Bat Mitzvah Perfect - R2BC

The Judean Hills
View from the Bat Mitzvah girl's garden.

Reasons 2B Cheerful are indeed 3 this week. The linky is with Becky on Lakes Single Mum as always. And here they are.

1
Bat Mitzvah Party
We went to a Bat Mitzvah party on Friday. It was a perfect gathering of a few families in the garden, a bagel brunch, dessert, some singing, some praying, some performances in honour of the Bat Mitzvah girl. Then the adults went home and left the Bat Mitzvah girl's friends for a sleepover.

They have a small pool in the garden and they put up tents for the girls to sleep in. I had a small glass of wine on my balcony at home and slept in my bed. And DD was delivered  home today. It was the perfect Bat Mitzvah celebration imo.

We talked about how corona has caused many events to be scaled down and it's sad when it means that family from far away can't be there. On the other hand, a more modest celebration can be extra special and meaningful in its intimacy and hygge.

2
Semester End
I have one more week of school and two more weeks of college until this semester is over, including grading the exams. During that time I still have to set up my summer online course ready to start on July 15th, but that's a new beginning. I love the ending. When every pupil's report card is written, most students have their final grade (because there are always some with extensions), I can almost close that door on a job done and relax.

3
Abundance
Tomorrow morning I'm starting a meditation programme facilitated by a friend on facebook, and based on 21 Days of Abundance by Deepak Chopra. You can find it on You Tube and do it yourself but I'm looking forward to the guidance, commitment, and energy gained by being part of a group.

I've done a programme like this but different, before, #Breakthrough with Devorah Sisso. That time, although motivated, I came up against a brick wall in lesson 5 out of 6, when I had to write my aspirations for the future. You could ask the universe for anything you could imagine. And I was paralysed by the chasm between what I would love and what I saw as realistic.

I read The Secret. I watched the movie. I read another book about letting grace into your life. I did a course run by a fellow blogger called LifeCircle. We have a roof over our heads, we have food to eat, we have our health, and we have friends, so maybe they all worked. Otoh, I didn't get my yacht in Monaco or my Chateau in Provence so maybe I didn't do it right?

Anyway, I'm ready for another bash at being one of the world's amazing women so I'm giving it a go. Obviously I'll let you know how it turns out. I may be writing from my poolside suite at an exclusive spa or I may be writing from this dining table still piled high with stuff waiting to be put away. Or something in between.

Have a great week.

New Year, New Decade, New You?

I missed the New Year goals, resolutions, new start stuff this year. This is particularly upsetting as 2020 is a totally satisfying round number and it's also the start of a new decade.

My mother was visiting and we had to have proper meals and food that she likes (toast) for smaller meals, and a biscuit to have with coffee, etc... We also went out to eat at friends and I forgot about the no sugar rule when delicious carrot cake and vanilla ice-cream appeared for dessert at Sally-Ann's house. Then my nephew came so it had to be cheesy pasta for dinner. My mother isn't going to walk up and down mountains so we got taxis at times I would have walked. And of course we had to watch at least four episodes of The Crown every evening (because my mother doesn't have Netflix) so that put paid to anything productive.

The house guests left and we hosted lunch guests, one of whom was visiting from Switzerland. The beautifully wrapped gift gave no indication that it was full of exquisite chocolates so I didn't think to unwrap it and put them out for everyone to share. They're gone now though. 😋

It's lovely to have guests, but it does interfere with one's plans for a frugal, puritan, exemplary lifestyle. And when they left, it was too late. What's 06/01/2020? Nothing special, is the answer.

If I waited until the next significant date: 1st of February, or even 02/02/2020, I'll have put back all the weight I lost last summer and be feeling dumpy and depressed as well as lazy and unproductive. The new Hebrew month of Shvat doesn't even start until Monday week. What's an obsessive about numbers girl to do?

So despite the absence of a starting date, I can still plan. I read an article, I think it was in Psychologies Magazine, that said it takes a decade to really transform one's life. I like that because there's no urgency to start. Hahaha, did you spot my problem there? I actually think there's a lot of sense in this as long as we are blessed to still be around in 10 years time. Fatalistic? Moi?

On a more immediate scale, I just watched a video by ModernHealthMonk (I don't think that's his real name) called: How to Design Your Life. He suggests you sit down and write one thing... what would be the coolest thing to happen this year? It's a gem of a way to pinpoint what you really want. As he says, "there's no point getting to the top of the ladder of success only to find you climbed the wrong ladder." He suggests that you do this three times. I agree, no one likes a single-minded zealot and three goals are manageable.

Then for each goal, you write three daily or weekly habits that will bring you closer to realising the goal. Keep a record. Nine things a day to tick off on a 3x3 grid or however you choose to plot your progress.

I'm so doing this. It's 18.00 on 18/01/2020 and that's good enough.

The Universe On Trial

The Spooky Old Tree at the Israel Museum
(Spooky is the connecting theme here.)

Years ago I read The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. For those who don't know, it's a self-help book teaching the law of attraction. In other words, if you will it, it will come to you. You're supposed to ask the universe (or God, or any higher power) for what you want. Visualize it. Meditate about it. Speak of it in the present tense as if you already have it (e.g. I'm so happy I can wear these size 8 jeans, I just love them!).

The book freaked me out. It was the visualizing that scared me. What happens if you accidently think of something tragic that you absolutely don't want to happen? Bad thoughts pop into your head sometimes, you can't help it. Does that mean I've just placed an order for this with the universe? I gave the book away and tried not to think about it.

