Is It Over? - R2BC

One single poppy
(There was a live concert in the street below.
Not much social distancing.
Israelis are largely voting with their feet on that.)

Here are this week's Reasons 2B Cheerful. It's an interesting exercise to come up with things when you only venture outside twice a week to go to the supermarket. Thank goodness for facebook and zoom. And You Tube and Netflix of course. The Linky is with Becky on Lakes Single Mum if you want to see what other cheerful bloggers have been getting up to.

1
Schools Return
All schools go back this week. DD starts on Monday. So no splitting classes but there will be staggered playtimes, personal distancing as much as possible, no sharing food or touching, and masks worn all day. It's going to be 37C for most of this week but the classrooms do have A/C.

Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel about it. I know three people who died of covid-19. And another seven people who are immediate relatives of friends. But not in Israel. Otoh, we still have over 3,000 active cases in Israel and the whole pandemic started from one person.

DD is more than excited so this is a reasons 2B cheerful for her.

I don't return to school because the foundation that pays me isn't reinstating their teachers yet. I teach the native English speakers so I'm considered extra-curricula. I'm wondering if they will take us back at all this year as their academic year stops with the colleges at the beginning of June (I don't usually finish the school year). It's a big cut in money but, otoh, we're spending very little atm. I don't really mind. I take a 40 minute bus ride to school and work closely with young children. I'd rather feel safe. But obviously I'll do as I'm told.

2
Family Quiz Night
My nephews organized a family quiz night on Thursday. We were five teams in four locations and each team made a round of five questions. There ended up being a couple of extra rounds and up to 10 questions were accepted. It was fun. DD and I came bottom.

3
One Poppy
Over a month after the official poppy season in Israel, one single poppy appeared in my meadow (planting box). It was beautiful. It was only there for a week and now it's gone. Such is life.

Mothers' Day On Social Media

Mothers' Day a million years ago

Today is the American (some say Hallmark) holiday of Mothers' Day. Several of my friends on facebook felt the need to acknowledge that Mothers' Day can be a difficult day for many. The childless, those who have lost children, are estranged from their child, or estranged from their mother, those who have lost their mother...

I get it. It sometimes feels awkward to be happy in the face of others who are suffering over this very issue that we are celebrating. This is one of the reasons why Israel changed its Mothers Day
to Family Day. But this also isn't 100% comfortable. Why shouldn't mothers, in the one job with no days off during the year, have a special day to celebrate their unique role?

When we post photos of a fabulous wedding, do we feel the need to acknowledge singles who are lonely and desperately searching for their soul-mate or secretly wistful over the wedding they never had?

New baby photos, Bar and Bat Mitzva photos, wedding anniversaries. These are all events that will pass some people by and cause them pain.

I once wrote a blog post about how it took me time to work out how to live in my apartment and arrange it comfortably. I received a comment telling me not to be so spoilt as there are many people who would love to be home owners but can't see any way of making that ever happen. It was a fair point but does that mean I can never write anything about how I love my home? I don't believe this. I think I just caught her on a sensitive day.

However, during this lockdown I began to feel funny about people posting their children playing in their gardens or of taking walks in nearby country locations. Even a photo of us enjoying lunch on our balcony seemed like a poke in the eye to all the city folk in flats without any outside space.

I admitted a couple of times that I've enjoyed this time at home with DD. Woops. Sorry sorry sorry. I know there are whole large families in smaller apartments than ours. I know others have lost their jobs and are worried about paying the rent or mortgage, or cannot even pay for food. I know that more than a quarter of a million people have lost loved ones. I know all this. So should I just keep my mouth shut rather than admit that I've enjoyed this extreme slowness of pace?

When I wrote a blog post about amazing things people have done during lockdown, there was a reminder to spare a thought for those who couldn't. I was told that some people were struggling. Gosh it's exhausting to consider the whole of humanity every time you write a comment. And yet, I wasn't being asked to consider the whole of humanity, just those who started in similar situations to myself but are now struggling. But why only them?

In Israel we are in a transitional period in which immediate families are allowed to get together. It means that children and grandchildren can now go to Grandma's house. I saw photos of family gatherings with the grandparents, adult siblings, and cousins all having a whale of a time together. We have no immediate family in Israel and I felt it. For us there is no transitional period, either we can socialise with friends or we're in the same isolation as we've been in for the past two months.

Is it the responsibility of social media not to cause distress in these ways? Every time we post a comment from a position of happiness, good luck, thankfulness, or celebration, should we temper it with an acknowledgement that others don't have what we have? In some ways that's worse. Patronizing even. Should we not post happy things at all? That would make social media a pretty depressing place to be. Unless we took out the social bit altogether and just called it media for information and discussion. 

When we celebrated VE Day on Friday, there was a two minute silence for those who gave their lives to fight for our freedom and for those who lost their lives during that fight. Then we partied without guilt because it happened three generations ago. I wonder if everyone celebrated to the same extent on that first VE Day 75 years ago. I imagine not.

So it's not social media, it's the human experience. Or rather the human experiences. Everyone's experience is different. Some people have truly wretched lives. More often than not life's not fair. We know this and I have no empty platitudes to attempt making it seem otherwise.

