the siren app to your ipod or smartphone.

No-one steps into the shower without first hanging a towelling robe on the back of the door. Slippers or sandals are placed next to beds. Pyjamas are back in vogue, even for the young and sexy. I won't go into other toilet issues but it's not relaxed.

Jokes in our house have become topical. On our way downstairs this morning DD joked: It would be funny if the siren went off now when we're already on the stairs and half way to the shelter.
Me: Yes that would be funny. We could say, ha ha we were coming down anyway!
DD (giggling): Yes, ha ha we were nearly there anyway!

I can hear the children in the school playground opposite. By far the best and most popular game is to imitate the sound of the siren to see if anyone is fooled. What a hoot eh? (Pardon the pun.)

Yesterday evening we had our third siren in Jerusalem. DD was half way down the stairs before I'd even put down my laptop. As I descended I heard my neighbour call her away from the front door and into the shelter. "What were you doing by the front door," I asked her when I got there, "did you forget where you were going?"
"No, I wanted to see if I could see a rocket."

Second Siren To The East...

...and keep praying until morning.

This morning I called DD's swimming teacher to see if her lesson was still on. It was. We went to the pool, they had the lesson and then, as usual, DD and her friends play in the pool for about another hour. They were in the large children's pool, about 80cm deep and with a life guard on duty. The parents sit round the edge on deck chairs, chatting and keeping an eye on their kids.

It's noisy with about 40 kids in the pool, 40 more in the main pool (olympic size doncha know), and another 20 kids in the enormous paddling pool for toddlers just beyond the children's pool. And I'm chatting to my friend.

Suddenly I see a surge of mothers heading toward the pool with stricken looks on their faces. I didn't hear the siren (I need to get the phone app asap) but I knew straight away what it was. I too jumped up and surged toward the pool, grabbed DD and ran for the shelter.

We didn't actually make it to the shelter as there were too many people filling the underground(ish) corridors leading to the changing rooms. It felt safe enough there so there we stayed for the obligatory 10 minutes. However people were already saying they'd heard the boom and seen the smoke.

When we returned outside I saw the smoke lingering above South Jerusalem where Iron Dome had intercepted and blown up Qassam Rocket. (It's only a matter of time before the new superhero movie and merchandise hit the cinemas.)

100 disgruntled kids left the pool early with 50 shell shocked mums. We stopped for hot dogs on the way home to compensate. And we got home just in time for the moonlight movie (if there is an air-raid the shelters are here, here and here). This week it was Shrek Forever. We almost had to leave in the middle as DD was too scared of the dragon.

Are We At War Yet?

Tonight air raid sirens have sounded throughout the south of Israel and even as far north as Jerusalem, although the Jerusalem sirens are now said to have been a false alarm.

Four weeks ago, three Jewish Israeli teenagers were abducted on their way home from school. They were killed almost immediately it turns out, although we weren't told that at the time. We were led to believe that there was hope of them coming back alive.

What did this false hope do? What was it for? How did it shape events? I have no answers, only questions...

1. The kindest theory is that the Israeli authorities did not want to give up hope on the strength of gunshots heard on the telephone call from one of the boys, followed by cheering from the abductors, before the phone was disconnected. A weak theory but still a theory.

2. Another, harsher, theory is that under the guise of searching for our boys we had carte blanche to go into Arab areas and arrest 500 suspected (or known - depending on who you hear it from) terrorists.

3. It certainly brought the Jewish world together in a unity unseen for many years. We prayed together, we lit candles, sang at midnight vigils, wrote blogs, signed petitions, wrote letters, we cried together, we tore our hearts out. Is this a unity that was manipulated in order for the necessary support if we decided to destroy Hamas once and for all?

4. Is this justified? If we go to war we have to win. If we lose one war there will be no more Israel and we will become millions of refugees or dead people, again. Though I feel manipulated I would certainly want any measures to be taken that would save all our lives.

5. Is going to war justified? If we do it's not because three boys were murdered. This tragic event could be the catalist but the war will be because of constant rocket attacks fired from Gaza onto civilians in Israel over the nine years since we pulled all Jewish presence out of there. (Though we had to withdraw, there was no choice.)

One week ago Muhammad Abu Khdeir, a 16yo Palestinian boy was abducted and murdered. Another senseless and tragic loss for his family and friends. I'm writing his name this time. (See this post from Sunday and the comments from Caz below.) We hoped that it was not a revenge attack but it was. Six Jewish Israelis were arrested and charged.

Am I crying and breaking my heart over Muhammad's death. No I'm not. I abhor it and feel sad and angry for him and his family in the way you feel for any senseless and brutal murder that you read about in the news. I did not 'know' him like I 'knew' Gilad, Naftali, and Eyal.