Then I started watching Ted Talks on You Tube. Many motivational speakers truly believed in this law of attraction. So when The Secret appeared as a documentary on Netflix, I watched it. They did actually address the question of what happens when you accidently have bad thoughts. The answer was that good thoughts have far more power than bad thoughts. Well that's convenient.

After watching the film I decided to give it another go. DD wanted to do a drama summer school in English where the participants write a play, make all the costumes, scenery and props themselves, and then perform the play. We've been going to see the end production for a few years now and this year DD was ready to join. So I called to register in May and, would you believe it, it was already full!

We were disappointed but agreed to go on the waiting list. I was told that the waiting list is never utilized as no one ever cancels and if they do we are only third in line. But hey! I knew The Secret. I wasn't taking that for an answer Mr. Universe! (Not that Mr. Universe, another Mr. Universe.) Prove yourself! I dare you.

I visualized DD going to that Summer Camp. I meditated on it. I prayed. I accepted it as fait accompli. Meanwhile DD's school opened up a summer programme for the same three weeks at a third of the price. So we signed up for it.

And then the universe delivered. Lo and behold, a place did come up at the English drama summer school. But a group of friends from DD's class were already signed up for the school programme and I'd already got excited about saving all that money. We declined the offer but I told them that we absolutely want to be first on the list for next year. (It's for 10 - 14 year olds.)

A week into the summer and DD is hating the programme in school. She says it's boring and she wants to quit. I've persuaded her to stick it out for the first week. I hope it gets better today or I'll have no chance of making her continue next week.

The verdict: The Secret works but I don't. The universe delivered and I messed up.

Slimming Sunday - Vegans Vs Ketos

Vegetable Shakuka with eggs and cheese

My blogging friend Michelle from Mummy from the Heart, has been running a Linky called Slimming Sunday for about four months. I thought - great! I'll join that as soon as I have something significant to share. Sadly I'm still waiting. And I promised my real life friend Janet that I would stop writing about weight loss and just do it. Sorry Janet.

Added to that, this is not the post I should be writing today. The last few weeks of school were hectic with all the wrapping up activities, parties, reports, etc... I have about 10 posts backed up in my head and if I don't write about them soon they will become too historical for interest.

However and despite all of the above, here I am. Also because every so often I get asked on facebook how it's going. It wasn't going until yesterday. I was still at the stage of doing loads of research and not having the time to clear my mind and get it into the right place for this project. Every time I did make a good start, a party or a festival or a holiday or an invitation to dinner would open the flood gates and wash me back to the beginning. It was very frustrating.

About the research. There seem to be two camps with opposing views. On the one hand there are the vegans who advocate high carb (all whole grain and organic of course) and low fat but absolutely no animal products. I sympathize with this camp as I think veganism is the ethically correct way to go and it's certainly cheaper and more convenient to stock up on pasta, rice, couscous, oats, beans, etc... But the science doesn't add up. Carbs are just pre-glucose with little nutritional value. They keep you burning the glucose instead of burning your own body fat. They feed cancer cells, provoke insulin production until you have insulin overload and end up with a fatty liver, heart disease, and possibly Alzheimers. Go directly to type 2 diabetes, do not pass Go, do not collect a healthy old age (or even a healthy middle age).

On the other hand, you can find many testimonials that swear they have reached health Nirvana through high carb, low fat, veganism. I think some of them are too far in to back out gracefully having based their whole reputation on this theory. You'll have to do the reading/listening yourself and make up your own mind but it doesn't make sense to me. There is also some dodgy research behind it. For example Ancel Keys who showed that a high fat diet in 7 countries lead to heart disease. He conveniently left out the other 15 countries which he studied and that did not show this correlation. As a result a whole generation (us) have been brought up to fear fat and strive for a low fat diet while obesity has become epidemic. Something must be wrong.

The other camp is a combination of a ketogenic diet (to whatever degree you choose to follow it) and intermittent fasting. Just for the record, the keto diet is very low carb, moderate protein (so it's not Atkins) and loads of vegetables. To be fair, the vegans also advise loads of vegetables so that's the one thing we can all agree on.

Intermittent fasting is as little as no eating between meals to water fasts lasting several days. The most popular choices seem to be the 16 hours fasting/8 hours eating window per day or the 5 days eating:2 days very reduced calories. When I first brought this up a facebook friend commented - I bet your doctor didn't recommend fasting. I'd not spoken to my doctor about it specifically but when I did she actually said I should try to extend the fasting to 17 or even 19 hours a day.

Keto eating is not hard. Who doesn't like meat, fish, eggs, cheese, vegetables, and salad? The hard thing for me is giving up potatoes in any way, shape or form; and giving up the convenience of a sandwich as a meal on the go. And we choose not to have meat at home so that makes it even more difficult.

But I've never been a breakfast eater and I've always known that for me it's best not to eat at all than to try to eat moderately. So yesterday on July 1st, with 2 months of summer holidays ahead of us (although I am teaching a summer course but this is way less pressure than a full schedule), no festivals until mid-September, feeling relaxed and motivated, I ate between 2.30 pm (vegetable shakshuka with three eggs and covered in grated cheese and a small salad) and 5.30 pm (having finished a large salad bowl with tahina dressing).

The Slimming Sunday Linky is once a month so I'll report back about my progress on the first Sunday in August.

On Being A Teacher - Reasons 2B Cheerful

I did a lot of learning about self-development this year. Remember the Breakthrough posts I wrote about the course with Devorah Sisso Stieglitz? I still owe you (me?) a post for Breakthrough #6. I got stuck on visualizing a fabulous future for myself - my goals seemed to stop at getting through the week, cleaning the bathroom, and paying the bills. I'm going to work on it again over the holidays. Watch this space.