I say celebrate at every opportunity. If your child pampers you on Mothers Day, enjoy it and thank him or her with a hug and a smile. If you do Mothers' Day (our family never has) call your mother and tell her personally. Does it mean more if you announce it to your 500 followers and friends on social media? Personally I think not, but if it does, then put it out there. I'm not the social media police, just offering some food for thought.

Crazy Cousins

Very near my Mum's, on the Watford Way between Elstree and Stanmore (in case anyone is interested in going there and I don't remember what it's called) is the largest (apparently) crazy golf in Europe. 

On a Sunday morning in September I invited my three nephews to join us for a round of crazy golf. "Bring your student cards, I'm paying." That ensured full attendance and we were picked up first thing in the morning at around 10.30. That's bright and early for two students and a recent graduate. 

They can all three of them drive now and the oldest was behind the wheel. We could have walked there but it was a moving experience being driven by my nephews. I remembered taking them on the train for a treat when they were little.

Anyhoo, back to the golf. There are two courses you can choose from - the Jungle or the Dinosaurs. We chose to do 18 holes on the Jungle Course. 

Some of the holes were more crazy than others but they're all designed to be not too difficult. The last thing you want is a queue building up whilst someone is still trying after 100 putts. Even so, there was some nifty footwork employed when necessary and nobody minded. 

The boys were very patient with DD, giving her some guidance over her swing, etc... (I say etc... because I've almost run out of golf jargon.) 

I have no idea what my handicap is and whatever we scored was par for the course, or significantly below par, or just fun. (There, that's all the golf jargon I know.)

We will definitely be visiting again.  

The Wedding - R2BC

DD was a bridesmaid.

In my last post I explained how in Israel the summer holidays segue into the autumn Jewish festivals and no one takes real life absolutely seriously until after all the festivals, particularly people in academia and/or with children in academia. Tertiary education doesn't even start until after the festivals. This year the festivals were very late - probably the latest possible as we had a leap month back in March. Add to this that I work according to university semesters and we were away for most of September, it's been a helluva long break from real life and routines. But now I'm back on the blog.

So here are my Reasons 2B Cheerful...

1
London in September
Two of my favourite things in one time and place - London and September. we went for my brother's wedding. The celebrations lasted three weeks! The weekend before is the Groom's Shabbat when he celebrates with his community. We all went to my brother's synagogue and enjoyed a celebratory lunch after the  morning services. It was trebly great for me as I sat with cousins I don't see very often and we got to meet my future s-i-l's family for the first time. And, more importantly, we liked them.

The banqueting hall at The Old Palace, Hatfield House

2
My Brother's Wedding
The wedding itself was a week later on the following Sunday. It was at the Old Palace at Hatfield House. It was a lovely wedding but for me an added enchantment lay in the fact that we were eating dinner in the same banqueting hall as Elizabeth l once ate. It's the place she was living when they came to tell her that she was the Queen of England. 486 years later Rachel Selby (and some others) is dining in the same hall. Legend has it that she was sitting under an oak tree when they told her but I'm sure they had some sort of celebratory dinner later.

3
Sheva Brachot
This is a tradition whereby the wedding celebrations are drawn out for another week as each night different friends or relatives host a dinner for the couple and include friends who were not at the wedding. Sheva Brachot means 'seven blessings'. It refers to the seven blessings that are added to the end of the grace after meals in the presence of a newly married couple during the week after their wedding.

It was a small wedding so my mother hosted the first of the Sheva Brachot to which she invited all her friends and a wider circle of cousins. I got to see all the cousins and 'aunties and uncles' of my childhood. It was in a local restaurant so no clearing up afterwards either.

A week later my sister hosted the final of the seven Sheva Brachot in her house. It was the perfect ending to all the celebrations. I caught up with all my sister's friends whom I've got to know a bit over the years. I sat  and caught up with with another cousin who'd not been at the previous events. Lots of clearing up but I actually love that 'all hands on deck' effort at the end of a successful party.

The day finished with a short walk to see my brother and s-i-l's new house followed by several rounds of the game of Catan back at my sister's.

That's enough for now. I have sufficient blog fodder from our trip to last several posts so I intend to be back on the blog more regularly from now on. I'm not sure if there is a R2BC linky atm as we all flaked out over the summer. I'm checking it out.

I Was Wrong About The Clarinet - R2BC

Jerusalem Orchestra

Reason 2B cheerful are plentiful this week.

1
We Break Up
It's the end of the school year. One more week to go and I'm actually in school for only two more days. And one day in college will have almost half my year course students passed and signed off. DD has to return all her school textbooks tomorrow and she has her end of year party in the afternoon. I will be working on a summer course and meeting with another 18 students from the Year course but without four days a week in school it's all much more relaxed. I have plans - of course. :)

School Orchestra

2
Clarinet Soloist
DD had her end of year concerts this week. The Jerusalem Cub Orchestra was fantastic and the kids were so excited to be playing in a real theatre and with other older orchestras and bands. The next day they had the school orchestra end of year concert. In this one DD had a solo. The girl who wouldn't be part of any school assembly because she was too shy, had the first solo.

The children who are in both orchestras performed a surprise rendition of 'Toy" from the Eurovision Song Contest. I never knew it actually had a tune until I heard this orchestrated version. It was a lot of fun as all the children started clapping and singing along.

One of the fathers said to me afterwards, "weren't you the parent who complained at the beginning of the year about them having to take up a new instrument when they can't play the recorder yet?" I still think a recorder ensemble is lovely and worthwhile, but I admit that I was wrong about the clarinet. We will be continuing next year.

