Five things I would like to be reincarnated as:
1. The twins - Hindsight and Insight. They work together. When Hindsight tells you what will happen if you follow a certain doomed direction, Insight tells you that even though the situation is slightly different this time Hindsight still knows what he's talking about. I'd never make a wrong decision, a dodgy investment, or a stupid move. I'd be made.
2. A juicer. I'd have to eat healthily then. I mean you can't juice a box of chocolates, a slice of cake or even a plate of chips.
3. A mermaid. Whereas in this life I just get on with it and sort out my own problems, there are those women - usually with flowing locks and floaty long skirts so you can't see their (lack of) legs - who in the face of a crisis, will stand in the centre of the room wittering, "how could I have been so silly...?" Meanwhile everyone (male and female) is rushing around trying to fix things for them, gathering whatever they need, seeing to their children, falling over themselves to make it all better for the (I'm convinced of it) mermaid. I want that.
4. A small bottle of water. Lets face it, they get taken everywhere these days. No celebrity, A-lister, Royalty, or just plain billionaire, ever leaves home without their little bottle of water. Just think of the places I'd go and the people I'd meet. And then I'd 'spill' everything to Hello Magazine and retire comfortably on the pay-off.
5. Google Translate. I'd be able to read everything in almost every language in the world. I'd be highly sought after by diplomats, scholars and global businesses. It's true that no one will understand a word I say but you can't have everything.
Hahahahahahahaha this list properly made me chuckle. Google translate is a genius idea!
ReplyDeleteThanks Carole, what a lovely comment. :)
DeleteNumber 5 is my favourite, it made me laugh! I hate Google Translate! :D
ReplyDeleteTry reading a whole essay from a student who thinks they can write in Hebrew and just Google translate each sentence. I have to laugh then otherwise I'd cry.
DeleteVery clever. That listography defeated me. Don't bother about the juicer though. We have one and it sits dust laden above our busy chocolate drawer.
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit like that clothes hanger that looks a lot like an exercise bike isn't it? I have a sideboard that looks like a piano as well.
DeleteReally well done! I just couldn't think of anything for this - so I salute your imagination - loved 'the twins' and 'the bottle of water'!
ReplyDeleteThank thee kindly. I was also stumped but this came to me in a near-sleep state of doze.
DeleteLoving the mermaid one - although I must say you paint her as a bit of a conniving wench! I'm honored (and delighted) that you got up out of bed to write this - who does that?!
ReplyDeleteShhh, I actually think they are conniving wenches. But if I only knew how to connive so effectively...
DeleteI think I could juice cake :) I often mash here with cream/custard for my special girl!
ReplyDeleteNow you've got me thinking about trying it - LOL! And we've all had chocolate drinks haven't we?
DeleteGenius list! I too love the mermaid one. I will never make it in this life as a mermaid!
ReplyDeleteI know, either you've got mermaid or you haven't.
ReplyDeleteYou ad such fun thinking of these!
ReplyDeleteI certainly id Becky! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat list! I like number 4 - good thinkin.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jackie - The only problem with 4 is that I might get a little drunk.
Delete