Meantime, In the interests of gratitude and the laws of attraction - both essential to leading your best life possible, here are my reasons 2B cheerful for this week. The linky is back with Michelle on Mummy from the Heat where a group of us gather to be thankful. It sounds soppy but actually it's vitalizing.

1
It ends
I was having a moan to a friend last week about how much there is to do at the end of the school and college year. I was writing reports, setting exams, grading exams, end of year parties (mine and DD's), I was given the task of organizing part of the end of year family outing for my school, prepping the summer course, packing up the English room as they need it over the holidays for something else, etc, etc, etc....

My friend sat there patiently while I got it all off my chest and then replied, "yes but in three weeks time it all comes to an end and you have two months off." I got it. I shut up.

2
Poor but safe
The foundation that pays part of my salary for one of my jobs only pays for 8 out of the 10 months of the school year. So at the end I am paid by the organization that pays the other half of my salary at that particular job. It comes out as much less at the end of the month as they each have different ways of calculating the pay. And, for this particular job, I get almost nothing over the summer. It's annoying but, otoh, I don't work there over the summer. Otoh, teachers still have to live and pay bills for that two-month period.

Last week a friend who had a high-flying position in hi-tech suddenly lost her job when the company reorganized and scrapped her whole department. I went to work that day and thanked God for every irritating thing about my school and for every difficult pupil. I am so lucky to have a job that helps me almost get to the end of the month in the black.

3
Finishing early
For the final two weeks of the year, the 6th graders who are leaving this year and are busy with their leaving events, get let out of school at 1 pm. So that's a 1 pm finish for me two out of three of my days at school, for the duration.

Patient friend who is regularly in her office till after 6 pm: "What time do you usually finish then?"
Me: 3 pm.
Friend: Oh.
Me. Oh.

4
July/August
I do teach a summer course over the summer but it's mostly online so I can do it at home. Thus, unlike most other parents, I will not be paying a fortune for summer camps and juggling child care with work obligations. If I were to get my full salary over the summer in return for working, it would all go in paying for summer programmes for DD. So in fact, being a teacher is the best thing to be.

5
Teaching
I actually enjoy teaching. I like being with my pupils and my students. Staff rooms are usually friendly and supportive places. I have fun. There I've said it.

  

Time Blocking

Setting the Scene and Defining the Problem
One of those days or weeks or months when there is too much 'stuff' thrown at you all at once? Teachers especially experience this as it comes to the end of the school year. And if you are a teacher and a mother of several children, it's hopeless.

Maybe in the UK you still have a few weeks to go before it hits you, if your school year only finishes three weeks into July? And if you are reading this in America, I know that some schools have already broken up for the summer (but they go back at the beginning of August). In Israel school finishes on June 20th (high schools) and June 30th (primary schools).

This is what the end of the year involves here: writing reports for each student, end of year tests to be given and graded, end of year parties for every class in every course, attending end of year parties for every activity each of your children attends, the start of swimming lessons, the festival of Shavuot (Pentecost) which includes assemblies and ceremonies at each of your children's schools, unbearably hot weather, and battling a general feeling of, "we're done," from students and teachers and, in the case of getting homework done, parents as well.

I have some of the above but not all. I have only one child whereas some of my colleagues have 4+ children. On the other hand, as a single parent, all the end of year activities for DD are down to me. As a subject teacher rather than a class teacher, I have many more than the standard 30 pupils to write reports for. On the other hand, I only have to write about one subject (English) and not a whole load of subjects and behaviour comments. On the other hand I have to write my reports in Hebrew which is hard for me. I can compose what I want to say without problem and even write it down but typing it onto the computer is so frustrating when you don't know how to spell and you don't know where all the letters are. And I teach summer courses which have to be prepared. Long story short, it's swings and roundabouts and I'm drowning.

On top of all the end of year obligations, you have to keep up with the housework and household responsibilities. I would like to just forget about it all until July 1st but I can't. Firstly, we live in the desert and if you don't dust and mop the floors the desert starts to encroach on your living room. Secondly, if you don't keep paying those bills, answering those emails, filing your papers, and generally tidying up, things start to get lost. Important things like medical prescriptions, professional references that you need when applying for extra teaching hours for next year, bills that go unpaid until you start getting threatening letters and have to pay interest, those end of year tests that you are supposed to grade and return to the students, etc...

So, as you can't stop the world and retreat under the duvet, you need a way to get things done rather than just pushing everything aside. And you need a definite system because wading through, picking up bits and pieces of tasks as you fall over them, or as they become critically urgent, is the least efficient way to go about it and a sure way to lose your sanity. We're aiming to cross things off the To Do list, not chip away at 100 things at once and never finish any of it. No siree.

Time Blocking.
This is the art of dedicating chunks of time to a specific task whilst forgetting all about any other tasks. You need a calendar with the hours marked in. Then you just block off a specific amount of time for the job that is most urgent. But if you also need to do other urgent tasks (or urgent to you because e.g. you simply cannot live with that pile of junk on the dining-room table one more day as it's making you depressed) then give each of those a half hour or an hour. I'm telling you it works. The only rule is that you must absolutely not break into your blocked time to do another unscheduled job. Turn off your phone if you have to, whatever it takes. Here are two scenarios to illustrate the point:

1. No Blocking Time. 
It's 4.30 pm and you are faced with an overwhelming amount of things that need seeing to. You decide to start with grading but get distracted by emails asking you to return you report card comments by yesterday. Meanwhile your child is whining that she's hungry and supper needs cooking (because you are no longer buying processed food and because of this you've already ordered pizza twice this week). So you stop to cook supper and you first have to wash up a saucepan to cook it in. Then you have to clear the table a bit or she's got nowhere to eat. And as you're piling up the papers on the table because there's no time to deal with them or file them properly, you notice a utility bill that needs paying by NOW or you will get cut off. You also find some supermarket coupons that you meant to use and the final date on them is today. So you abandon supper and run out to the supermarket. By the time you get back you're too tired to do any more grading, or report card writing, or tidying the dining-room table. So you order burgers, for a change, waste a couple of hours on facebook and twitter, and get into your unmade bed after setting the alarm for 5 am with the promise of an early start tomorrow. Tomorrow does starts early but the first two hours of it consists of hitting the snooze button 12 times.