School solo

3
Family Visits
My nephew stayed with us last week, on his way to be a leader for a group of school children from his old school who are touring Israel for two weeks. It was sharav weather last Shabbat (over 36∘C) so we just stayed in, enjoyed each other's company, and played contract whist. We do love our card games. And this week I'm looking forward to seeing my cousin who's here for a wedding.

I've joined the linky over at Becky's Lakes Single Mum
along with the other cheerful bloggers.

R2BC - Why I Probably Won't Be A Travel Writer

We made the papers. Well, one paper. 

We arrived in London late on Sunday night (after midnight late) so we were in no fit state to hit the ground running on Monday morning. I didn't even make those all important phone calls to friends to ensure that I get to see my friends while we're here.

My mum suggested we go to shopping with DD and get all her shopping done. She lives equidistant from Watford and Brent Cross shopping centres (right in the middle of the 142 bus line). So it was either Primark and a light, airy shopping experience or H&M and claustrophobia. We chose the former and went to Watford (although by car not on the 142).

DD was kitted out in Primark so we only had to go to M&S for the obligatory cup of coffee and slice of cake. On the way out DD noticed the menu displayed above the counter with a photo of the fish and chips. "I didn't know they served meals here," she said. "If I'd known they serve meals I'd have ordered a meal."

On Tuesday DD's cousins came round to play. They're 17 and 20. They horsed around with DD for a while, showed her how to find her place at Hogwarts via the Pottermore website, and then left her to it while we played Kalooky.

Wednesday was supposed to be our big day out sightseeing and exploring London. It was pouring with rain. We hung about the house all morning and eventually, in desperation, I took DD to the cinema to see 'A Wrinkle in Time' and out for pizza afterwards. (Incidently, including a detour into Waterstones, this little outing cost more than kitting out DD for the summer in Primark.)

On Thursday I went to my sister to help her cook for Passover while DD helped Grandma bake cakes and biscuits for the festival.

And yesterday was the first of two Seder Nights. We finished ours at about 1.30 in the morning and DD stayed over with her cousins while I came home with my mum. We are going back again later for the next and final Seder.

It's been a very slow week and not helped by the constant and often quite violent rain. But I ordered some books from Amazon Prime which amazingly really did arrive the next day, so I've been happy enough. And it takes the best part of a day to get through the Daily Mail that is delivered to the door every morning.

Talking of deliveries. We also get The Jewish Chronicle. This week's paper provided some excitement (apart from the long overdue tackling of Jeremy Corbyn and co) in that I had an article in it. It's also in the online version so here's the link.

So these are my reasons 2B cheerful this week. A lazy week near London in the rain. And this is probably why I'll never be a travel writer. As well as being #rubbishphotographer I'm just far too fond of hanging out. I feel no urgency to rush around seeing everything and visiting museums. I like watching the weather from the kitchen table armed with a cup of coffee.

Apart from the JC article and Seder Night, the most exciting thing to have happened is that we finally finished the giant bottle of Johnson's Baby Shampoo that was bought for my first visit with DD nine years ago, when she was four months old.

Now I must go and make some of those phone calls before we get on the plane to go home. And you are invited to visit the R2BC linky on Mich's Mummy from the Heart. Happy Easter and Passover from a decidedly wet London.

March Project and Celebration - R2BC

Almond blossom in Jerusalem. One of the signs of spring.
We even have a song about it. 

In case you  missed it. I'm making a celebration and doing a project for each month of 2018. So far January celebrated 'Turning Over a New Leaf' and the project was to get all my paper work in order. It's almost done. 😜

February celebrated the end of the winter and the first signs of spring. The project was major decluttering and spring cleaning. It's almost done. 😜

March is really the start of spring here. I put the radiators away today. (We have socks and fleeces if it gets a bit chilly in the evening.) That's a reason 2B cheerful in itself. Here are my other Reasons 2B Cheerful for this week.

This year the festivals of Purim (which is our equivalent to Mardi Gras and Carnivale) and Pesach (Passover) both fall in March (the 1st for Purim and the 30th for Pesach). So the Celebration is friends and family.

The project is getting together with friends, inviting friends for Shabbat meals (not every meal), making the effort to do all those 'coffees' that I really want to do but the winter kept getting in the way, and spending time with family (over Pesach).

Basically, it's a kick in the behind to get off the sofa, out from under the blankets, and reconnect with the world. There's a sub-plot to this project because in order to make all those coffee dates I have to be up to date with my work. And in order to invite people over I have to be on top of the housework because I can't invite people to a dirty house. So it's also a general kick to get going with everything. Those lazy winter evenings that started at 5 pm are over (and we didn't even do one jigsaw-puzzle).

Tonight is the actual night of Purim in Jerusalem so we're starting off in grand style by going to a Purim service and party at friends. It's dressing up for those who want to, a vegetarian potluck, and a lovely get-together of old and new friends. I'm taking potato salad. And tomorrow we have some friends coming over at lunchtime for the Purim meal. Not a bad beginning to a month of socializing.

So  here's to a sociable March. And of course to finishing off that paperwork thing, continued decluttering, and finishing spring cleaning.

The R2BC Linky is back at Michelle's Mummy from the Heart for the month of March. I'll be hanging out there as usual with the gang.