Rioting has erupted in Arab (Israeli and Palestinian) towns and villages throughout the country in protest. Millions of dollars of damage has been done that will take months to repair. vehicles have been stoned, more people, including more teenagers, have been hurt.

There are are number of Jewish responses to Muhammad's murder. They range from guilt ridden apologies to the Palestinians, to breast thumping in anguish over how Jews could be so brutal and callous, to racially listing the ways we are still morally superior and they are still animals, to anger at the f***ing stupidity of a revenge murder.

To the apologists I sympathise. There were also Palestinians who came to comfort the families of the three Jewish boys and there are many who yearn for peace as much as we do, who just want to live a quiet life in safety and prosperity.

To the breast thumpers I say, 'grow up. We have Jewish murderers and extremists too, have you never read the news?'

To the morally superior I don't know what to say. There is certainly a difference in the reactions of those on either side who seek publicity. And even then, it is usually a core of leaders who shape public reaction and a load of followers who, well, just follow. Though this is no excuse, some of the followers are very young, and I too have been a follower in my time. However, I wouldn't paint everyone with the same brush. We prayed together except for the six who went out and murdered a child. They celebrated the three Jewish murders except for the ones who came to cry with their grieving families. Maybe we can all unite against extremists everywhere? And also, there is a time and a place and this wasn't it.

To the angry, I am with you 100%.

To the six Jewish murderers I say, 'how is another young death going to change anything for anyone on either side? All you have done is bring the whole country down with you.' I'm not one to use foul language as a rule but I'll say it again, 'as well as being animals of the lowest order you are f***ing stupid morons who deserve the worst punishment there is.'

These are my personal thoughts on a Monday night in Jerusalem. I am not a politician, a journalist, a political analyst, an historian, a mover and shaker, or someone with any influence. I am one of the people just going with the flow because I have no choice and hoping for the best.

Sirens Over Jerusalem

Today the sirens sounded over Jerusalem for the second time. It was at 14:20 and I was at home. I rushed down to our recently cleared bomb shelter and waited with a few of the neighbours who also happened to be at home. Reader, we heard the boom. However, we waited the full 10 minutes just in case there were more.

There was an email from the kindergarten: Just to let you know that we are all safe and got to the shelter in good time. Luckily they, along with all schools in Jerusalem, had bomb shelter drill on Sunday and so they knew what to do.

I was glad they had talked about it at the Kindergarten with the children. I wasn't happy with my explanation to DD that it was a game. I kept thinking of that tragic film Life Is Beautiful - God forbid! The talk went right over her head. She has no idea what a war or a rocket is. I don't think she even knows what a soldier is. All she understands is that when there's a big noise everyone has to go to the shelter quickly.

News reports announced that the rocket hit open ground but not that far away from us. It actually hit closest to two Arab villages just outside Jerusalem. Just shows, you gotta be very careful with lethal missiles. Don't try this at home.

This evening I showed DD this picture from Ofakim in the south of Israel. It has been going round on facebook. I told her that if we are ever outside and not near a shelter when the sirens go off, this is what we have to do.

Hoping and praying we never need to.

Meanwhile I'm still sleeping in DD's bed with her, with my big cardigan on over my pjs for a bit of modesty if we have to leave the privacy of our own home, and with thick socks for DD in my pocket as she won't wear socks in bed. I expect this will be the arrangement for the duration.

A Reply To Comments On The War

I have dedicated the past three posts on this blog to the situation in Israel at the moment. Most of the comments written have offered me their love, best wishes, and hopes that things will not escalate into a full blown war. I thank you all for this, it really does help.

Many comments have also expressed sadness for those suffering on the other side, i.e. in Gaza. You are right to be sad for the Gazans. The fact is that most of the 1.17 million residents of Gaza are innocent civilians who would be extremely happy to have Hamas leave them to get on with living their lives productively in peace and safety. I and all of Israel feel desperately sad for these people caught up under a regime they neither asked for nor want.

I just want you all to know that we know about the poor souls who are suffering on the other side. Believe me, we know. That is one of the reasons, as well as world pressure, that we have not retaliated on such a big scale until now. However, a million of our citizens are at breaking point already and when over 300 missiles were fired at them in the space of a few days last week, we could see no alternative but to fight back.

Israel has dropped leaflets, made thousands of phone calls and loud broadcasts trying to warn the innocent in Gaza to stay away from known weapons supplies and military centres. This is not easy because some of them are in schools and hospitals. And we continue to let in medical supplies and other essentials including continuing to provide clean water, gas and electricity.

We pray for those suffering in Gaza as well and if anyone could tell us how to defend our children in a better way we would do it. Obviously no other way has been found.

If the rocket attacks from Gaza stopped we would stop retaliating immediately.

Meanwhile Israel is preparing for a war on the ground. This is the last thing we want - the casualties on both sides will be enormous.