2. Blocking Time.
It's 4.30 pm and you are faced with a productive, well planned evening. First you have 4.30 - 5.30 blocked off for clearing the kitchen, cooking supper, clearing the clutter in the living-room (it's ok to plan just to  make relevant piles for filing later in order to uncover urgent papers), paying any outstanding bills by phone, and making a pile of papers that you will need over the next few days. There are philosophies that say you should only handle each piece of paper once but we're way beyond that - this is crisis control not Super Woman.

5.30 - 6.30 pm Feed your children, deal with anything they need you for and if they are old enough (we managed this at age five) tell them that you are busy for the rest of the evening and that they should clean their teeth, amuse themselves for a while and then put themselves to bed. Sorry, no story tonight. You clean up the kitchen.

6.30 - 8 pm. Do that grading (or any prep for your own particular job). Do not look at emails. Do not attend to children (there are apples in the fridge if you're hungry, yes you can go on the computer, whatever you want, just get on with it yourself).

8 - 8.30 pm. Make the children go to bed by shutting down all tech devices. Clean the bathroom and put on a load of laundry. Make yourself a cup of coffee or any beverage of your choice.

8.30 - 9 pm. Deal with emails and whatsapp whilst drinking your coffee. Do not be tempted to go into social media.

9 - 10.30 pm. Write reports (or a blog post, or do your household accounts - you choose). Do not be tempted to go back and do more grading. This is Report Card Time. Just do it.

10.30 pm. Hang out the laundry and go to bed - you may read in bed till 11 pm.

You have a clean kitchen and bathroom, you have done 1 1/2 hours of grading and 1 1/2 hours of reports (or blogging or whatever), you have paid outstanding bills and put aside important papers that were previously lost, the table is organised if not exactly cleared, and you have done a load of laundry. And you are asleep with a clear conscience before midnight. That is freaking amazing!

Social Media: The Extraordinary And The Ordinary - R2BC

Can't get more ordinary than my old fridge

1
Magic Radio
Whilst in London, cooking with my sister for Pesach, we listened to the most amazing radio. Song after song was a fabulous track from my life. Every one a winner. I thought it might be a golden oldies programme on Radio 2. I do listen to Radio 2 on a Sunday if I'm working at home. However, I was told that it's Magic Radio. A whole radio station dedicated to the music I would have chosen myself. Better in fact, as I've forgotten about much of the music I would love to listen to. Anyway, I found it online and I've been listening to it ever since.

2
Knorpp and South
Many months ago I started watching this You Tube channel about a wonderful family with nine kids, who sold everything, bought an RV, and have been travelling around America for the past year.

As a mother who can lose her cool and get overwhelmed with one kid who is in full time school, in a home that doesn't move, and surrounded by friends in the community.... I am in awe of how this family functions.

This week they sold the RV and are upping the ante by moving their travels to Europe. I'm psyched. We've all been invited to 'go' with them. When I say all of us I mean me and their other 94,724 subscribers (plus lurkers who watch but don't subscribe). I think our plan is to rent places to live for a month at a time whilst exploring the surrounding area, rather than RVing or camping.

I've already done some more decluttering here so I won't feel like a burden to them. Seriously though, one thing I've noticed about travelling families is that they don't go from everything to one carry-on bag overnight. Often there are a series of downsizing steps which makes the process less painful than you would think. Watching this family over the past year has made me wonder if we could do something similar... maybe.... one day.

3
Facebook Hilarity
For Independence Day there were a number of posts on facebook involving lists of 69 things. (It's 69 years since independence, obviously.) 69 wonderful things about Israel, 69 things you didn't know, 69 inventions and innovations, etc....

There were two lists of 69 extraordinary women of Israel. This prompted my extraordinary friend, Sarah, to post this:

"I've seen two separate lists so far of 69 fabulous women in Israel. 
Next year, for Israel's 70th birthday, I'm compiling a list of 70 totally nondescript, average women who've done fuck all with their lives like me.  If you'd like to be included in my list, drop me a note detailing your subpar average achievements."

What followed was a hilarious thread lasting several hours, where we fell over ourselves trying to prove how worthy we are of being a total waste of space. Some examples:

Me: I'm now liking my own comments, how sad is that?

Gillian: Where is your lovely daughter?
Me: Oh she's watching You Tube and eating crisps for supper.

Lisa: Oh please can I be on this list? (Notice she is begging.) I'll make you a cake. (And resorting to bribery, thereby guaranteeing a place on the list.)
Me: Lisa, some of us can't bake.

But the highlight of the evening was when Tzipporah wrote: I can peel an orange in one go. Several of us read this as: I can pee in an orange in one go. All over Israel a number of sad women were thinking along the lines of:  Is that a camping game? Do you scoop out the flesh first? Why would you want to?

I still keep bursting into laughter when I think about it. Thanks Sarah, for the best evening's entertainment in a long time.