Being 'Opposite'

Rolling up her sleeves to tuck into a large Belgian Chocolate Waffle. 

Last Friday they celebrated family day in DD's school. It's the same programme every year but with a different theme. Every year they invite the children to bring in their grandparents or an uncle, aunt or cousin. There's an assembly, they go to the classes and hear stories from the grandparents on the theme, and there's food (obviously).

It's a nice morning. I enjoyed it the first year. The second year was a bit samey. By the third year I really didn't need to go and meet everyone's grandparents again - especially as we have no relatives in the country to bring.

I have some second cousins but not in Jerusalem. Anything further than second cousins I probably wouldn't even know and would include half of the Jews from London probably. I had a friend in primary school whom I used to dance with in country dancing lessons, who turned out to be my third cousin. We had no idea at the time. My Dad sat next to his Dad in synagogue for 30 years and they had no idea that they were second cousins. It gets ridiculous after a generation or two.

So last year in Third Grade, DD went but I didn't. This year she didn't feel the need to go either so we went out for waffles for breakfast to celebrate our family of two.

A word on the waffles. I'm not eating sugar so I went for a savoury waffle. DD's waffle was far too big for one meal so we had half of it wrapped and we took it home. She ate the other half for breakfast on Saturday morning. She didn't need chocolate covered waffle for breakfast two days in a row.

One option is for two people to share one dish - they happily provide two plates for this purpose. But if they sold a reasonable portion for one serving at half the price, we'd definitely go more often. Especially as this was our second eating out in the past couple of weeks. The first time when DD said she wanted a waffle, I said she could have it for dessert. The pizza she ordered for her main course was way too big for her to finish and we brought half of that home with us too. We never got to the waffle. On Friday I said she could go straight for the waffle. Seriously though, half the mains and half the dessert for the same price would be preferable and we really would do it more often.

Today the Purim festivities started. DD's school have a dressing up theme for each day until they break up for the Purim holiday next Tuesday. Today was pyjama day. I put clean pyjamas, Ugg slippers, and her big fluffy dressing gown on the bed this morning in case she wanted to wear them for school. I knew she wouldn't. She came out in normal school clothes.

DD: Do I have to go to school today?
Me: Yes.
DD: I don't want to be the only one not in pyjamas.
Me: So wear pyjamas.
DD: No, I don't want to. It's silly.

DD never dresses up - she hates it. She's the only one in the whole school not in costume on the day of the Purim Parade and she doesn't care. The first time she refused to wear a costume was when she was two. I cried. After that I provided a costume each year which she hardly wore - only if bribed strongly urged to by the teacher. After that I gave up. Each year we go to the costume shop to look at costumes. I tell her she can have anything she wants. She won't choose anything. End of.

One of the things about Purim is to be silly. The idea is to be 'opposite'. I think it's because, in the story, the Persian minister wanted to kill the Jews but in the end, the minister and his sons were executed instead and the Jew became a Persian minister. So we dress up and let ourselves do things we wouldn't ordinarily do like eat and drink too much (haha, that's a joke).

As she walked out the door, DD said to me, "Well I am joining in sort of. I'm being 'opposite'."

  

Hanukkah Nights Two, Three, Four, Five, and Six

Third night we lit at the airport. 

We got back from London on Sunday evening so I'm still in catch up mode. I wrote about the first night of Hanukkah here.

The second night was just DD and me at home. I didn't take any photos but she did get a new umbrella for her present. It replaced the old one which is in perfect condition and will go to the Yedidya Bazaar in March. It was time for an upgrade as nine year olds cannot been seen with a little pink umbrella decorated with Bratz dolls. I got that.

Third night we were at the airport and of course we lit candles there. We declined the big sugary doughnuts though.

Fifth night family party at Mum's. Party hats are compulsery.

Fourth night we went to my sister for Friday night dinner and lit candles there. My gift and DD's gift was that she got to stay the night and spend the whole of Shabbat with her cousins while I went home with my mum.

On the fifth night which was Saturday night, my mum hosted the immediate family for our family Hanukkah party. It's candle lighting, presents, dinner, latkes and doughnuts (not together), a quiz, crackers and party hats - the whole thing.

Cousins conferring over the joke from the cracker

Sixth night, my sister hosted Sunday lunch for my b-i-l's family. When it's her turn to host their Hanukkah party we get to go too. More latkes and more doughnuts.

So far so festive. However, on the Seventh night we had more lights than ever.... you'll have to wait until tomorrow for that as it deserves a whole blog post on its own. And I have to go to bed as the teachers' strike I was so hoping for tomorrow has been called off.

Mothering Sunday

Mum & DD, April 2012. I don't have a recent one #rubbishphotographer

Tomorrow is Mothering Sunday in the UK. Traditionally the second Sunday in Lent, it's about going home to pray at your mother church as well as visiting your mother and bringing her gifts. In the US it has turned into Mother's Day and is celebrated on the second Sunday in May. In Israel we celebrate Family Day (which used to be Mother's Day) on the Yahrzeit of Henrietta Szold who had no children of her own but saved 22,000 children from Hitler in Europe. This year it was on February 26th and I think I missed it.

Anyway, as I grew up in England's green and pleasant land, this post is honour of Mothering Sunday, even though I have no mother church to visit.