However, the bottom line is that we cannot sacrifice a million citizens (more now as the rockets are reaching Tel Aviv and beyond) even when we know that innocents on the other side will also die.

Tragically this is the nature of war. Militants do not attack from deserted islands but from the midst of civilian lives.

So please know that we are not oblivious to anyone's suffering, just desperately trying to defend ourselves against a rain of rockets on our towns and villages.

Thoughts From The War

Here is a photograph of some of my friends' children on Thursday night. They look happy enough for the camera but they are in fact sheltering from an incoming rocket from Gaza. They spent much of that night, and every night,  in this glorified coat and broom cupboard which is their safest room.

Where they live, on a kibbutz in Southern Israel is a place I've visited many times. Twice I've written about caught up in a rocket attack. Here with DD and here when I was pregnant. Since writing these posts the kibbutz has suffered a direct hit.

And on Wednesday, before Israel went into action, I posted a heartbreaking  video clip of a children's party in the park that turns into horror and panic as the CODE RED is sounded. That clip was from four years ago so you can see that this is not something recent. Obviously it wasn't a recent video as parties in the park, or even a quick swing and a go in the slide, are a thing of the past for these children - far too risky as it involves being more than 15 seconds away from a bomb shelter.

Over 12000 missiles have been fired on Israeli civilians in the past 12 years. Seven years ago Israel left the whole area of Gaza. We have no military presence in Gaza. 21 communities left their homes, farms, green houses and factories to help the Gazans achieve a thriving economy. Israel continued supplying water, gas and electricity to the region and work permits for Gazans who have jobs in Israel. For their part they continued firing the rockets at Israeli civilians.

This week the rocket fire was escalated once again and the people in the south were at breaking point - which is why I published my post on Wednesday. On Wednesday evening we fought back. By Wednesday night I am reading and hearing on the BBC and CNN about Israeli aggression.

The footage of the assassination of terrorist Ahmed Jabari clearly shows that the IDF waited until his car was clear of other cars and isolated before they shot. At other times it's more difficult to isolate the targets as missiles are fired from residential buildings and the stores of explosives are often hidden near schools and hospitals. Nevertheless leaflets like this (in Arabic) have been dropped by the IDF and loud warnings are broadcast before buildings are targeted. I read on the BBC that Israel are firing on Gaza "with scant regard for civilian life." Ask the residents of Southern Israel what that feels like!

Our Prime Minister, who is accused of cynically starting a war to enhance his chances in the January general election, rather chose not to prolong the suffering of the southern residents until after the election that he pretty much had in the bag - but that may change if this all goes horribly wrong.

Bibi Netanyahu is quoted this week saying: If Israel lay down its arms it would be destroyed and its citizens murdered. If the Arab States lay down their arms there would be peace in the Middle East. I've heard this quote before but could anyone argue against it?

Last evening the siren went off for the first time in Jerusalem. I quickly turned off the oven, grabbed my front door keys and my 4yo daughter (who wasn't wearing any shoes or socks) and we rushed out to shelter under the stairs in the communal stairwell. There we met my neighbour with her 3yo and baby. Her husband and older son were in the shower. When the siren stopped after about 2 minutes we went back inside. Later she came down to tell me that instructions are to stay in the shelters for 10 minutes after the sirens.

Last night I told DD that she was sleeping with me. She insisted that we both sleep in her bed - my bed is better as my bedroom is largely internal and recessed except for the 5ft of wall with the window in it and her room has three external walls. But I gave in. She also wouldn't wear socks in bed so I slept in a big cardigan over my pyjamas (for a bit of modesty if were to meet the neighbours under the stairs again) and a pair of thick socks for DD in my pocket. I also hung the front door key on the front door handle for easy grabbing.

All evening I thought twice before going the the loo and I didn't dare shower. I also went a bit manic with 'sharing' information on fb and twitter. And I stuffed my face with all manner of unhealthy food. I may be a little stressed.

DD keeps asking me about that 'game' when we had to run outside. "But why did we play that game?" and "Are we doing it again? When?"

There are supporters of Israel who understand the situation. I ask myself what is the rest of the world thinking? Do they want us to take the slack so as not to inflame the situation in the Middle East and possibly drag in the rest of the world? Well we allowed our civilians to be fired on for 7 years after we pulled out of Gaza. Enough is enough.

I ask myself why we just don't turn off the water, electric and gas supply to Gaza until they stop firing missiles into Israel. But I know that we won't make the entire civilian population of Gaza suffer like that because of Hamas. At the moment we are targeting the enemy only.

There have been casualties and fatalities, on both sides, including children. There is no difference on either side to a mother who has lost a child. There is a difference between aggression and defense however. There is a difference between constant attack and retaliation delayed until it was just unbearable.

And if anyone is still unsure what it's all about, just watch this 5 minute course on the Middle East Conflict.