4
"In this world, somehow an ordinary life has become synonymous with a meaningless life."

At the end of  Sarah's thread someone embedded a TEDx talk by Brene Brown. I've linked to it so you can watch it. Turns out, it's the ordinary that is important and being extraordinary won't shield you from all the things you are scared might happen if you aren't striving for perfection.

I'm linking up with Michelle on Mummy from The Heart for the Reasons 2B Cheerful Linky this week.

Limiting And Empowering Beliefs - #Breakthrough 5

This was last week's Breakthrough session but I got a bit bogged down with it (and then it was Purim).

I'll explain. The session was about the ways in which we limit ourselves and thereby limit our lives. We are so sure of what we can't do and what can't possibly be, that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. When I tried to do the homework an interesting thing happened.

The homework was in two parts. Part one was to write down all my strengths, capabilities, and all my successes. No problem. I know what I'm capable of but success in this big wide world mostly depends on other people playing along - that's where the doubts set in. I mean, I know I can write that great novel but someone has to agree to publish it right? I know I can teach another couple of courses at my college but they need to give me the hours. I know I could write great publicity posts for Filofax and Eilat hotels but they need to agree to collaborate with me.

OK, enough of that because the limitation comes when you don't knock on the doors, send the emails, do the diet, write the book, in the first place. If you are ready with the best product at the right time and you send enough emails, you'll eventually nail it. If you worry about if its worth starting you'll never have anything to sell.

Part two was to write a detailed description of the life you want to be living. I cannot tell you how hard this was. Every time I thought of something that I'd like I damped it down to be realistic in my limited way. For example, I kept writing about earning enough money to live comfortably in the way we live now. I can write anything I want so why write that I want to go on a real holiday once a year when I could write that we can go anywhere we want whenever we want - we're that rich. Why write about minor improvements to my apartment, a new sofa and new windows? Why not write that we buy a fantastic new place to live with a proper garden or a bigger balcony?

Some of it is the Maeve Binchy Syndrome. I love Maeve Binchy. Simple feel-good books in which someone has a good idea for a business. They work hard, all the neighbours come together to help babysit and offer their relevant skills for free, and a few pages later they're successful, rich, and famous. This is also known as 'suspended disbelief' or the 'pinch of salt effect'. But could there be something in it?

I think it was Marisa Peer (not Miri Sapir as Israelis often mishear- a normal Israeli name) who said that if you ask for enough money to get by you'll get just that - enough money to get by. In other words you get what you ask for. Or rather you get what you aim for.

So why why why is it so hard not be so darn 'realistic'?

I'm still working on writing the life I want to be living. It's not all about money. It's also about health, happiness, and balance, I enjoy having time to potter. Pottering doesn't make money. But I'd prefer to have the time to potter than to be earning a fantastic amount of money and have no time in which to enjoy it.

One particular thing that Devorah said in this week's podcast that resonated with me is: Imagine if you had a an enormous amount of money in the bank or from passive income, so that you didn't have to go to work. Your children are grown up and you have no commitments on your time. What would do with your life? The thing you come up with when all obstacles are wiped out of the picture, is probably your life's calling.

Marching On With #Breakthrough 4

This week has been busy. I, who never go out in the evening, have two events this week. One I wrote about yesterday and one is tomorrow evening. Tomorrow will be a very late night out of town so my friend is coming for a sleep over with her 6 yo son. He and DD are great friends so they'll have fun. We've done this before when my friend has gone out for the evening but this time she'll be hanging out at my place while I go out.

Of course this means that I was supposed to clean the apartment today. She told me not to but I have my pride. However, I got home from school at 2 pm (today is my early day when I leave at 1 pm) and found some absolutely pressing things that needed seeing to on the computer. No, not watching you tube - sending in my payable hours for February, doing some light editing and translating that I'd promised a friend, answering some emails from college, etc...

Before I knew it, it was time to collect DD from school. Then I had to make supper because 1. my nephew was coming for supper and 2. I've made a new month resolution as part of the whole Breakthrough process that we sit down and eat a healthy supper at around 6 pm rather than remembering that I've not fed DD at 7.30 and she's been filling up on crisps and baby-belle cheeses from the fridge. (In fact I'm no longer buying crisps.)

That took us to 7 pm when nephew left and DD remembered a big chunk of Hebrew homework that's due tomorrow. That took almost an hour. Then it had to be hair-wash night because I'm going out tomorrow and we have our friends here. So now she's finishing off in the shower and I'm blogging.

I had to blog today. I'm still trying to claw my way back into the top 1,000 of the TOTS100 and this month my rank has risen by 139! I'm still 214 away from 999 but it made me happy. Another Breakthrough promise is to blog more consistently this year - I'm aiming for at least 10 posts a month. I only managed 9 in February. Well it's a short month isn't it?

I also have to wash my hair because I'm leaving home an hour after returning from work tomorrow. The dishes from supper are still in the sink and that's another resolution - they will not be left until tomorrow morning. And of course, I have to be in bed by 11 because sleep is essential for achieving everything else.

I don't know how this happened that I didn't get to do any cleaning tonight - although I will fold and put away the laundry on the spare bed and tidy up a bit. One good thing is that I'll definitely do that early morning thing tomorrow as I absolutely must do some cleaning before school. I can't call it a Miracle Morning as I won't be doing any meditating, visualizing or reading self-development material but it will be a miracle if I do it,

This week's Breakthrough session was about not being a child and expecting everything to fall in your lap without any effort on your part. It was a, "Just Do It!" message. Nothing new, but reinforcing the fact that we're more than half-way through the course and I'm still planning and writing but not doing very much yet. March 1st was a great opportunity to turn over a new leaf.