Six Things My Mother Did That I Don't Do:

1. Ironing. I don't buy thin cottons and I hang our clothes carefully on the line so that they dry smoothly. And if there are a few creases, body warmth soon deals with them. In fairness to my mother, she did have four of us wearing daily button-down shirts: my Dad, my brother, and even us two girls had to wear them for school uniform.

2. Make a three course dinner every night. You have to feel sorry for women in the 1970s as they were caught in the middle of old fashioned housewives on the one side and women's liberation and a severe economic depression, on the other. My mother went back to work full time when I was about 10 but she still felt that she needed to make a three course dinner every night. Sometimes we would be still eating at 9 pm. In hindsight, it was completely crazy.

3. Host Mid-Week Dinner Parties. Nowadays, especially in Israel, we entertain for one of the meals over Shabbat (Friday night or Saturday lunch). But I think that even in the UK, people tend to entertain mainly at the weekends. We go out to a film or a concert mid-week but having people over not so much. Our lives are too busy and we're too exhausted after a day's work, children's activities and homework, and preparing more work for the next day. If we do go round to friends mid-week it's called a light supper and usually comprises of soup, pasta and a salad.

4. Knitting. I can knit and crotchet but, as my mother herself pointed out, it's more expensive to buy the wool these days than it is to go out and buy a jumper or cardigan.

5. Wear make-up every day (including foundation) and go to the hairdresser once a week for a wash and blow dry. I just don't and my mother still does.

6. Make fabulous desserts - Lemon Cream Gateau, Black Forest Cherry Cake, Chestnut Pavlova, Eton Mess, Cheese Cake, Steamed Syrup Pudding, Lockshen Kugel, Bread Pudding, Cherry Shissel, Apple Strudel, homemade biscuits, and the list goes on. Well I'm doing Keto aren't I? But even before I discovered the keto diet, I was never a baker - too much like chemistry lessons if you ask me. My forte is pastry and salads. (Obviously the pastry is now off the menu.)

Four Things I Do That My Mother Didn't Do:

1. Take photos. This was Dad's job and the camera was his. My mother only got her own camera when her first grandchild came along. I'm a rubbish photographer and I often forget, but if I don't take the photos, there aren't any so I have to.

2. Write and publish.

3. Speak two languages. My Hebrew is rubbish but I can use it for everything I need. Mum told me that she once went on a French exchange and stayed with a family for a week. By the end she says she was pretty good at French. She'd forgotten it all by the time we used to go on holidays in France.

4. Wear leggings and ankle boots as part of my 'uniform'. Mum never wears anything less than proper clothes as opposed to what she describes as going out in pyjamas.

Four Things We Both Do:

1. Go to bed extremely late. We are both night owls and not larks.

2. Play cards and Scrabble. She plays Bridge. I'm a Kalooki girl - up to 150 points and you can come in twice. We're also both up for a game of Rummikub, which is a sort of card game with tiles.

3. Watch Escape To The Country and read The Daily Mail.

4. Love the social side of religious life but make up our own rules about the ritual.

Reasons 2B Cheerful - When We Were Very Young

1964, Westcliff-On-Sea. I am the toddler. 

1
Autumn
It rained again this week. The weather turned from summer to definite autumn, even on sunny days. Finally, finally, at the beginning of November I can no longer wear sleeveless tops and sandals. This is a good thing. The hot weather slows you down. And it's lovely to sleep snuggled under the duvet.

2
No sugar
I've almost finished two weeks of no sugar. It's already made a difference. Update on Sunday.

3
The best year
I asked DD how's she's doing in her school lessons and she said it's much easier this year because she can read better. Then she added, "I think 3rd grade is going to be the best year so far."

4
The Half Blood Prince
We are 100 pages into the 6th Harry Potter and this is also the best so far. It's getting darker and more brutal. We're loving it. (Of course I've read all the books before but I don't remember the details of each book).

5
"Tell a child that someone is their cousin and they will love them forever." Sarah Kaber Pottebaum

My cousin Susie found this picture of us from about 1964. It was the day of the parade in Westcliff. Our Grandparents lived on Chalkwell Avenue and it was a hightlight of the year to visit them and watch the parade go right past their house. Susie's brother Philip is standing on the wall (see the full photo above). Happy Days.

I'm linking up with R2BC wich is back with Mummy from the Heart this month.

Reasons 2B Cheerful - Being Connected

The sukkahs (booths) are starting to appear for the festival of Sukkot

1 
October and we're still going back to school
I went back to the kibbutz school this week. I started teaching at this school last year for only two days a week. To say the school runs on the principle of organized chaos would be a fair summing up of how they begin the new year. As I'd not received any confirmation that they wanted me back this year, I didn't know how many hours they could give me and no timetables had been finalized, I signed up to teach a summer course at my college which meant I could only start in school at the beginning of October.

In the end they increased my hours at school by 50% and I'm now teaching there three days a week. I must have got used to the way they work because it was nice to be back. It makes a big difference when you walk into a school and you know the people there and they know you.

2
I am not a spy
I know my brother-in-law's family pretty well as we all grew up together. Even his cousins were in our youth movements. I know, however, that he has a set of first cousins who grew up in Israel and whom I don't know (although I was at a family bat mitzva party with them once but I don't think they came to my sister's wedding).

This week the son of one of my b-i-l's cousins turned up in my 6th grade class. You might say, 'small world,' but this is Israel. Things like that happen all the time. In fact there used to be a joke that if two Israelis meet and they've not found a mutual connection within five minutes, then one of them is a spy.