So I didn't clean my apartment but I taught all morning in school, I did some admin, I cooked us a healthy supper which we ate without resorting to snacks either before or after, DD's homework got done, she's hair-washed and ready for bed - I know it's 9 pm but that's par for us. (I'm trying to make her bedtime earlier but it rarely happens). We're going to read one chapter of Heidi now. Then I'm going to wash my hair, do the dishes and tidy up some. I'm satisfied with today.

Reading Around The Subject - #Breakthrough 3

When my parents downsized from the family house into a flat they found all our old school reports carefully filed in chronological order. We were each presented with a file on our next visit. I read mine once through and promptly destroyed the evidence.

One thing I remember from my sixth-form reports, the ones from when I was supposed to be studying for A' levels, is the comment - Rachel does not read round the subject, or, Rachel needs to read around the subject. The truth was that I was having trouble keeping up with the prescribed homework let alone giving myself more. Obviously I wasn't passionate about my subjects and of course there was no You Tube. (You Tube is the new reading doncha know.) This time I can tick both those boxes for my Breakthrough makeover.

Breakthrough Session 3 was about Making It Happen - getting off your backside and actually doing whatever it takes to get you to whoever it is you want to be. (Notice I said 'whoever' and not 'wherever' - see last week.) So first I did some procrastinating 'reading' around the subject.

I looked on You Tube for 'attracting the life you want' and similar phrases. There was a lot of Oprah on this subject. I'd read The Secret years ago but it scared the life out of me. I missed the bit about 'doing' and thought it was only about 'visualizing'. I got scared that if a tragic or negative picture popped into my mind then the Universe might make it happen. I totally missed the point. As the guy on Oprah said, "you can sit and visualize until they come and take your furniture away and repossess your house. Then you'll be visualizing on the curb." Makes sense.

I watched The Secret Full Movie.

The most interesting thing I found is that there are believers in this philosophy from every religion, whether you call it The Secret, Breakthrough, Miracle Morning, or whatever. I've heard that Moses, Jesus, and Mohammed all knew the secret. Well they must have known something to inspire millions of believers centuries later. There are equal numbers of secular followers turning to The Universe (forces of nature, etc.) as there are those who thank God for giving them everything. This is for everyone, it's not just for Jews or Christians.

I considered what it would take to be all the things I want. There is no getting away from the fact that you need to start early in the day. I joined Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning group on facebook. To be fair, I was sick last week so I've not got round to actually getting up early and doing some of it yet. And I will be aiming for a 6 a.m. start not a 5 a.m. start because you have to be realistic.

I prepared myself by buying beautiful new notebooks to use for the affirmations and planning my life. I changed my affirmations from last week as they were too wishy-washy. I wasn't ready to commit yet but I am now.

This morning I set the alarm for 6 a.m. but I couldn't make it out of bed until 7. I just couldn't. The Universe heard me and came to my rescue. The meeting at college that I thought was at 11 a.m is actually at 12. So I still have the five hours I'd planned for the morning. Thanks Universe, I owe you.

I get it now and I'm onto it. Sometime today I'll receive Session 4. Watch this space.

You Get What You Are - #Breakthrough 2

After the the first Breakthrough class with Devorah Sisso I kept up the commitment not to be angry, not to complain, and not to indulge in self-pity. It was fun and certainly a lot more pleasant than getting angry and complaining about things.

Lesson Two arrived on Sunday and I was excited. I loved this one. The first session was lots of theory which was fascinating, but this one was where the work started. I listened to the podcast, rapt. At one point Devorah said, "this is going to blow your mind!" And it did. It blew my mind. There was so much information that I couldn't possible take it all in and remember it all, even though I'd jotted down some notes.

On Monday I remembered that the lesson had blown my mind but I couldn't remember why. I listened to the whole thing again and took more notes. This time I got it.

The main message is that you don't get what you want, you get what you are. So it's not enough to tell the Universe (or God) that you want this, this and this. You have to be this, this, and this and you will attract more of the same like a magnet.

This is how I understood it (with my own examples).

For some obvious examples - if you want a loving family who enjoy spending time together then you must be a loving mother who enjoys spending time with her family (and actually spends the time). If you want to be a slim, healthy, beautiful woman you have to be the woman who eats healthy food in moderation and exercises. You didn't need a life coach to tell you these but if you're not practicing either of these examples then you don't really believe it or you're not really doing it. And you have to believe it and do it to be it.

Let's take it up a notch. You want a lot of money? You have to be rich. We're all rich in the hierarchy of wealth in the world but sometimes we don't feel rich. If you stop comparing yourself to others and start being grateful for how rich you are, you will attract more riches. I've not tried this one yet but it's part of this week's homework.

The bottom line is that you have to become what you want. There was a fascinating lesson in quantum physics to explain why this works scientifically - all about the core of every atom in every cell being pure energy. The message is that you can change your very being by changing your energy.

It all starts with affirmations (yes these are mine).
- I am a slim, healthy, and radiantly beautiful woman who eats healthy food in moderation and exercises regularly.
- I am rich, Money comes easily to me and I will always have enough.
- I am an excellent writer and could definitely write a great novel.
- I am self disciplined and accomplish everything efficiently by blocking time, using the early mornings, and a 20 minute nighttime routine to pick up from the day before.

Of course you actually have to do all the things you affirm to. It's not just about 'ask and you will receive' (I knew it was too good to be true).