Some sukkahs under construction in my building

3
Good friends
Yesterday I went to collect DD from school at 11.45. Yes Friday school is from 8 am till 11.45. Don't ask, we suffer it. Anyway, her friends' mother brought an extra pair of roller-blades and asked if DD would like to stick around and try roller-blading. (The school grounds are open to the public when school's out so the basketball courts, playgrounds, and park area are always in use.) The alternative was coming to the supermarket with me so it was no-brainer.

By the time I got home they'd already gone back the friend's apartment for lunch and were playing there. Then they watched a Harry Potter film with the older brother. Apparently, the mother told me, DD was like a little professor telling the other children how they must read books and not just watch movies because you get so much more out of books. She's very aware of what the films miss out and she's worked out for herself that the films can't tell you exactly what the person is thinking wheres the books tell you.

I was told I didn't even need to come to collect her as the father had to take the dog out so he would walk her home. In the end her friend went too and they decided they wanted to play in the park while the dog got his exercise.

So DD arrived home at 7.30 pm, just in time for a shower, supper and one chapter of Harry Potter (we are on book five if you wanted to know). Actually we didn't even get to the end of the chapter as she fell asleep after a few pages. A perfect day.

4
And good family
We have been invited to go to Netanya by the sea for the beginning of the Sukkot festival next week. My nephew who is here on his gap year will be coming with us to my cousin's place. One thing I really miss by living here is spending the Jewish festivals with family. This year our satellite gathering will be almost as big as the mother ship in London.

I'm linking up with R2BC which is back on Lakes Single Mum this month.

Making Rosh Hashana Traditions

Candles are a given

Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new Year, is almost upon us - it's Sunday evening - Tuesday evening (basically two days that start and end at sundown). The first evening of R"H is a big family event. It's roughly equal to the Passover (Pesach) seder in terms of being with family and friends.

Today I wished one of the teachers at DD's school Shana Tova (A Good Year) and, knowing that I'm a single parent, she asked me, "what are you doing for the festival? Are you invited?" And a few years ago my father asked me what I was doing for one of the festivals to which I replied, "I'm celebrating with friends." He came back with, "oh good, your friends are looking after you then?" WTF? I take it I don't need to explain how I feel about these inferences?

A few years ago I was deeply moved by a single mother who wrote about always being invited to other families to celebrate the major Jewish holidays. She was writing about the Pesach seder but her thoughts apply to all the calendar events. Her conclusion was that just because they are a family without a man at its head, this doesn't mean that they're not a real family. And as such, they should have their own traditions. She made the seder at home that year so that her children would have childhood memories of their own family seder rather than remembering that they were always the guests at someone else's table.

I have similar thoughts about Rosh Hashana. Not the whole festival - there are four meals involved in a two-day festival. Personally I prefer to keep the celebrations down to one festive meal per day otherwise it just gets gluttonous.

It's lovely to be invited out and we are going to friends for the final lunch on Tuesday. We also have a brunch in our small synagogue on Monday. But what about the two evenings and especially the Sunday night which, to secular Jews, is the biggy? (To religious Jews they're both biggies). I want to stay at home and establish ourselves as a family with traditions. I want DD to have special memories of Rosh Hashana. I want us to have family traditions.

Part of this urge came from Chris Mosler at Thinly Spread who back in 2011 wrote about their special family Christmas Eve and the snuggle-sack tradition. Yesterday Chris told me that they still do it and her kids still love it. I've never forgotten that post and I've always wanted to do something similar. We don't do Christmas and most of our festivals have plenty of customs already. However, Rosh Hashana is a special time with not much going on other than synagogue and meals. Perfect for making up our own unique R"H style.

There is a tradition of a R"H seder which is a series of foods during the meal that symbolize things to do with the new year. For example, some people have a fish's head on the table for the head of the year. We dip apple in honey for a sweet year (we also drizzle honey on our challah and eat honey cake). We won't be having a fish head and we don't like honey but you get the picture. And we will have some symbollic food - I'll let you know when I've decided what.

I'm collecting my thoughts and ideas. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated in the comments. The theme is obviously the New Year and I'm not against a gift or two. Obviously I'll be back with a full report after the holiday.

Home - Reasons 2B Cheerful

Lemon Scented Geranium

1 Home
We came home after two weeks in London. As we came through the door DD announced: I'm starting to unpack now. I don't want it to be like last time we went away and the suitcases were sitting around for days waiting for the washing. Lets do it RIGHT NOW!

She got as far as finding her new Monster High dolls at the bottom of the first case and that was the end of unpacking. Two days later and DD's announcement has become a self-fulfilled prophecy. Oh well, it's the weekend.

2 Friends
It felt like the first day of school for DD all over again. However, after I'd seen her across the road she wouldn't let me come in but rather ran off with her friends. After school she went to the park with a friend to walk their dog and back to her friend's apartment afterwards. I didn't see her until 7pm.

3 Family
My nephew is in Jerusalem for his gap year, studying and volunteering. He's been here three weeks already but we left for London a few days after he arrived so we'd not seen him yet. Today he came round (with three weeks' worth of laundry) for lunch and so that DD could boss him around for a couple of hours. At last she has a cousin living nearby!