There's nothing new here in the things you have to do. The new, for me, was the explanation and the linking it all to Jewish and biblical sources. Devorah herself says she didn't make any of it up - it's all there in history, the Bible and other spiritual guides. Many great people have discovered the secrets of success and there are libraries of self-development material readily available. But if you're not doing it, or doing it only half heartedly, maybe you need it explained in a way that can break through to your brain and get you with the programme.

This course is not a cure all for every problem. Devorah explicitly says that her relationship advice is for normal relationships that can improve. If you are in an abusive relationship, don't try to change it - just run. Similarly, it's not going to take away all your life burdens instantly, but it might turn them into opportunities rather than burdens. And what you think you want isn't always what you need. If you have everything and you're still not happy, you won't be happy anywhere unless you change yourself from the inside. Finally, it's a valid affirmation to say, "Everything that is happening now is happening for my ultimate good. Though these times are difficult, they are only a short phase of life."

All Shuk Up - Reasons 2B Cheerful

35 books in Hebrew that we don't read - out!

The festive season has begun - the one that starts now and ends after the Jewish Holy-days some time in October. Tomorrow is Tu B'Shvat, otherwise known as the New Year for Trees.

1
Tree planting
Yesterday at work half the school was out planting trees with their Youth Movements. Notice I said Youth Movements with capitals, and not youth clubs? It's a strong tradition that most kids belong to something like Scouts, with differing ideologies, and the Movements have political clout all the way to the top. It's part of the the social system that the State is very involved in bringing up your children.

Obviously the kids in school were not in the mood to work. There was a lot cake making and chocolate creations. Rehearsals for a big event tomorrow night meant a fair bit of music, singing, and dancing. It was more like a party than a school.

We ended up watching Les Choristes (The Chorus) with Grade 6. Only it was in French with Hebrew subtitles. I sort of kept up but I need to find it on You Tube with English.

15 toys, puzzles and games that we've grown out of - out!

2
School Fair
DD's school is having a school shuk (market) today. You don't have to make a stall but loads of cupcakes, cookies, candies were being brought in so I reckon there will be a lot of food stalls. DD and her friend are doing a stall of toys, books, and games. I'm thrilled that we got to donate loads of items that we have grown out of out.

It's very sweet the way they're doing it. Everyone gives in 10 shekels (about 2 pounds) and in return they get 1,000 Gs (school money). This means that there is no real money lying around and the numbers are more realistic. You can charge 10 Gs for a cupcake which feels better than its actual price of 1 agorah (0.2p). All the fun of the fair without large sums of money involved.

I'm going back at 10 o'clock to help. I can feel my organizing hormones getting all excited already.

3
Breakthrough
I'm keeping up with my Breakthrough homework by not complaining or getting angry about anything. It really does make you more content and the days are just more pleasant.

I listened to my podcast of Session 1 again to make sure I'd internalized all the points. I also found Devorah Sisso Stieglitz on You Tube and listened to some of her other lectures. Devorah is an Orthodox (you could say ultra-Orthodox but these things are subjective) Jewish woman who primarily caters to other Orthodox Jewish women.

The lectures are peppered with Hebrew terms and her teachings are linked to the Torah (Old Testament) and Jewish sources. And whereas you can interpret God in whichever way is meaningful for you - a higher power, the energy of the universe, the forces of nature, etc... - Devorah talks about Him with a capital H.

It's not going to appeal to everyone. However, the underlying principles of feeding your soul with healthy attitudes and actions are universal and I believe they do apply to everyone of any faith, race or creed. (What is creed anyway?)

I'm looking forward to the next session on Sunday although I realize from Devorah's other lectures, that it's not just going to be about opening up to let the Universe shower you with gifts. There's going to be a lot of work involved that will involve leaving one's comfort zone. I have trouble leaving my bed in the morning, let alone my comfort zone. But I've committed to the course so I'll be doing it.

So there are my R2BC for this week. I'm linking up to Becky at Lakes Single Mum who's hosting us this month.

The Beginning With #Breakthrough

As you will know from my previous post, I've been watching all sorts of inspirational videos on You Tube to try to get to a more comfortable place in my life. If you were following me a few years ago you'll know that things were financially quite scary in a way I never imagined possible until I had to deal with the time and energy constraints of being a single mother. Since then I've secured better employment and we can manage as in, we can get by. However, it's not always easy, I'm not totally happy in one place of work (should I expect to be?), there is no money for extras (like holidays, extra-curricular activities for DD, or babysitters), and there are things I'd rather be doing for a living.

One of the perks of writing a blog is that every so often you get offered something in return for writing about it. (I've got a couple of cookery books this way but I'm still waiting for my free Filofax and a holiday in Eilat.) Last week I was asked if I'd like to do Breakthrough with Devorah Sisso Steiglitz. I said I'd like. I don't know how much Breakthrough costs but I do know that some of the courses offered by other gurus (for want of a better word of less than 20 characters) ask many hundreds of dollars for their courses. There must be something more that they don't tell us on You Tube. I wanted to know what it is.

I have a good idea of what's involved to get everything you want from the universe - happiness, fulfillment, a free Filofax, etc... I even started to put some of it into practice over the weekend before Breakthrough began. I stopped complaining about the physical conditions of my school and instead focused on how lucky I was to be head-hunted for a job which allows me to finish the month in the black (well sometimes in the grey but only for a short while). I thought about how friendly the staff and students are rather than how cold the building is and the fact that I teach in a dungeon-cum-room of requirement for things that need to be hidden.

On Saturday night I received my introductory letter from Devorah. And on Sunday morning I got the first session. I was psyched and ready to open my mind, let go my fears and let the universe in. However, I had to go into college first and meet with students.

Here's what happened on Sunday morning at college. The book-keeper called me into her office to tell me they'd awarded me an extra hour/week of payment back-dated to last September. I'm not exactly sure what happened there but I think it's something to do with the fact that one of my courses is online so, because there are  no physical constraints on classroom size, I have bigger classes than anyone else. And they are spreading the payments for my summer courses over the year instead of me being broke in July and having to wait until the end of September to get a lump sum.

I was amazed. Could things be happening just because I'd started looking on the bright side? Before I'd even started listening to the course and doing the assignments?

I listened to Devorah's lecture on Sunday afternoon and did the assignment. The first page was the usual things you'd expect from any self-development course. You have to write down how you feel about various aspects of your life, presumably to acknowledge where you stand and to be able to see how much you change over the course of the sessions.

Part B was to commit to refraining from three poisons that you feed your soul. She gave as examples: stop complaining, stop feeling self-pity, and stop being angry. I couldn't think of any others so I committed to the examples, even though I'm not a big self-pityer.

On Monday morning the sun was shining, it was warm outside with a bright blue sky. (Yes I know everyone got that not just me.) I appreciated the beautiful scenery of the Jerusalem hills from the bus window. (Is this what they call mindfulness? It's a 40 minute bus ride.) At school I gladly gave up my free period to work with pupils who weren't involved in some rehearsal for something. I did shout a few times during other lessons but I didn't get angry. There's a subtle difference and I felt it. I smiled and was calm throughout the day. I didn't wear my coat even though it was a bit chilly - it wasn't freezing as last week was. I resisted all temptation to eat the bread that's always in the staff room. The day went like a breeze and I came home happy. (Btw, that doesn't mean I'm accepting the conditions for next year, just that I'll not suffer for the remainder of the winter this year.)

I think I might be turning into Pollyanna.

What Time Do Life Coaches Go To Bed?

This is what 5 a.m. looks like in the real world.

This is a serious question because I don't get it. The numbers just don't add up. I've been watching a lot of inspirational videos on You Tube recently, I'm trying to find inspiration to do something. Anything really - doesn't matter what. I'm in a rut, it's not a secret.

Partly it's the physical conditions of one of my work places. It's a school built like a kibbutz (because it is a kibbutz). This means buildings with the rooms opening to the outside, i.e. not onto an internal corridor. So whenever you go anywhere you have to go outside to get there.

Also English is taught in smaller groups (a good thing) and the school population has grown so much over the past few years (it's a popular school) that I don't have a proper classroom to teach in. I'm either in a freezing basement bomb-shelter (the windows have holes in them for ventilation and the heater is on a weird timer) or sitting in the drafty entrance hall by the continuously used front door.

This is lovely for 6 months of the year (actually 4 because two of those months are the summer holiday) and bearable for another 2 months. However, for 4 months of the year I am freezing and spend the whole day in my coat. It's totally miserable and uncomfortable. So I actually hate three days a week from December until April.

Of course, this spills over into everything else because if you're not happy at work you're not happy. Even if you love the other two days at your other place of work - which I do.

So, back to the subject in hand - inspirational videos. Do you know what the secret  to an amazing life is? Apparently it's getting up early and doing a list of morning rituals. These include some or all of the following: meditation, mindfulness, or prayer, exercise, gratitude exercises, affirmations, journal writing, juicing, and reading at least 10 pages of something educational or motivational. It's about an hour's worth of rituals. I pity the slow readers.

Hal Elrod, author of The Miracle Morning, fabulous speaker with an amazing life-story (so far), with many You Tube videos and interviews, says that getting up at 5 a.m. is so brilliant and life-enhancing that for the past seven years he's been getting up at 4 a.m. to do his rituals. What I want to know is - what time does he go to bed at night? He has a wife and young children and presumably a social life so how can he realistically expect to be in bed by 9 p.m. in order to get the recommended seven hours sleep? [Update: I did some googling and I just now saw that Hal Elrod is battling cancer. I wish him a full and speedy recovery. In a recent podcast he says that he's bumped up his sleep from six hours to seven hours/night. I acknowledge that he might not be getting up at 4 a.m. at the moment.]

Another guy gave the game away (I couldn't find his name). He went into great detail about how he starts each day and how it sets him up for enjoying every minute of his life. He said, "I don't even need an alarm clock anymore. I naturally wake up around 8 a.m. every morning." That means he doesn't need to start work until 9.30 a.m if he works from home, which he does because he's a lifestyle guru. Translate that for people who commute to work and this wonderful message is actually only for those who can start work at 10 a.m. or later. I have to leave for the bus stop at 7.30 a.m.

Yes I could go to bed at 9 p.m and get up at 5 a.m. (I need 8 hours sleep). Of course I could. If I did that my morning routine would necessarily look like this: toilet, shower, teeth, and dress (15 minutes - 20 if I bother with what my face looks like), wash dirty dishes in the sink from last night (10 minutes), make packed lunch for DD (7 minutes - 10 if it involves hunting for her lunch-box from the previous day and washing it), put on a load of laundry (3 minutes), make coffee (3 minutes), check phone and email for any surprises (up to 10 minutes if anything needs answering or leads to a discussion), do the hour of work, grading and lesson planning that I didn't get done the night before before because I had to be in bed by 9 p.m. (1 hour), wake DD and chivy her along to full school-readiness (10 minutes - not concurrent), hang out the wet washing (12 minutes), pack my bag (3 minutes), and go down three flights of stairs and then up again because we've forgotten something (5 minutes).

I can do my inspirational and motivational reading on the 40 minute bus ride to school. And I can do more inspirational and motivational reading on the way home. This is good because I will need all the inspiration and motivation I can muster after the morning I've had.