4 Life
A few weeks ago I wrote about my balcony and how I intend to plant it with cuttings rather than just buying plants from the nursery. My cousin from London visited a few weeks ago and brought me a cutting from a rampant houseplant [her words] of - um - I think she said it's called Lemon Scented Geranium.

Here's the root

Anyway, I put it in water and ten days later we left the country. I'd hoped to plant it before we left but there were no roots growing yet. On our return I was half expecting the water to have evapourated and the plant to be dead. But it wasn't and here is the root.

Tomorrow I shall be pottering about on my balcony. :~)

I'm linking to R2BC over at Mummy from the Heart.

D.I.Y. - My Father's Daughter?

At my father's funeral last January, the Rabbi spoke about his many years of service to the community. He said Dad was the local Bob the Builder. He recalled Dad arriving at the community centre several times a month with his tool box and a list of jobs to fix, build, or decorate.

At home we had a garage big enough for the family car but never vacant. Apart from our bicycles, the only things that went in and out of the garage were wood, paint, and tools (in) and homemade shelves, cupboards, and desks (out). There were thousands of little drawers filled with supplies of nails, screws, nuts, bolts, hinges, hooks, etc.... to rival any d.i.y. megastore. There were stashes of light bulbs, string, brown paper, selotape, glue, sisal, planks of wood, paint and varnish for any occasion.

There was a workbench at the back of the garage. Not your little Black & Decker toy but an enormous table that he'd built himself and attached all sorts of gadgets for holding tools and keeping planks of wood aligned and in place. Hooks, vices, pockets, and holders. When we moved house Dad attached wheels to the bottom of the workbench and pushed it the half mile to our new house along the roads.

Dad would have seen this and made his own.

Us three kids each had home-built wardrobes, bookcases and desks in our bedrooms. If I'm honest, I hated this furniture and craved exquisitely finished, dainty carpentry in my bedroom. In the living-room the wall cabinate made of three varnished wooden boxes, two with drop down doors and one with glass siding doors, were used for a bar and stationery/household papers. A big wooden bench-seat lined one side of the kitchen table, with a padded lid that opened for storage inside the box. Think of a large coffin with a blue vynal lid and you've got the picture.

Dad also did his own car maintenance in ways that aren't possible today now that engines are computerised. Dad had jacks, jump-start cables, oil cans, dip sticks and even a little trolley that allowed him to lie in his back and roll under the elevated car. Whereas my friends might buy their father a bottle of aftershave for his birthday, mine would have been delighted with jar of Swarfega.

Behind the garage was a garden shed that he built himself, obviously. This was filled with gardening equipment. Dad wasn't much of a gardener but there's no such thing as too much equipment. We had a hovver mower, a strimmer, a fork, a shoval, two rakes (one for soil and one for grass), a hoe, a selection of trowels and spades, a wheelbarrow, a hose, a composter, and an incinerator.

All the camping and caravaning equipment was also stored in the shed. Tents, the caravan awning, pumps, deckchairs, tables and deck loungers, jerry cans, Elsan Blue for the porta-loo, calor gas cylinders, special mirrors for driving with a caravan, special headlamp filters for driving on The Continent (as we called Europe in those days), groundsheets, mosquito repelling candles, torches and bungee chords with hooks on either end. Hands up those who didn't believe me when I said I was an experienced camper?

File photo - not Dad

Dad had all the kits too. Overalls for doing the car, a thick plastic apron, gardening gloves and wellies for gardening, safety goggles for welding and sawing, earplugs for when he used the electric drill, a tool belt, and plastic ponchoes for pitching tents in torrential rain.

It was the early 1970s, years before B&Q and Texas Homecare became the weekend Meccas for d.i.y. enthusiasts. Dad was ahead of the times by decades. His favourite treat was to drive over to the local Danny Shop (or was it Dani or any other spelling?) for a browse and usually a buy. Today Engelbert Strauss would cover all the bases.

In many ways I am my father's daughter. I have his face, I have his sense of humour, his sense of justice and community spirit. I am a joiner (as in I join groups and committees, I don't do carpentry) and I volunteer. On the other hand, when the lightbulb went in my bathroom I waited for almost three weeks because I knew my nephew was coming to stay. As he walked in the door and after flying across Europe to visit us, I greeted him with the new bulb in my hand for him to fix the light.

Collaborative post

My Birthday, Stupid Friday, And Hitler Ganuff

*Ganuff is Yiddish for thief.

My birthday fell last week on Stupid Friday. I call it Stupid Friday because I have to drag DD out of bed and get her to school by 8 am when school finishes at 11:45 am. On Tuesdays they finish at 1 pm and the rest of the week at 2:20 pm. There is plenty of time during the week to tag those less than four hours onto other days and give us all a break on Fridays. Six days a week at school with only one day off a week is too much. Even the teachers only work a five day week. Rant over.

The previous Sunday I'd got a whatsapp from my friend Sarit. "What are you two doing on Friday night?" "Nothing planned yet. Want to do dinner together? Your place or mine? Share the cooking?" "So you're coming here for a birthday dinner." "OMG I'd completely forgotten it was my birthday this week!"

In truth, I'd probably blocked it out after what happened last year.

So on the Stupid Friday of my birthday I'd taken DD to school and returned home to try and get some work done at least. It takes time to get organised as I have to put on a load of laundry, do the dishes in the sink, check my emails, twitter, facebook, blog and reply to anything that needs replying to. I skim over The Times of Israel Online to check out the security situation in Israel and The Middle East. I skim over The DM Onlime to check out who's been sent home from school for wearing the wrong shoes. I make myself a coffee to sip whilst working and by that time the washing machine has finished so I have to empty it and hang up the wet clothes.

I'd just got to the bit where I open the college website when "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!" Skype calling. It was my mother presumably to wish me Happy Birthday. I answered the call only to see her clicking away with her mouse and keyboard and muttering about the sound not working. I hung up. "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!" I answered. More watching my mother trying to sort out her computer. I hung up. We repeated this another three times before I changed my Skype status to 'Do not disturb'.

So she sent me an email. Bad news I'm afraid. Howard died suddenly and unexpectedly in hospital on Wednesday. I was shocked. My father has 17 first cousins on his dad's side (my grandfather was one of nine siblings). The oldest of the 19 cousins was my late Aunty Rene but my dad, who was born 12 years after his sister, I always considered to be one of the younger cousins and Howard was about seven years younger than my dad.

I never met some of the cousins but I've known Howard all my life. He lived in our neighbourhood, his children went to our primary school with us, he sat next to my dad in synagogue (when they both went), he was my dad's accountant and my first financial advisor when I started playing on the stock market as an economics A'level student (we're talking penny shares here not high finance). Our families weren't close. A few years ago I was visiting London and out with a friend. She said to me, "You don't know your cousin S (Howard's daughter) very well do you?" "No, not now," I replied, "I probably wouldn't recognise her if I passed her in the street." My friend said, "you definitely wouldn't recognise her, she just walked past on the other side of the road." We had all grown up and moved away but Howard was Uncle Howard and he was family.

My dad lived with Howard and his older brother Arnold's family during the war so that he could continue going to school while his nervous mother and sister evacuated to Taunton for the duration. Their mother, my late great aunt, Aunty Lily, told the story of when Arnold's school were eventually evacuated and Howard, although much younger, was allowed to go too as he was with his big brother.

All the children were on the bus and all the mothers were crying as they waited to wave them off. They were told that the children would send their new addresses as soon as they'd been billetted with foster families. (I can't believe they didn't know at least which county or small town they were heading for but it never occured to me to ask.) Suddenly Howard poked his head out of the window and shouted, "we don't know where we're going Mum, but it's all cos of Hitler Ganuff!" And everyone laughed.

I got a fb message from my sister: Happy Birthday. Hope you're having a nice day.
Me: I just heard about Howard. Feeling very sad.
Miriam: Me too.

I no longer felt like doing any work and so I did what I always do when life gives you a jolt. I hit the bread bin. Three rounds of cheese and pickle sandwiches and a bag of crisps later I spent the rest of the morning playing Farm Heroes.

Dinner was lovely, thank you Sarit xxx.

Facebook delivered as only facebook can (after someone gave me the heads up that my privacy settings meant no one could write on my timeline and I quickly changed it).

The weekend was topped off with a long catch up on the phone with my friend Nicola from LA. Nicola and I were best friends in primary school when we were six and continued to secondary school together until her family moved to LA when we were 14. Nicola told me that she checks to see if I've posted on the blog every day when she takes her coffee break at work. No pressure there then. :~).

A different birthday from last year with some lovely bits, but not best I've had.

Two Photos 79 Years Apart

At the end of the first day at school DD's teacher sent an email with some photos of the children. This one has DD sitting at the front, bottom left.

Maybe it's the angle of her head, maybe it's the pose or the family resemblance, but it immediately reminded me of this photo of my Dad's first year in school in the East End of London, 1935 (possibly 1936).

Dad's in the second row of desks on the right (front right of photo). Can you see it or is it just me?

*I've linked this post to The Gallery at Sticky Fingers. Pop over to see more 'School' themed posts with photos.

  

Cousins, Horses, And Adventure

It's hard to get back into the schwung of routine after a holiday. Without writing a blow by blow account of three weeks in the cool, greenery of England, here are three highlights of our trip...

1. Cousins: My friend Sarah said, if you tell a child that someone is their cousin they will love them forever. True. Thanks for all the babysitting and attention guys - you're the BEST!

2. Horse riding: It was a real treat. DD loved it. 

Sitting on Merlyn with the lovely Olivia at Aldenham Country Park

I just love the background scenery in this one

3. The adventure playground: She went all the way round the course tackling each challenge until she'd completed it. I didn't know she was so adventurous.

And now it's back to grading papers and preparing for exam season. Ho hum. 

A Weekend In Eilat

I still get a kick out of the fact that we can get on a bus and drive down to Eilat for the weekend. The bus journey takes four hours but it's not too boring despite being largely desert landscape. We passed the Dead Sea

And Massada.

And once in Eilat we found a little bit of paradise waiting for us.

Best of all we found our cousins (my sister's family) by the pool.

Swimming with Aunty and Uncle

Dolphin sticker-mosaics with my cousin

The lobby had ice-cream and slushy drinks and we loved watching the boats in the marina.

Chilling is good. My moment was a relaxing coffee on the balcony overlooking the marina while DD went down to the pool with her cousins.

Can't beat chilling with a coffee and a view

Just chilling out on the beach

Three days in paradise with sun, sea, sand, pool and family (and quite a lot of good food not cooked by us). Just perfect.